Monday, 17 June 2013

Pissed off ...but not depressed.




There are several things that irritate me in this big old world.
Bad manners,
people that say one thing but do another,
Meanness of spirit
I could go on, and on... and on
But there is one thing that has consistantly " bugged me" over the years and that is the
Overuse of the statement 
" I am depressed"
I heard it again this morning when in conversation with someone
And be it right or wrong.. I  had the overwhelming urge to say
When the dreaded D word was uttered

"Depression is an illness
And a devastating one at that"
You may be despondant, 
You may be pissed off,
You may be unhappy
You may be a sour faced old fart
You may be just a crabby old bastard with problems
No friends and a wife who hates your guts

But don't just jump on the helpless bandwagon and say that
You're depressed
Because invariably you're not!
OK?

56 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more, John. I was hospitalised for 16 weeks with depression many many years ago. Bears no relation to being sad, unhappy, cheesed off etc.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What bugs me is when people play the helpless card, period. When they don't want to do something, they pussyfoot around. For crying out loud, just say no. "No, i'm not going to do that." Fine; then if i need to ask someone else to help me who is willing and able, i shall. "I'm depressed" falls into that helpless card category in my world.

    One person who often used that expression with me became agitated, when i finally snapped one day and said to her, "They make medication for that, you know."

    Not everyone thinks clinically, however.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Megan....that has happened to recently... And like you I cannot abide it.

      Delete
  3. Yes, John. Pisses me off too how sloppily people use that expression when, in truth, all THEY need is a plaster and someone else needs real help.

    What pisses me of in equal measure that the "well meaning" call you depressed and send you to the doctor and/or recommend, by way of example, 'bereavement counselling' when, for five minutes, you are feeling a little bit under the weather, shed the odd tear (say, your cat or your grandfather has died). It's laughable: Can't one have a normal human emotion/feeling (if uncomfortable one) without being 'medicalised' and offered happy pills? One of my friends is terrible that way. And I mean terrible. The sort of person you can't mention to that you didn't get that much sleep last night without immediately being offered St John's Wort. Give me a hug instead. Or just nod. Or leave me alone. To wallow.

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lazy talking= lazy thinking Bitch x

      Delete
  4. John, Suicide has touched my friends and family recently. My nephews good friend, my friend's daughter and a month ago my dear (young only 59) uncle. Not only can I not stand it when people say 'I'm depressed" when they are not, the expression "i'd kill myself" is used quite often. Because I am highly sensitized to it I hear often people say "I'd shoot myself if ....happened" or "just give me a noose" or "I'd rather kill myself". When making such remarks, you never know if the person beside you has had a loved one do just that. Suicide is a too frequent end to depression and both are not terms to joke or make light of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point well said chania x

      Delete
  5. Oh, AMEN to that! Having had friends who were clinically depressed, I am on the same bandwagon with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's like a panacea badge to be worn by unhappy people

      Delete
  6. K then ya crabby ole bass, ya made your point you're " pissed off " not depressed ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll tell you what bothers me: when people say they're so "OCD". And they say it to congratulate themselves on positive qualities they think they have, like attention to detail and/or being overly organized. They say it to show off.

    As someone who has suffered (to varying degrees) her whole life with REAL OCD....a genetic inheritance from my dad....there is nothing cute or fun or positive about it! Like all true mental illness it's total shit! So is depression.People shouldn't be so casual about using these terms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another good point Jennifer.....
      We all need to think a bit more ...lazy thinking

      Delete
  8. well this is just goddamn depressing! OOPS!!!! hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Real depression is nasty...a case of the blues can't begin to compare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or like churchil's black dogs?

      Delete
  11. I feel the same way about people who say, "I'm starving", when they mean they are ready for their 3rd meal of the day, although I have to stop myself from doing the same. It makes me so depressed...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you ever say " I m gasping " before that first pint?

      Delete
    2. No, but I do say "A man could die of thirst here!" when waiting to be served at The Bell Inn, 103 Walcot Street, Bath, Somerset, BA1 5BG, sometimes.

      Delete
    3. That's one off my list then

      Delete
  12. It has become the habit of medical providers to inquire whether their patients are depressed. I find this disconcerting. You go to the doctor with what appears to be a simple problem and before you leave they ask, "Are you depressed?" What? Is there something I don't know about? Am I dying and you just haven't told me? Why should I be depressed?

    Maybe it's just a way to see if they can sell you one more useless prescription. But I wish they'd stop asking.

    I don't get depressed, I get angry. Can you tell?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah.....depressed people that don't know they are depressed often get angry jan

      Delete
    2. Must be a (train)carload of depressed women in every city in America. Everyone I know, that's the first thing the Dr asks, "Are you depressed?", it doesn't matter if you go in with hay fever, a blood clot, or a sprained ankle.

      Delete
    3. Their therapists probably ask the same question; and then, of themselves!

      Delete
  13. I absolutely detest the term "I'm bored!" I wish I had 6 more hours in each day to make up for the pesky sleeping thing. Depressed and bored two self grandizing terms meant to elicit reactions that you will entertain them? Beats me... too self absorbed or maybe lazy?
    Best to you and the critters!
    Ruth in Calif.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The response to "I'm bored," is "No, you are boring."

      Delete
    2. Well said Susie! ^5

      Delete
  14. Now that's telling it like it is! Now, how about writing a righteous tirade against people using the term "retarded" as an insult? That really chaps my ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chaps my ass
      I will remember that phrase for the next community council meeting

      Delete
  15. Absolutely. Well said.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Here here! It is very over used and has lost it's genuine meaning on the poplus - it makes me depressed! (oops)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Other over used words include
      Counselling
      Ventilate
      Closure
      And
      Flange

      Delete
  17. And the people who are 'depressed' when everything in their world is not perfect are also often the ones who have flu rather than a cold and who only get migraines, never a headache. And have often never seen, much less had, the real deal.

    ReplyDelete
  18. While we are all venting (I agree on the incorrect use of the word 'depression )can I throw in the person who has a headache and moans about their 'migraine'? Well I did anyway.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  19. A person who suffers depression does not usually complain as their pain is so great. They are usually quiet and look to be alone because there is no room for anyone else in the hole they find themselves in.

    I was ill years ago and climbed my way out to find the joy of living again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too Starting over. Als well said, i laughed and cried and was deeply depressed. but i healed.

      Delete
  20. I have major depressive disorder. I take my medication. Occasionally, I cannot function in a worthwhile manner, but most of the time, I think the best medicine (for me) is finding ways to be kind to people. It bothers me when people talk about depression and suicide in a light or joking manner.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said Jamie
      We know nothing unless we have walked in those shoes x

      Delete
  21. Thanks for this John! Having grown up with a parent who had manic depression/bi-polar disorder, I am acutely aware of what you are saying here. It is not something to take and wear lightly. It can be devastating.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you John. I have severe depression and it took more than 6 months for my best(?) friend to hear me when I told her.
    I fought for privacy to have telephone counselling so that The Fuckwit (husband) would not jump on my bandwagon (to no avail when the letter marked private and confidential with the counselling agency identity label slapped all over it came through the post). He then decided he had it too!?!
    Yesterday (17th) was my birthday and it was not a happy one. All The FW could talk about all day was how he fell over in the shopping centre. In my paranoid state I think it is a ploy to make sure I have to go out with him instead of staying home or in this case go out to lunch with the best friend who has just realised when I sob on the phone that I am in pain.
    I gave up the counselling as trying to get privacy was causing too much anguish. I am going it alone with just my blog.
    Sorry for the whinging - I went to bed at 8.30 just to get the day over with.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  23. Very, very well said.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I always wonder...what came first...the depression or the meds?

    ReplyDelete
  25. "I'm depressed..." "So, what meds are you taking?"
    I have one friend that is clinically depressed. It is a whole different animal than the blues, grief, or being upset. So, I think I must agree with you, depressed should be reserved for... gasp! Depression!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Perhaps there is a distinction between feeling or being depressed and suffering depression? But yes, depression is not feeling out of sorts with the world or people, or sad for yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  27. There's a huge difference between 'feeling a bit depressed', and suffering from 'depression'. Luckily I suffer from neither, nor do I intend to.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think (am not sure) that I went through about a month or two of depression, which healed itself (change of job) sometime in the beginning of 2012. I can testify to the fact that even though my 'depression' might have been imaginary, it feels really odd. No chain of thought, only thoughts containing pessimism in the biggest magnitude. I was lucky because of my family and friends at that idiotic workplace.

    Sadly, after they get some term to the level of daily slang, it is difficult to tell people to forget it. I am going to stop myself before I say anything needlessly pessimistic and make sure no one near me does the same.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Good point. I think there's an awful long stretch of road between a lethargic, having a bad day mood (God knows we all get those) and depression.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I could offer some of my " Happy Pills "

    ReplyDelete
  31. I agree...hope I haven't pissed you off...'cause I and about 99% of my Mom's side of the house SUFFER(ed) from depression...the kind that's deep and life threatening and treated (in my case). Hey, Hey!!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm depressed by the casual use of the term schizophrenic as an adjective, usually on TV and by "comedians".

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x