Patterns

 “John does find positive comments difficult to hear and has a tendency to be more comfortable with negative feedback, this continues to be work in progress for him.”

I am reflecting on this sentence. Just one from an excellent three page report from my supervisor , she’s perfectly right, that this continues to be a work in progress for me.

My 1970s childhood was devoid of parental praise and that’s why it feels awkward when I’m praised by authority figures. I’ve always understood that dynamic it’s the go to dynamic of me returning to negative praise that’s I’ve now understood more and more, even I though I’m a man rapidly approaching his 63rd birthday 

Stopping yourself returning to what you know ( but also what you despise ) can be difficult but it’s perfectly doable with practice. 

I’ve reread my supervisor’s report and have accepted the positives therein  

Hey ho

It’s my birthday on Sunday ( Janet’s too) I think her birthday gift will feature another London trip or somewhere further afield .

Mary is back home, where she should be, Trendy Carol and her hubby, loved having her, I have a sneaky idea that they would love to adopt her

But she’s home Roger watching her carefully

Garden

As requested a video of the garden

Everything is incredibly dry

A Good Day

 

Sometimes you make your own good day

Other times it’s made for you.

Today has been a bit of both.

I got up early, and amongst jobs cut roses and honeysuckle and euphorbia from the garden  and put them in a gaudy Welsh jug that was doing nothing.

Roger and I went for a sausage breakfast on Colwyn Bay Promenade then went to the hospice to retrieve my emails as he tottered around the staff, bumming treats.

At midday I met up with some of the hospice staff for lunch and a haircut and a gossip . 

They are a nice bunch, and I could feel their good ( and very black) humour lift my psychi

This evening it’s two video calls with friends in Manchester and Sheffield

It’s been a perfect day

Quite lovely 

Pottering

 Im sat in the forcourt of a busy garage and shop in St Asaph waiting to meet with my counsellor and her hubby who have my final report documentation for university. 

Im feeling a bit like an over the hill drug dealer but they dont, im sure, eat McDonald's porridge with a cardboard spoon when waiting to meet

Ive bought her a pretty yellow lilly as a thank you. 

Today has a flower theme as im delivering flower show programmes with Randy Roger in tow. Mary is resting under the gentle eye of Trendy Carol's hubby, a man who will spoil her rotton.

Ive had a long chat with my boss at work yesterday and have we have agreed to a phased return starting next Friday. This means I will effectively work one shift and two study day shifts in three weeks, enough time to see how I feel and more space to review my options.

My supervisor reflected that its been an awful year for me so far, which I disagreed with. I do however think that it is a pivotal one where work and choices are concerned

This weekend will be useful to contemplate my options

Hormones and laburnum

 

My laburnum is so in flower it can be seen from space….

Well that’s a lie, but it can be seen from the lane window

Which pleases me.

Roger has been affected badly from Mary’s “ final” and sudden being in season…it has now necessitated Mary’s  immediate relocation to Trendy Carol’s house. Roger has now humped three cushions , my stuffed chameleon , Mrs Trellis’s red felt lobster and has attempted to mount Weaver with disastrous results 

Oh lord 

Help us 

Where Does the Time Go?

On Wednesday it was Nu’s birthday 

My touchstone , my friend , my bestie

Seeing Julia Fordham singing at the Royal Opera House last night reminded me of my salad days with Nu

When 1990 revolved around being a student, The Ledmill, too much alcohol and laughing

Where does the time go? 

Was the soundtrack of our friendship in an rapidly evolving Sheffield 

Tomorrow  she travels by train in Norway, what fun!

I see her , on average three times a year 

And she’s as necessary to me as oxygen 

Ballet to Broadway

 

The glorious An American in Paris ballet

Late home 

My friend Wendy ( who is a warm , funny woman who laughs easily) invited me to a live showing of Christopher Wheeldon ‘s “ Ballet to Broadway “ from the Royal Opera House tonight

4 very separate dance pieces one set to the songs of Joni Mitchell  ( sung by the glorious Julia Fordham )below

 An unexpected gem 

The Flower Show

 I’m a judge short.

Meirion of the lovely garden on Maes Offa cannot judge the flower section this year, which is a blow. 

I’m presently in negotiation  with a local potter to be our arts judge and I’m going around to see Animal Helper Pat, who is a wonderful gardener to step in with the flowers. 

It will get sorted. 

Trendy Carol ( looking svelte in bright summer colours) has just passed and the village feels out and about in the warm sunny month that we’ve had. Affable despot Jason has taken over one of the allotments in Bonc Terrace, and someone new has bought Trefor’s old bungalow on the corner.

No one knows who the newbies are