Going Gently

ENO

The dog walker arrived yesterday morning for our" mutual" interview
He is a big bearded hunk who sports a figure hugging polo shirt with the logo of Welsh terrier type on it....
So it was thumbs up from me from the get go!
Unfortunately he's straight, but that meant nothing to Winnie and Mary who promptly fell in love with him and his loud manly ways .
" Just show Winnie the door and she will amble out for a pee!" I instructed Mr Big Beard
and he boomed a laugh that shook the windows
" Oh I may even take her for a one on one walk..just the two of us ! " he flirted kneeling the bulldog's arse with his knuckles
Winnie fell for it hook line and sinker and threw him a toothy smile and a kiss.
It hurts when your kids swap allegiances at the drop of a hat.

So yesterday after Mr Big Beard sadly left. I took the dogs to the vets for their boosters where the lovely Spanish vet " You love Sitges! I love Sitges.....the WORLD loves Sitges!!" gave Winnie a thorough physical
" She iz one Strong ladyz!" the vet said " She az the 'art of a lion"

The bank holiday weekend is getting on my tits somewhat, as I had forgotten it was upon me, but recalling the words of my Friend and fellow Miranda fan, Nigel who always told me to have an " ENO PLAN " in place , I checked my calendar

Now for those that don't know an ENO plan is what is termed in the trade an EMERGENCY NIGHT OUT plan....ENOs are vital strategies for singletons who don't want to be boxed in, on a weekend with nothing to do. They should be booked weeks if not months in advance, should be inexpensive
wherever possible cheap and clearly documented
Of course it is your responsibility to check when these little nuggets of social interaction are to take place, but generally it is important to book them on a weekend when everyone else will be doing couple things!
I looked at my calendar yesterday!
For today it was scribbled outdoor cinema Chester8pm Greta
Happy days....
The Chester Storyhouse has organised several outdoor showings of favourite movies in the Roman Gardens which is a picturesque strip of park right in the centre of the city. Pretty Woman, Mary Poppins, 1980s favourites such as Dirty Dancing and Jurassic Park are to name but a few and I bought tickets to see A Star Is Born for tonight for me and a friend .
The friend can come and all I need now is some cheap beach chairs and a picnic box!

My Wife Thinks Your Dead

I heard this on the radio on the way home tonight

The Joy Of A One Word Answer!

" My" nephew Leo has Aspergers
We communicate by text, which can be hard sometimes as the interaction is factual, short, precise and to the point.
Everything I am not.
I value these little bursts of words
Last week came the enigmatic sentence "Do you watch Arrow?"
I scratched my head, but worked out quicksticks that it was some sort of superhero tv show
"It's very good!" Came the back up comment....
End of interaction.
I've become to enjoy the contact and now see it for what it is.
I miss him.

It's bank holiday weekend and I've organised sod all.
I need to save money as I now have to pay for a dog walker up to three days a week and the prospective walker is due to come around to interview me .
They are flexible enough to give Mary a proper midday walk during my three weekly 12 hour shifts and seem bolshy enough to be able to order Winnie off the couch and into the back garden for a wazz when she doesn't really want to go
But they don't come cheap .
The joys of single living!

Winnie is presently doing her Jewish Momma guilt thing after watching me shampoo the front room carpets after her middle of the night pee accident.
I have not said a word to her, knowing fully that her own guilt at the situation is penance enough.
For the last hour she has sat uncomfortably next to the kitchen fridge with her head pointing to the wall.
This guilt pose will last , at least another hour or more and when I emptied the fetid brown contents of the shampooer down the kitchen sink. She let out an audible, self flagellating sigh!

It looks like a hot day again. Yesterday I cleared mountains of 'going over' buddliea and pruned the bushes hard.
It was smelly, sweaty work and all I craved was sitting in some shady city cafe with a flat white and the papers.
I will do that next weekend in Liverpool. I'm meeting my friend Simon for lunch there.
The city is not renown for its beauty , but my friend has captured some of its more impressive elements

It's 10.45 am and the dog sitter is due shortly....Winnie has stopped sulking in the kitchen but has now flounced onto the sofa like Scarlett O'Hara.

I wonder if he knows what he is letting himself into

Hey ho

Sue

1991 ish

Lodge Moor Hospital Spinal Unit

Sheffield

Patients were referred to our unit from as far as Suffolk and Norfolk in the East, Nottingham and Derbyshire in the South and parts of Manchester in the West.

Seldom did we have a native Sheffielder admitted.

The tiny hospital, perched precariously at the end of a main road on the edge of the Derbyshire moors would become " home" for dozens of young men and women for sometimes well over a year.

Men and women paralysed after some unexpected trauma.

Their lives changed forever in what was often described as a blinking Of an eye.

Each patient would be admitted to the acute injury ward initially and would be allocated two trained nurses who would coordinate their care

Sue was admitted following a car accident in Manchester and my friend Ruth and I were asked to be her primary nurses

From the get go, Sue was a challenge.

Born into a tough working class family who were tight lipped and insular in adversity she spent much of her early days at the unit with her back to the world.

She had a potty mouth and a sharp tongue, and was quick enough to pick up any inconsistencies that she came across in her care. She was placed on bed rest for 12 weeks, so that her thoracic vertebrae would strengthen enough for her to be mobilised into a wheelchair. Then her rehabilitation would start in earnest .

Our job, as nurses , was to prepare her for massive change in her life and her circumstances.

Ruth and I worked well together . We used humour and warmth and banter to our advantage and we spent a great deal of time getting the patients to trust us, a challenge with patients like Sue who cocooned herself with a tough veneer of foul mouthed protection .

It was Ruth that finally broke through that shell, for after an insightful epiphany one day, she sat down at Sue's bedside and quietly asked if she was gay.

The floodgates opened and Sue cried and cried and cried, for a whole afternoon.

With Ruth protectively at her side.

Coming out as gay, can for many people be a liberating and often cathartic experience, and in Sue's case this relief of releasing years of shame and pain was compounded by the grief of her paralysis.

And the emotion was huge and all encompassing.

Ruth soaked it up as we had been trained to do.

And eventually Sue moved slowly forward.

Not only did she come out to her family. ( A family that took the news without batting so much as an eyelid) she allowed us to prepare her for her journey of rehabilitation.

Ruth and I taught her how to manage her uncoordinated bladder and bowels.

We taught her to balance and we got her up to her wheelchair amid tears and much swearing

And we watched and supported her as she started to pick up the reins of her life again.

I often compared spinal Injury nursing with primary school. The patients start as many children do. Unconfident, clingy, uninformed and ripe for education and through the process of school graduate to bigger and better things.

Sue , followed that path and was transferred to the rehabilitation ward where new nurses took over her care.

But Ruth and I never really let go of her. We took her to the Ledmill with the other male patients and got her sloshed on cheap lager. We celebrated her birthday when's her massive family turned up from across the Pennines and we met her girlfriend when she felt comfortable enough to introduce her.

I can't really remember the details of what happened next, but I do remember the nurse from the rehab ward ringing me at home to tell me that something dreadful had happened and that Sue had collapsed on the ward after feeling unwell for a few days .

She had been taken to Sheffield's main hospital into Intensive Care.

I picked Ruth up from home and without thinking drove to The Northern General Hospital across the city

" Are you family ? " The intensive care Nurse asked us with a quizzical face

" No we are her nurses ?" Ruth said breathlessly

And we were shown into the room where Sue had just died.

I like to think that our presence helped Sue's family just a little more .

They were moved to see us there.

The intensive care nurses even asked us if we wanted to perform the last offices which was kind.

We didn't.

And I remember Ruth and I walking out of the hospital in the wee small hours feeling exhausted and unreal

And I remember too that we were holding hands.

The Bum Deal

I went to the Storyhouse in Chester to see the 1974 Spanish/ Italian Zombie movie The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue tonight
I should have known where the " special showing" was going when the two geeky looking middle aged men in front of me started a rather long debate about the Daleks in Dr Who before the screening started .
" I've seen that episode 50 times!!" I heard one chap say and I believed him
I walked out after thirty minutes of bad dubbing and felt awful as the organiser chased me and asked me if everything was ok.
" It's not the film it's me !" I told him as I left....I wanted to be kind

I video messaged a friend on the way home to have a moan , he was watching Guardians of the Galaxy in bed
I think he had the best deal

Foolish

I'm in the process of sorting my life insurance out and foolishly put my details into one of those " we'll do everything for you" kind of websites this morning.

My mobile has been ringing out of it's tiny mind since.

I've rejected all of the calls so far as I am still drinking my bucket of coffee for the day sat at the kitchen table underneath a mound of paperwork, but they keep on coming!

Finally, only a few minutes ago I answered the call!

I was all breathless and pretended to sound upset!

Meryl Streep couldn't have given a better performance

" Can you PLEASE stop calling my phone" I gasped....."I am presently lying face down and in a great deal of pain at the outpatients of my local hospital .

I am having my haemorrhoids lanced and my doctor has requested I lie very still

Thank you"

That will make for a bit of amused gossip around the Basingstoke call centre

Thank You

Tarantino's ok and overlong movie

DeCaprio was very good though

John Going Gently9:21 pm

It's been another hard day.
2 hours in the building society and everything IS going forward as planned I will have wait a bit longer to get everything signed and sealed but the mortgage has been agreed.
It's a sobering thought that when I was single in 2000 I had a large Victorian house and a mortgage of 30 grand
Now I am single in 2019 I have a cottage and a mortgage of three times + that figure!
Everyone involved seemed impatient with the whole process which didn't help
And afterwards I did what I do when real life gets a bit knotty

I went to the cinema

Thank you all for your concern xxx

Help

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Choir practice was a bit tougher than usual last night
Jamie ( sans his RAF 1940s moustache ) had us all grappling with The Beatles' hit HELP last night, which was somewhat of a challenge to most of us
It's such an upbeat song with a knotty downbeat message which I never realised before and halfway through our singing our oldest choir member , a retired Professor , gave us all an impromptu lecture of just how the song discusses the worries of aging.
" Research has proved that friendships in older people maintain independence " she told us at the end of her speech and the choir gave her a respectful round of applause before she sat down.

I feel a bit sick this morning
In an hour or so I am going to see the building society about my application for the cottage mortgage and I feel churned and out of sorts because of it all. Yesterday I went into the hospice and realised that the staff now know who my soon to be ex husband is. He had dealings with some of the academic life of the unit and in interview I was careful not to mention who he was.
Such gossip is perfectly normal I guess, but coupled with my worry about today, it wrong footed me slightly.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

First Aid

Around 4pm there was a sharp knocking at the lane window
It was Trendy Carol ( white blouse, natty informal skirt) who was all a bit breathless
Villager Susan had had a fall down the lane and could I come
" She's cut her arm rather badly" Carol reported before we turned the corner.

Susan was sat on the lane by Sailor John's house and looked rather shocked. Several people had already stopped to help.
There is a rule of thumb with any first aid " assessment"
Is the casulty conscious and rational?
Have they got pain?
and can they move normally?
Susan was apologetic, and had obviously banged her arm and shoulder. Her arm wound was bloody but superficial which I told her and she could wiggle her toes nicely.
People that potentially have fractured their hip can invariably not move at all and often have a shortened and rotated leg on the side of the fracture.
Susan's legs were fine.
I wrapped a tea towel around her arm and allowed her shock to dissipate and then
Carol and I stood her up when she was ready.

Over the years I, like most people, have been involved in scores of such situations. As a student nurse , I was always told to walk away from any incident if there was someone else who has taken charge but that takes a strong will as nurses have an ingrained pressure to go and help.

I once saw a small crowd gathered around a large figure of a woman who was lying on the pavement outside Sheffield's City Hall. Several people were trying to take charge of the situation including a loud middle aged man who kept shouting " Rip her bra off!" somewhat unhelpfully.
Luckily the other bystander who had just started to administer CPR was stopped from continuing by the patient herself, as she let out a very loud "Get offfffffff" to all and sundry.

Thank goodness we don't really have to administer mouth to mouth anymore.
Ive done that several times in the past and I can tell you now that the casualties have never looked like Russell Crowe with breath as sweet as a nut.
I once had someone vomit directly into my mouth at an arrest situation in York and gratefully accepted the offer of a mouth wash gargle from a local sporting a bottle of Brandy!

Situations like the ones I describe, bring the selfless and the kindness out of people so very much.
Of course there is always a few people that walk on by but in the main, innate human concern and genuine selflessness take over .
A connection between humans I guess.

I remember, as a ward manager accepting an elderly spinal injury patient from our own hospital's
A&E dept. Getting a patient from our own hospital was a rarity, and the patent , who was in his
80s , had suffered a catastrophic paralysing neck injury following a fall in the street.
After several hours in the emergency department , the patient arrived, confused and incredibly poorly and I asked his daughter who accompanied him to wait in my office until we nurses took time to transfer him safely.
I noted his daughter had a large shopping bag filled with food.

The daughter wasn't a daughter.
She was just a passing shopper who had witnessed the man's fall some six hours earlier
She had sat with him as he lay paralysed in the street.
She had sat with him in the ambulance and in A&E
And she had accompanied him to the ward where he would eventually die of his injuries an hour after arriving .
The elderly man had no family and no next of kin
And that Stranger, a regular Yorkshire housewife, who had been out shopping for her family, sat with him and kept him company until the very end.
Now that's class....

Conversation

Dan. " Are you free for a coffee?"
John. " When are you thinking of?"
Dan. " Are you free now?"
John. " I can't now, I'm heating fish and chips in the oven and Mary's been stung in the gob by a wasp!"
Dan. " Poor Mary.......Fish and chips? It's only 9.30 am....?"
John. " It's for Trevor...he's got a frozen shoulder and hasn't eaten anything for 24 hours"
Dan. " who is Trevor?"
John. " My 95 year old neighbour"
Dan. " Fish and chips for breakfast that's a bit wacky"
John. " It's what he fancied"
Dan. " Where did you get fish and chips on a Monday morning?"
John. " Sainsbury's"
Dan. " With mushy peas?"
John. " No regular peas!"
Dan. " How awful!"

Observations

The hypericum flowers in the hedge of Della's bungalow have now died back and the vibrant yellow hedge that lit up the village like a torch has now gone leaving dirty mounds of brown petals on the pavement.
It's a sign we are slowly heading for Autumn
A real breeze is getting up and though the open windows the cackling of crows can be heard as they surf the wind above the trees in the graveyard.
The cockerels are quiet today, and I had to smile as twice yesterday a villager sought me out to say they were bothered by their crowing.
I'm getting better at deflecting moans and gripes than I was
I just smiled and said "You'll have to shoot them !" before moving on.

My Eagle carving by Colin Endres won second place at the show which was nice. Colin died a little while ago and to my knowledge never entered the show when he was alive.
I rested his certificate at the eagle's feet.
Winnie farted from her place on the couch.

Mary and I have already been for a walk and early Sunday morning the village is always deserted, like a film set .Winnie doesn't come for a village walk anymore as her bulldog years have caught up with her somewhat. She sleeps the sleep of an old dog
One eye open, not against danger
but just in case she misses a cocktail sausage
She knows there is a small supply in the fridge!
I'm prepared for the enevitable now, it doesn't hold that cold shape fear for me anymore as it once did
The old vanguard making away for the new .....
The way of the world eh.....in so many ways.

I've hated Sundays over the past year.
Horrid, empty days
But today I have a lunch date at the Black Lion at the mouthful Llanfair Talhaiarn with a old work friend, then I am training at Samaritans before catching up with Gorgous Dave, who is babysitting his kids later.
Being a single parent can be just as isolating as being a single middle aged old pongo!

Presently it's a bucket of coffee and The Archers

There is some talk of an Under Milk Wood night at the Hall.
With readings and reminiscences
I told Mrs Trellis yesterday as she sipped her tea primly at the Show.
She didn't seem overly impressed, I think she was miffed that she had reached the event late

Flower Show

Terry unhappy at our draw

Terry beat me in the biscuits and I won the quiche , so it was a wash given our eggs and boiled fruit cakes were not placed.

We have sworn that next year we will fight to the death in the cookery section.

I have to add here that Terry is not my new boyfriend ( I have just been asked on messenger by an excited blog reader if he is! )

Wendy from round the corner won the cup...she can bake with one hand tied behind her back.

The Ressurected flower show has gone very well. Now Obviously, because of a hiatus of two years, the number of exhibits were lower than they were in our day, but the Show was impressive given that and the fact that a new less experienced committee was at the reins.

I really enjoyed entering...and actually won a cup for my vase of garden flowers!!!

I saw lots of people I haven't seen in a while,....I was especially moved when villager Alan W shook my hand and with much emotion told me that he was pleased that I was staying in the village
" you are well loved here" he told me over my boiled egg exhibit
And I believed him

The domestic classes

My garden flowers

The Women's Institute provided the refreshments!

Flower Show Eve

The kitchen looks like the Wreck Of The Hesperus
I've been busy preparing my entries in support of the new Flower Show.

I've made a couple of novelty animals out of veg and fruit, baked buiscuits and a fruit cake and am presently waiting for my Quiche Lorraine to fly free of the oven. I will boil my egg entries and pick my flower entries tomorrow.
Tonight I'll pop up to the Hall to arrange my " art" entries.

Mary and I called up to the hall to see how the preparations were going, and everything looked calm and sorted . I am intrigued to see how many entries come in.

A " Tough" Crowd.

I'm behind Jamie, doing bunny ears!

One table in our audience tonight proved to be , what is said to be in the trade, as a challenge!!!
It was the top right hand table , where all of the ladies ate their crackers and cheese without looking up!
Not once , during out first set!
That takes some doing when you are belting out You Raise me up at full effin pelt I can tell you!!
The rest of the lady golfers of Meliden seemed appreciative enough , well
all expect one old dear who looked semi conscious on the front row, but Jamie , as always, was his usual 1940s avuncular self and we all sang and enjoyed the night because we all love to please him and we all love the songs we sing.....
Btw, gentleman farmer, Peter, never commented on my new Sainsbury's trousers and lovely mustard coloured new top!
Hey ho
I've got to try a little harder

Sizing Up A Satsuma

I'm double booked.
I've got baking to do for the flower show which coincides with lunch with gay friend
I differentiate his sexuality only because I need to whip my sass up in readiness for meeting
He has more one liners than the indomitable Tallulah
And so the Boiled fruit cake, quiche and novelty animal made from a butternut squash can wait until
tomorrow!
At least I've done the shopping in readiness. When I was sizing up the satsumas in Sainsbury's yesterday ( large ones can be fashioned into a passable snail btw!) I had an eye flirt with a man who was fumbling through the organic carrots. He is a nurse in A&E and I once took a patient from him in ITU who was very poorly many moons ago.....I remember he was cute but very stressed.
I doubt he remembered me , but he smiled, which was nice.

Miss Bankhead says

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.

Tallulah Bankhead

In my lifetime I've been to bed with men, women, and odd pieces of furniture.

Tallulah Bankhead

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Tallulah Bankhead

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.

Tallulah Bankhead

I'm not childless, darling. I am childfree.

Tallulah Bankhead

I've had a man and I've had a woman, and there's got to be something better.

Tallulah Bankhead

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

Tallulah Bankhead

Thought For The Day

thought for the day

''... all my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.''

Pants and a Top

" You'll need a pair of black trousers and a plain coloured shirt"
So instructed 1940s RAF moustached Jamie as we finished choir practice tonight
We are giving a mini concert on Thursday and are performing ten songs and a fanale piece given the hopefully rapturous applause from the Melyd Golf Club Regulars!
Jamie wants us to look the part!
" I don't know if I have a plain shirt!" I whispered to Peter, my fellow bass and renowned gentleman farmer
He rolled his eyes
" A man should be prepared for every eventuality !" He said evenly in his cut glass accent
" I'll pop down to TK MAXX tomorrow!" I told him, " I'll get something very cheap!"
" Oh how lovely !" he said

This is one of the songs we will be singing

Paper Work

Yesterday I almost went stir crazy.
It was an odd day for so many reasons
I earmarked myself the whole day to transfer all of the joint account direct debits to my personal account but what with the different tariffs, " easy" on line ways of doing things, the occasional threat to a call centre to cancel my accounts and a marathon change of details with the delightful Vikram in an Indian BT call centre , it took much longer than I expected
I have now finally sorted every account, every debit, and every change of name, 24 hours later
I was on the phone so long with Vikram that I feel that I need to send him a Christmas card.
Such is modern life.

A friend broke my rhythm. They were tearful and needed some time , so I took them to the cafe Mary and I go to in Colwyn Bay were we had buckets of coffee and the thickest buttered toast this side of the English border.
Thick buttered toast always makes things better

My work contract came yesterday too. I made an appointment to sort the mortgage out.
Trendy carol ( wearing light summer linen) called round with a basket of plums
I spoke to Nu and Nigel on the phone, wrote the blog and started work scrubbing the patio and Dead heading the potted flowers

One outstanding problem with the council tax was sorted this morning. The council clerk was chirpy
And rather sweet.

I had a dream early this morning too
It was one of those I'm having another ten minutes in bed dreams that ar so vivid that they hurt your chest when you eventually wake up.
I was around seven years old and I was dancing with my grandmother
It was a fast sort of waltz and she was wearing her cheap blue everyday dress that smelled of cold cream. Her ham sized arms dwarfed my own
We were in her neat back garden on the lawn
I was looking at my 1960s sandled feet and skinny knees
And I felt loved

Wall

Ive been asked ( by two readers) to explain the "art" wall in the kitchen

It grew as a result of my hubby taking the original art with him when he went ( a lovely limited print of a fox running towards a Welsh country Church) .

I wanted to fill the void