Anyway we left the old Berlingo by the station, and so had to get the bus this morning down to town to collect it.
On a Saturday there is only one bus from the village
Now, you have to remember that Chris does not "do" public buses
The very thought turns him into a very passable imitation of Maggie Smith's Dowager from Downton Abbey, and so it was with somewhat of a devilish heart that I made him walk with me to the bus stop in the centre of the village.
In "Chris world" a bus ride could be a gentle, quiet and private experience. The reality of the situation was somewhat different when a largish gaggle of local grey hairs ambled noisily from the pensioner bungalows to join us in the bus shelter.
Now I know most of these characters , where as chris does not, and I could hear Chris mutter under his breath when local larger-than-life " gay" Gordon bellowed his usual "HELLO FLOWER,"as he limped across the road with his neighbour ( an elderly lady with a walker) in tow.
"MORNING MY DARLING!" Gordon sang out when another neighbour , Rowena, passed the bus stop on her way home." FLUTTERING YOUR EYELASHES AT ME FLOWER YOU NAUGHTY THING" he flirted away as Rowena gave him one of those " get away with you" waves.
He then turned his attention to me and asked me in his theatrical way how all the animals were doing
as more ladies from the pensioner bungalows arrived to join in the chat. Gordon sang out a lusty
" DO YOU KILL YOUR OWN COCKERELS JOHN?"
Chris tried to disappear into the background as I answered him.
It was getting all a bit much for him
" I USED TO GUT AND PREPARE HENS AT A FARM IN SARN" Gordon continued to explain to the small crowd
" I USED TO DRAPE THEIR GUTS AROUND MY NECK AND CHASE THE LOCAL CHILDREN" he added colourfully
Chris groaned to himself and said " how lovely"
It was all hugely entertaining.
And there was another ten minutes of all this before the bus arrived.
Half an hour later we had reached Prestatyn and jumped off the bus into the the sun
Chris didn't say much, but his face was a picture
" never again" he said simply