Daddy's Knee

All three bitches have been playing the  " I want to sit on daddy's knee" game
For the past three hours!!!!
Newbie Dorothy seems to be winning! 

Dorothy

The first time Winnie arrived at Bwthyn y llan
She was shy and frightened and slid across the threshold on her stomach

Today Dorothy did the same , albeit a little bit quicker and carry a third the old girl's weight.
She's  a small and rather pretty 2 year old bulldog with an eager smile and a bounce in her step

Breakfast

I've got the post Sitges blues
John sent me a photograph of beach in full glorious sunshine today. The thunderstorms that dovetailed my departure all done and forgotten.
In a Spanish vein I made a basil, mozzarella, salmon and papaya open sandwich for breakfast as I caught up with The Archers 

But without the lull roar of the Mediterranean, breakfast wasn't quite the same.
Yesterday I caught up with things here.
Villager Elder Islwyn was giving the finishing touches to a dry stone wall as I walked up.  You can always recognise him as we always wears a foreign legion hat with a sun guard flap down the back when working on village outdoor projects.
Islwyn is one of the carers for a lady in the village who is presently in hospital. He and the other carers have looked after their charge better than any trained nurse could have done and I can understand him being at a loose end.
At the Community Association coffee morning I caught up with perhaps a dozen others.
Bridget from Well Street was drumming up support for a race night at the village Hall on the 9th of November which looks like fun.
I collected the dogs at 5pm last night. Winnie steamed out of the kennel block like a hippo running for water when she heard me and has spent the following 18 hours with her head touching at least one part of my body at all times. Mary was exhausted and insisted on sitting on my knee as I drove home.
Albert went head rub mad when they got home

The family is reunited

I'll post Dorothy photos later. She arrives this afternoon

Sass

The best thing of the 

night

Pink Throw & Snogs

I was pegging out my holiday underpants and other clothes to dry in the breeze of the first warm yet autumnal feeling day of the year when a cheerful neighbour twitted " You're a regular Shirley Valentine " from over the garden wall.
I laughed.... I hadn't thought of the last few days as a holiday romance interlude
But they had...obviously

All I thought was that I had spent much of the past four days talking flirting  and laughing , oh and snogging, an attractive guy also called John  who unexpectedly felt  the same about me.
How good is that?!
We talked about sad times, then happy times.then silly times.
We ate and drank too much and shared a sun lounger ( a feat in itself given my arse!) on which I had placed  a new beach throw, a pink striped thing...one purchased from one of the polite beach vendors
Who flagwave their thin blankets into the breeze before them, like peacocks fluttering their tails at passing peahens
Me....buying a new throw was yet another minor milestone in that long list of milestones I've chalked up over the last few months
The juvenile snogs that followed ticked the next dozen milestones!
I'd forgotten just how nice it was to be kissed properly

Scrambled Egg Down My Top

Last breakfast in the quietly chattering grand restaurant of the Santa Maria
We ate here last night
It was fun

Anyhow.... true to form Ive spilt scrambled egg down my last clean top this morning
The weather has heen perfect
Thunderstorms are sweeping down the coast after I leave.

Sex In Your Fifties

I recieved an email this morning from the hospice informing me that I am just about to be paid
There is something quite wonderful in knowing you can just about pay your own bills.
Things are a struggle.
My solicitor merely farts and there is a cost.
Mary is going to be spayed very soon and Ive only just paid off George's bills last month but at least Dorothy will not need any health checks and my overtime at the shite nursing home has paid for my present jaunt abroad and so I'm almost Square
But this first time in many years I have not got an overdraft too!!

I've not had to ask for the help of my family since my separation.
I've done it on my own and I'm proud of the fact.

I am smiling to myself as I type this and a loud American Queen at the next breakfast table has just shot me a " he looks a bit mad!" look.

I don't care....and I've let out a little chuckle..but I resist the urge to blow him a raspberry

I'm also feeling rejuvenated from my room's state of the art shower tower which pummels my naked torso with waterjets from at least five "nipples" dotted up and down its length
I pride myself at being able to work most intensive care ventilators but this shower tower has me beat.
I have no idea how or why it works

I just turn it on
Brace myself
And hope for the best

Very much like sex in your fifties I guess...

And with that thought dearhearts I will leave for another day.

Over A Gin

My initial meeting with the Irish psychologist led to another later meeting over a gin and tonic.

He was at the stage I was when I came on holiday last year 

When his relationship break up was raw and ragged and pain filled.

He talked and talked and talked 

and then he cried for a bit

And I found myself holding the hand of an almost stranger in a bar on the beach

" Do you know what the worst emotion is in all this?" he asked finally

" It's shame" I told him and he nodded a cried a bit more

After a while I changed the subject a little and told him the story of my recent mastectomy patient who got her bra rubbed around the wrong way causing her prothesis to perch on her back like Quasimodo's hump.

It lightened the mood . 

We have arranged to meet up again for coffee

Despite his emotional mess , he is bright and interesting .

I think we both made a new friend yesterday.

5-2

Playing cards 

Under the Mediterranean moon of St Tecla 

Breezy and Warm

Breezy

It's warm

Candlesticks

For years I polished a pair of silver candlesticks that sat on various fireplaces at home.
I polished them and I loved doing so as I listened to the radio with silver polish on my knee and a pile of silverware at my  feet.
It was a ritual that I now miss
My husband took the candlesticks when he left
He bought them
I cleaned them for going on twenty years
I doubt they are shining now
The two squat Georgian candlesticks that shone in the firelight of the fireplace

A couple of weeks ago my sister threw out a load of antique stuff  and bric a brac and gave me first dibs on her stuff as she knows that we have the same taste.

The first things I saw were two charming pressed glass candlesticks sticking out of the pile
And cleaned up they glint with their own special glow on my mantle in the firelight
And they don't need polishing!!!

The View From My Garden

The cockerels are crowing  somewhere in the trees on the left.
They are chattering too as Albert stalks a rabbit in the shadows of the small bell tower
The crows above the sycamore are surfing the wind again and will crow a three crow warning when they see me in the garden with my bucket of coffee

Somewhere in the village, a dog is barking

A55

I'm tired tonight
Didn't get home until 9pm
Traffic bad along the coast
Even Wales has gridlocks
Nothing more lonely than a commute home
I'm not depressed
My new best mate at the hospice knows about my next "date"
"Leave me a note on reception stating 👎 Or 👍🏼 She asked as she left duty today
People love to know things about you!

Face

I met my friend Mave for coffee the day before yesterday
He told me I looked rough and my skin was dreadful
I listened to him and hit the moisturiser while soaking in the bath that night
That is where I sent this photo to my friend Kim !
" That's a lotta cream!" She texted
" I have a lotta face!" I replied

A Gap In The Trees

Most people now know  that I live down a small lane which leads out of the western edges of the village and down into a small shallowish valley.

The lane is bordered by steep hedgerows, which are gapped by five Bar gates leading into a succession of fields on either side.

In these fields are sheep, cattle and horses.

At the site of the last house in Trelawnyd, the lane turns sharply and narrows and at that corner you can gaze over the fields to a line of hawthorn, hedge dotted with trees and bramble in the near distance. That line of greenery is perhaps two hundred metres away and it is set against the sky which extends far over the sea

Towards one corner is a gap in the trees. That gap is illuminated by a bright grey sky today.

Last night, it was illuminated by a glowing night sky, which sometimes resembles the silhouettes seen in a Hollywood movie. 

It often reminds me of the countryside around Tara in Gone With The Wind.

Looking back up the lane into the village

Down the lane towards the fields

Last night the dogs and I with Albert in tow wandered down the lane in the dark.

The gateway into the field is a favourite wee spot and Mary often gazes out into the darkness in order to watch the flag white flickers from rabbit tails as they turn to run back to their burrows

It was perhaps eleven thirty when our group congregated at the gate.

And as I looked over to the gap in the trees I could clearly see a silhouette of a man standing still against the night sky.

The figure didn't move

There is no house or even a footpath at the gap, just a break in the vegetation leading to another field beyond.

But there was a figure of a man standing against the sky.

I suddenly felt rather vulnerable and exceedingly unnerved by the whole thing and moments later I was hurrying for home, hissing at Albert to follow.

Other Village News

No longer a teenage boffin
Adult Boffin Cameron has started work as an apprentice engineer at the world famous Bentley company today
The village is very proud of it's son
Well done xxxx

Ps. To answer other questions ...affable despot Jason is well....he has outrageously floppy hair and is very busy....we have planned to meet up soon. His girls are mighty fine.
Mrs Trellis is doing fine too and is about to complete her next grade at piano school.
Sailor John and the other members of the old flower Show Committee are very well. Ann has a new horse and Terry a new man shed, matriarch Irene is organising friendship group within an inch of its life.
Nurse Hattie went to the Trelawnyd WI first year's anniversary party and choir tenor Heulwen is in France

Trendy Carol has a lovely new blouse btw

News Update

I am mindful that quite a lot has happened over the past few weeks
So I thought it was time for a potted history catch up of sorts

It looks as though everything is on the way for being sorted with my mortgage of the cottage. The legal bits of taking my husband's name off the deeds are in progress but typically the work seems slow and somewhat pedestrian in nature which the way of the world in solicitor land, I know.
I've lived with this " no man's land" feeling for a year and a half now, so I am sure I can cope a bit longer.
The on line information which lets me know where the paperwork is up to, is still flashing the irritatingly static " pending" sign.......I guess I will just have to be patient.

The hospice move has proved to have been a good choice.
I have always been a good team player and as the unit has been extremely busy I have just got on with things while still having my old managerial head on, something that allows support up the ladder and down it.
The " roll your sleeves up" mentality is always celebrated on pragmatic nursing units

I'm tired, though...very tired  and last night after collecting the dogs from Trendy Carol ( Autumn colours , nice slacks, big hair) I flopped into the arm chair, made a couple of phone calls and fell asleep.
I woke in bed this morning at 10 am.....so I obviously needed the rest....
I miss choir dreadfully. But know I will able to return to my usual Tuesday night warble in a few weeks time

Oh yes and like I said a few days ago the date went fine. He's my age. Bright , intelligent, professional and by the look of things pretty fucking normal! He has an easy nature and I am taking things very slow indeed.
It does a lot for ones ego when someone actually likes your company.
For eighteen months all I have felt, is that sting of rejection.....

Oh and Dorothy arrives after the 20th
She will be coming out of a somewhat chaotic home environment and through necessity will be separated from a life long dog friend and so will be in desperate need of stability, routine and calming company.
Winnie will be an ideal foil for all of Dorothy's woes and one more mouth to feed won't be too onerous a job given all that I've experienced .
Anyone who knows me, will also understand that I am succession planning too. Dorothy is only 3 years old whereas Winnie is at least 10, perhaps more......Winnie is on borrowed time and I need to set up the doggy 'racegoers' so that the matriarch bulldog baton can be passed on.

So there you have it ....most of my news in a nutshell.
I am cultivating old and new friends in between shifts and am even saving up for a new carpet without going overdrawn...
I have to be careful with my money now.....

I am allowing myself to re enter the village social envelope again too....and as Chic Eleanor would say
" My Darling John......how absolutely wonderful" 

Laugh

A patient said to me this afternoon
"I just want to fucking laugh at something" 
We get on, and I think I'm on his wavelength
After a think I returned to his room and played for a minute on his iPad
" Watch this!" I told him

3 hours later I passed his room and I caught his eye , as he played with his kids. He raised a skinny hand and gave me a big thumbs up and a grin
This is what he watched

I was reminded of it last night as I chatted to a friend......it's priceless

Pong

I had a conversation with a friend the other day about aftershave
He regularly wears about 6 brands
Presumingly it depends on his mood just which one he picks I thought and
that seems all rather hard work to me,
But I guess my apathy really would surprise no one!
Given my odd sense of style.

I wear just one
Clinique Happy is my signature smell.....
It's a bright wiff.....well suited to my personality
Happy more than sexy me thinks
I was sat in handover at the hospice the other morning and one of the nurses exclaimed
Who smells bloody gorgeous ?
I put my hand up......women seem to like my aftershave
I've not really  tried it on men yet!

I like a man to smell of soap and water
That's a result of working alongside too many doctors and male nurses!
Oh and one sexy, upclose and personal memory of a clean smelling policeman who had just come on duty in 1988!

What's your smell?

I Love You More Than I can Say

When did you last say " I love you" to someone ?