Thursday, 7 February 2013

' I'm not a well man'




My head is full of snot today
But still the car needs a garage visit, the dogs need walking and the geese needed seperating from Polenta, the Aylesbury drake,who they attack with alarming regularity when he aggressively shags one of the older female runners.
I promise I will try not to complain too much... There is nothing worse than a real whinger.,,we all know someone who always answers a polite question of ' How are you?' 
With a shake of the head and a list of bodily complaints.

This reminds me of the best EVER reaction someone could give to a person that was full of woes.
It happened when my best friend was working on her one psychiatric placement during her general nurse training many years ago.
Suffering a hangover from hell, she chose to take the air with a neurotic patient and both sat on a bench within the hospital grounds 'for a chat'
The patient banged on for an age about this problem and that and my friend seemed to listen to all of her troubles with patience whilst all of the time trying manfully not to throw up.
finally my friend held up her hand, silencing the patient at a particularly poignant position in the proceedings, she then walked slowly to a nearby litter bin.... Threw up a magnificent bile of stomach contents, then with some dignity slowly walked next to the patient and motioned her to continue....
Now that's class........


45 comments:

  1. Bahahaha! That is epic! Well done that woman.

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  2. Chicken soup...with apologies to the Gulag inhabitants or whatever it is you call that field of yours.

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    1. The Ukrainian village heda x

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  3. It's all down to the old half pint of beer analogy John. Is it half full or half empty? I would say it's half empty. What would you say it was?

    Enjoyed your blog videos yesterday.

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  4. Helen Devries11:28 am

    Unbeatable.
    Father's cry was always
    Spare me the organ recital.

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    1. I'll remember that commented will use it as my. Own x

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  5. do tell! classy way to hurl! get well soon! :)

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  6. Winter brings out the whiners. I'd rather get through it with wine myself.

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  7. I agree with "Starting Over"... a little whine goes a long way... so does a little wine.

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  8. It always amazes me when you talk to someone & they manage to turn the whole conversation to being all about them.

    I know someone who does this when she asks how your holiday was - you get to say one thing & the rest of the conversation is about their holidays - makes me laugh.
    ( I know so much about the places they have visited that I do not need to visit these places myself now. Perhaps I'll try the vomit approach next time !)

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  9. yes, some people have the same effect on me too!

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  10. If I'm on the phone and the other person stars a 'health whinge' I make faces and 'wind it up' gestures,I struggle not to do the same when face to face.
    Jane x

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    Replies
    1. that's true...........she's always telling me she's busy and has to go....LOL


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    2. Gill, cheeky sod!
      Jane x

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  11. Oh, how glad I am you went into nursing, John, so you could share all these stories with us. Of course, I suspect that no matter what your profession (or hobbies), you'd find a way to make it uniquely entertaining.

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  12. If only all of life's woes could be dispensed with so easily.

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  13. beautiful... I may have to print this off and stick it to my forehead... hope you feel better soon x

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  14. This is exactly why I dropped out of the blog world last two weeks while ill, it was a vision of someone hurling in my dust bin as I whined about my woes.

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  15. A good anecdote to share that is if I can remember it at the appropriate moment! Keep smiling that's if you can and soon if you can't right now. :)

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  16. You're lucky your commentbox doesn't accept my 'looking for Ralph'!

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  17. Ive tried to email you today - but had it returned. Email me and I'll see if that works. Stop talking about Spu! xxx

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    1. jgsheffield@hotmail.com

      I have emailed you too x

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  18. That is one classy lady. Knows how to vomit with grace and dignity.

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  19. When I barf, I sound like a hippo with a foghorn

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  20. I once went 9 years without vomiting. Damn I was proud of that personal record.

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    Replies
    1. And you recorded that? Tee hee

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  21. I agree, that is class and dedication!! I avoid those kind of moments at all possible costs!!!

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  22. One of my gud dugs use to throw all the time (I have tile floors to prove it) now that he is 10 it is somewhat better. I used to tell everyone he could throw up on demand.
    After this wonderful story, I am thinking throwing up on demand is not such a bad thing ! As they blather on and on one could use go over throw up and them sit back down, what a fabulous idea.
    I so want to be able to do this.

    cheers, parsnip

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  23. It surprises me how many people out there are like that! I have always been a tad naive though.

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  24. The best cure I ever found for a hangover was driving topless in the rain. The car with the top off, not me.

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  25. So you rant and complain once a while. Good to know you're not perfect. I'm so happy! :P

    (Sorry! Me sooo bad!)

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  26. That really was a great story, John.
    Hope you are in good health, soon!
    *hugs* ♥

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  27. The visual was tremendous. I see a new career in writing fiction John. You paint a scene well. Or perhaps I've just seen my share of pukers and it's easy to remember.

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  28. Pure style. Oscar worthy.

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  29. Perfect reaction....classic! If only we could do that at will eh? Sorry to hear you are rough, there's a lot of it about down here, as they say. Get well soon. :)

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  30. Thank you for the laugh! It does always amaze me that people really do think their health problems are of universal interest. Not only that, but that I need to know, as if my day would be incomplete, every last sodding detail. I speak specifically of my father, poor old bugger. He's always been like this, but at 88 it's his raison d'etre in life. Pray God I don't inherit that trait!

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    1. You will
      Unfortunately we all do

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    2. Not all of us John. My mother is not one of them and she's 77!

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