First Sentence Of The Day

On Hart to Hart, the glamorous Jennifer Hart would slink out of bed with her big hair, beautiful make up and chic silk nightie and would turn to her equally well presented husband  Jonathan with a purring
""Hello darling.....did you sleep well?" 
In Dynasty, Krystal and Blake would simper at each other in soft  focus over a boiled egg in bed, their  pyjamas neatly ironed like their hair
And in the same vein in The Archers, I am sure I have heard farmerboy Adam Macey plant a playful kiss on husband's Ian Craig's forehead before clambering out of their designer bed  and up into his combine for a day of lusty estate work ( that is before his discressions with Parvel and Charlie were made public in open court!) 

What was it like at first light in Bwthyn -y-llan I hear you all ask? 

What was the moving and touching repartee between myself and The Prof? as George barfed on the bedroom floor and as Winnie snored herself stupid from the living room arm chair.

The Prof " MOR-NING!!!!! Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Me ( stalking to the loo in a hurry in my underpants with the baggy legs ) " I'M NOT HAVING THAT CREAMED SPINACH AGAIN, IT's GIVEN ME THE SHITS,!" 

The Apple Tree

I was busy cleaning carpets yesterday, so , at first, didn't hear the mechanical digger doing it's stuff on the plot of land beyond the bottom of our garden.
I was only aware of things after two Jehovah Witnesses waved at me through the cottage window. They seem to decend on the village in groups from time to time, but never really stay long here after I remind them I am a married gay man.
" Would You happily support gay marriage in your church? " I always ask them, it's a question I've never got a straight answer to, even though all they manage to answer is the willing offer to talk to me.
Anyhow, as usual, I digress.
Behind our cottage garden is a small square of land . Years ago used to be part of the small holding and furnished a small orchard, vegetable beds and flower borders, but in times gone by the plot , which was owned by the nephews of a former owner of Bwthyn -y-llan , had been left untouched and unloved.
Now we all knew that the nephews want to sell the land as a single bungalow building plot, so it was only a matter of time when they wanted it cleared in order to move it on, but ever since we came to the village, eleven years ago, I have used the wilderness as my own private secret garden.

Anyhow like I said, as  I was busy dispatching the Jehovahs, I heard the rumble of the digger, and walked up the lane to the old garden . Most of the land had already been cleared. The old shed, full of old potting up equipment and dusty old garden tools had been flattened, the massive honeysuckle which bordered it cleared and the flower beds crammed with daffodil bulbs dug up and scattered amongst untidy lumps of soil.

The man operating the digger stopped and called over to me. He was a contracted workman and understood the surprise of the neighbours , several of whom had already stopped him to see what was going on.
He asked me if there was anything I wanted him not to touch, presumably the shrubs that bordered our small driveway, but I noticed a single apple tree still standing in the centre of the plot heavy with apples.
" Can you leave the tree a while longer?" I asked
" I'll see what I can do" he said with a friendly smile

The apple tree

Later I walked over to the cleared garden,  and I noticed that the three bachelor bantams, had wandered up from the Ukrainian Village to see what had been going on . I scooped all three up from the side of the lane to keep them out of the way of the farm tractors.
The old garden looked dreadful, but the workman had been true to his word
The apple tree was the only thing left standing .

The bantam batchelors 

Sisters

In the village we have perhaps thirty or so social housing bungalows.
Most are occupied by older people who have lived in the local area for most of their lives.
Two bungalows are occupied by two sisters, both in their late seventies. If you crane your head from ones front door you can almost see the other.
Neither sister is on speaking terms with the other.
I noticed this when I spied that one sister drove  past the other who was standing at the bus stop one day. There was not so much as a flicker of acknowledgement from either.
Their coldness intrigued me.
I have spoken to both, in passing.
One is warm and generous and rather sweet natured socially the other slightly prickly, bitter and sour.
And apart from being physically very similar the two women could be more different.

I am lucky, I have never fallen out with any family member on a scale remotely similar to these two sisters. I could not envisage it,but I know it happens...look at Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine,
They seldom spoke for 70 years.

A Visit ( update)

I am off to see Auntie Glad today, then I am working an  overtime night shift

Thought I would leave you this video to discuss 

Lovely as it is strangely moving

Enjoy! 

X

Postscript

Gladys was sat in the day room in a neat maroon dress.
Beads around her neck.
She was sat next to a silent yet cheerful looking woman with leg ulcers
and wasn't sure who I was until I said " it's Flower Show John! "
Only then did she clap her hands and then held onto mine without letting go.

The food was lovely, she reported, and she had seen her niece and Christine from the village. so wasn't short of visitors. She also made herself useful and had " done some washing up"

I told her that we needed to organise a flower show meeting in order to distribute funds around the village and she seemed happy that we intend to give the Church monies for new linens.
(There is no rush but I think we will try to have the meeting in the nursing home itself, for they seem a friendly bunch and holistic care seems one of their buzz words)

She asked about the Prof,  and about Derek and Heulwen from the Flower Show..oh and did the vicar know that she wasn't around for Church? I had to raise my voice so she could hear what I was saying, and I woke a gentleman sat opposite who gave me a dirty look.

I noticed that the panes of glass in the partition to the dining room were covered in a mass finger marks from slightly confused hands.

" Is my house alright?" She asked, just before I was about to go
" It's fine and neat and tidy as it always is" I told her.
" That's Good" she said with a smile.

More Workmen

The workmen arrived promptly at 8am.
Mrs Frazer saw their van parked in the field gateway and raised her eyebrows again!
" More work? They MUST have come into money" She thought.
The two cheerful workmen who looked 18 and 12 respectively got on with the work in hand with some gusto and were watched happily by Winnie who enjoyed giving their tool boxes the once over with solemn eyes  . ( no euphemism was intended btw)
She finally had to be removed from the proceedings when she found a kitkat shoved down by the wrenches and became all unnecessary over it and even then she wasn't happy until one of the boys had given her a kiss goodbye.
Upset at her re location, she has spent the rest of the morning alone.....doing a perfect imitation of a Russian Babushka

Speaking of Russian Babushkas , I spied Gaynor the mad organist outside the church. She was in fine fettle and had been busy appropriating flowers from Animal helper Pat's garden for her flower arrangement class.
I presume Pat knew she's been running amok with her  secateurs

Smile

Thank you to my Sheffield friend Jane

This brightened my aforementioned shitty day

Out With Anger........In With Love

" arrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Real life....shitty, normal, irritating 21st century fucking life.....it doesn't half get on your tits!"
Most of the morning I have been moping up a constant flood of water from our log burner back boiler.
Apparently there is no fullproof way of sorting the problem by a flick of a switch so the system will need draining and " plugging" .......ooohhhh errrrrr missus ! And that can only be done in the morning! Thank goodness for a geeky manager of a local heating company who sorted the problem out withing seconds over the phone, I could have kissed him.
In the meantime......" Man the pumps Ishmail! "
That's only taken me 5 hours......now I am waiting for BRITISH telicom to call me from India. Our Broadband is on the blink AND THERE IS AN HOUR's WAITING TIME TO BE HEARD! 
The Prof had a shouting match with someone on Saturday which ended in the phrase
" I understand that the wire set up is complicated ...I do have a PhD "
Hence today, I am doing the talking.
Earlier today, in between wringing out towels and hanging on the phone, I took the dogs out for a pee and noticed that British Telicom was working in a hole on the main road.
I asked them if there was a local broadband problem
" Dunno mate" was the reply
" Great! a  neanderthal  in a hard hat" I muttered
The neanderthal scratched his head.

I'm still waiting for a call back!

In the meantime , this afternoon, William, fed up with waiting for a walk, has backed his arse up to the new fridge and  has pebble- dashed the outside of it.

Train to Busan

Prof is still unwell

I watched this Cracking Korean zombie movie on youtube this evening

just before it was deleted

8/10

Great fun