Monday, 10 March 2014

Should I ask for a drumstick?

I did  a 3am- 7 am shift at Samaritans this morning and had an ostrich steak for breakfast when I got home.
How bleeding odd was that?
Tesco's now sell the bird as part of their " gourmet " range and I couldn't resist buying a couple of steaks that were reduced in price when I went shopping on Friday.
I don't think the clientele of Tescos Prestatyn are quite ready for ostrich.
Non of it was looking as though it was flying off the shelves

Even though it is incredibly low in fat , Chris refused to have the steaks cooked for his supper, hence my slightly odd choice of breakfast
It was bloody tasty  too.

Anyhow that reminds me:-

  A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?"
The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says, "OK, that will be £ 4.87"
The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. About an hour later the bartender goes back over to them and says, "What'll you guys have?"
The man says, "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." The bartender gets them their beer and says "That'll be $4.87."
The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him. A couple of days later they come back into the bar and the bartender walks over and asks "What do you guys want today?"
The man says, "I'll have a scotch", the ostrich says, "I'll have a bourbon", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer and I'm not buying." So the bartender says "OK, that will be £ 8.55 The man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact change and pays him.
The bartender's curiosity got the best of him and he asks, "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe you always have the exact change in you pocket?"
The man said, "I found a bottle with a genie in it and she granted me 3 wishes. My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for anything I buy."
The bartender says, "That's a great wish...better than asking for a million dollars. A million dollars will run out but that never will. What were your other 2 wishes?"
The man says, "That's where I screwed up. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."

44 comments:

  1. LOL hilarious joke. Ostrich steaks? I've never heard of such a thing! I need to add that to my bucket list. My food bucket list that is .

    ReplyDelete
  2. Made me laugh, at this early hour. Ostrich - sounds interesting, but then I'll eat almost anything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, like me asking the Genie for a dick that reached the ground. There was a flash, a puff of smoke and my legs fell off.

    I love ostrich meat but it is miles better with a rich sauce,

    ReplyDelete
  4. My hubby has ordered ostrich at restaurants the few times they have been on a menu and enjoyed it. I am not so adventurous, at least when it comes to birds. I like them shorter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yum! We have steak (a cheap cut) and eggs for breakfast occasionally ...though not ostrich steak...yet!

    (hahahaaa!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. No one can tell them like you John! In the words of Frank Carson 'It's a cracker!' x

    ReplyDelete
  8. teeeheeee like bacon and egg my self loveeee the joke

    ReplyDelete
  9. ¡Ja ja ja!!! I can always count on you.

    Haven't tried ostrich steak but have heard its good. Maybe the local pub should start serving Aussie-style "Buffalo Wings" during happy hour.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've never had ostrich, but it looks like you did a fabulous job cooking it. Thanks for the joke, it was wonderful for an early Monday at the office!

    ReplyDelete
  11. A dead animal is a dead animal, full stop. So, if we eat one kind, how come we sometimes become a bit squeamish about other kinds? A goose, a duck, a chicken, a turkey, an ostrich... except for their size, what's the difference? What we really should care about is the way the animal was allowed to live its (presumably short) life before it ended up in neat portions to be sold in supermarkets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes it's advertising. There used to be a veal ad that turned me off it for life.

      Delete
    2. Well said! I rarely eat meat any more due to the horrors of factory farming. Two thing I have always refused to eat were veal and lamb! I did buy some pork chops today that were from local, pasture raised pigs at our new organic market. When I saw the eggs, I wondered if the chickens were raised as lovingly as John's. Somehow I doubt it!

      Delete
  12. Contrary to your natural inclination, always ask for the breast.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Protein is good in the morning.......waste not, want not.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bwahahha love the joke! Have you tried emu (I haven't)? They were pushing that a few years back as a healthy meat, but it seems very difficult to get people to try these "new" foods!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Not far from Guelph we Emu and Elk farms. I would imagine Emu is pretty close to Ostrich. Haven't tried either.

    ReplyDelete
  16. wahahahahahaah !
    I love leftovers for breakfast, so that steak looks very yummy to me.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  17. A few years back we used to get ground ostrich here and then out local Hannafords supermarket which is owned by the same British consortium that owns Tescos stopped carrying it. It is great for topping on pizza as it is so low in fat it crisps up nicely without making for soggy dough.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Giving Bunty a run for her money this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I had ostrich a couple times and liked it fine. When I lived in Germany I appreciated that a real variety could be found in the fish and meat sections, rabbit was common. Here in the stores it's the same crap every day, pork and beef. I have friends that hunt, though, and occasionally get cuts of deer, elk and antelope.

    ReplyDelete
  20. They'll have to design whole new factories for processing ostrich if it gets popular, can you imagine them upside down on the chicken processing line at the factory ;-)

    Good joke!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Superb - the joke not the Ostrich steaks (I'm veggie). That made me laff which is much appreciated after a bad day - got bitten by a dog and spent all day in annoying, falling down pants. That's where it all went wrong

    ReplyDelete
  22. I love those " a man walks into a bar...." jokes.
    Think I'll keep to Cow steaks thanks, though I did wonder if anyone had ever had roast seagull - there are some MASSIVE ones around here !

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh dear John - you lowered the tone after your interesting take on ostrich steak (which, incidentally, looks decidedly undercooked to me). Your joke reminds me of one I told for years when I was younger without ever having an idea of what it meant. A friend still always draws a bulls head on the back of the envelope when he writes to me, just to remind me of my innocence in those days.
    What makes a bull sweat?
    A tight Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat!
      You naughty old cow x

      Delete
  24. That's one variation. Next time, try neck of giraffe, if you have a party of more than the ostrich can go round.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Had some antelope once, very stringy.

    When confronting a genie, you must use exact words.

    ReplyDelete
  26. omg The walking dead tonight.... I felt for sure people were going to come out in the house somewhere...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a good episode sol
      I now like Maggie, sasha and bob.........

      Delete
  27. Good one John ….. how about this :
    A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham races to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
    When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
    As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said ' You must be in year four ? '
    ' No Madam ' , he replied, ' I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15 ' !!!!
    I like Ostrich and Kangaroo and Alligator. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nearly as good as John's joke!

      Delete
  28. Best joke of the day jac xxx

    ReplyDelete
  29. OH MY GOD JOHN I LOVE YOU LOL LOL

    ReplyDelete
  30. Several years ago we went to Niagara. Our sons were 15 and 17. They ordered ostrich as a starter and loved it. They wanted it at home. We eventually found a butcher in Richmond that had one piece of ostrich. The price was scary, about $100 for a small joint. We didn't buy it. Next time we are visit my mother I know which part of Tesco we need to check out.

    ReplyDelete
  31. The joke is hilarious. I've never tried ostrich and haven't ever seen it for sale.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  32. bwhahahahahahaha! spouse and I LOVED the joke!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hahahahaha, tears are running down our faces here John. I love a good joke but can never normally remember the punchline!!

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

    ReplyDelete
  34. I've had ostrich a couple times and liked it very much. It looks perfectly cooked--i've been told that you don't want it any more done than medium rare for the best flavour.

    A former hockey teammate raised emus, and i got a few emu steaks from her to try. Very similar to ostrich, but i found i cooked them a bit too long.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x