Going Gently

Like A Duck On A Pond

I think I understand how modern parents feel sometimes.
Its a balls in the air kind of phenomenon where on the surface the duck looks serene and in control and under the surface the webbed feet are going like the clappers.
The Prof has his own balls-in-the-air and so has no idea of the joys of animal parenthood and so the organisational nightmare of sorting a few days away is somewhat lost on him.
The Welsh Terriers have to be booked and taken into kennels (with all shots up to date) Winnie has to taken to my friend Greta's ( bulldogs being Diva dogs don't cope well with kennel incarceration) and George being the old boy has to be taken to my sister for some pampering.
Gifts have to be sorted for the dog sitters and for Animal-helper Pat who has to be asked to come to kindly feed Albert. And some grovelling is the order of the day for one of the neighbours to look after The Bachelors for the duration.
Only after this is done can The Prof and I can go off and over the Welsh Border.
At Christmas I treated The Prof to tickets to see Giselle at The Royal Opera House.and its almost time for us to go
It's only an overnight jaunt to London but its a night to be suited and booted and child free !
So I am so happy at finding a responsible house sitter for the night in the shape of Cameron the teenage boffin.
Cameron is now eighteen going on 40. I have instructed him to eat and drink what he likes and at his insistence he is calling down to go over instructions for his stay.

gulp!

What's The Bleeding Time?

In my 35 year nursing career I must have worked with hundreds of doctors .
The majority have been a joy to work with, but some, like anyone else you have to rub along with in the workplace have been absolute shockers.
When I was a student nurse I withnessed a renowned neurosurgeon have a temper tantrum in theatre. He screamed into the face of a scrub nurse and actually threw a tray of surgical instruments onto the floor, behaviour that was not challenged at the time due to the pure shock and passive acceptance by the staff.
I would like to think that such godlike diva behaviour by such autocrats is a thing of the past, nurses generally are more assertive where medical bullying is concerned.

Yesterday I gave a villager some advice about how to get the best out of their family doctor, who they thought had rudely dismissed a problem they felt they had.
My advice ? Remember your doctor is not god. Write your questions and statements down- it makes it easier to get your points over. Take in a friend or relative with you to act as your advocate or
Speak to a practice nurse.

Years ago I was acting as a chaperone to a consultant psychiatrist who was physically examining a middle aged female patient who had a "full figure" .
The doctor was showing off to me, his audience and took it on himself to point out various physical signs of long term alcohol abuse on the patient's body.
I felt uncomfortable on behalf of the patient as the references seemed inappropriate bordering on cruel but the woman looked nonplussed by the examination and even winked at me when the consultant pointed out a " scar" on the woman's abdomen exclaiming " what a neat looking appendix scar that is!"
Moments later , the patient leaned over and whispered to me with a grin " it's a line left by my tights!"

A Roaring Log Fire

Thanks to Athene and Rachel

Handy Hints work !
A winter's night...blowing and cold
And a lovely warm cottage with a clean window

handy Hints

Have you a handy hint to share? I promised one commentator ,last week, that I may call for suggestions...I suspect my readers may surprise us all with a few.
I love handy hints, the real ones and the false " funny " ones.
They all intrigue me and entertain me.
Today I followed the hint at hoovering the living room carpet with the upholstery attachment rather than with the regular brush roller attachment
And bingo !

Five minutes hoovering of a clean carpet!

Half a ton of shit !
Ok not entertaining but very effective!
So what are your handy hints?
They can be as practical as you like....or , like those in Viz, as wonderfully surreal! It's up to you

YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.

PHILANDERERS: Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife.

FOOTBALLERS: Remember there is plenty of time to get drunk after your playing career has ended.

HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

FEMALE shop assistants: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them s50 labour costs for the transaction.

SINGLE MEN: Fool folk into thinking you've got a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with loads of bags

Happy Days

Snowdrops in the Churchyard this morning

Apologies for the thumb

I nearly got my head kicked in this morning.
Not something you expect in a lane above the village at 10.30 on a Sunday morning.
Mary and I had stopped to say hello to Mrs Trellis and her greyhound Blue when a large black car, tinted windows and a throaty exhaust roared past us without slowing down.
The dogs jumped as we did, so I gave one of those very British open palmed shoulder shrugs and the car reached the top of the hill in front of us, in order to say " thanks for slowing down"
The car stopped for a long moment
And as Mrs Trellis gulped a large gorilla-sized man got out to stare at us.
" what are you effing looking at? " the gorilla bellowed furiously
" You didn't slow down and your exhaust scared the dogs!" I countered not unreasonably
" You were in the middle of the fucking road!" the man shouted waving his arms
There was no point arguing as patiently were couldn't have been in the middle of the lane as he had passed us easily.
Mrs Trellis' bobble hat twitched nervously
There was a stand off silence for a few moments as the aggrieved gorilla thought about what to do, and eventually he got into his car to drive off, only then did I conceded to myself that we were lucky. Luckily a silly stare could have landed me into hospital.
When I was on ITU I remember having a conversation with a police officer who told me that cocaine use was rife in North Wales. Cocaine, methamphetamine, amphetamine and steroids all stimulate the user into violent rages and aggression and they are drugs of choice by more people that I could shake a stick at. " Normal people like yourself have no idea just how common drug taking is " I remember the policeman saying " would you think of cocaine at breakfast time with your sugar puffs? They would " He added cheerfully
We have a brave new world.
I'm not saying that the gorilla in the lane had taken drugs...perhaps he had...whose to know.....more likely he was just an angry person upset that a middle aged dog walker had looked at him "in the wrong sort of way" a look which he had caught in his rear view mirror .

The Post

Worthy but not riveting
Interesting but not compelling
Hanks was good, Streep was better
I wouldn't watch it again

1989

Yesterday I took in a print of Broadstairs to be reframed for the Prof's office.
Tucked away behind the print was a large photograph taken in the late 1980s
It was a photograph of a groom and his best man each with each other's hats on.
Laurel and Hardy comes to mind.
I am Stan Laurel.
It was the only fun thing in that wedding as I recall.
The photo holds a great deal of memories for me. Many good -a few bittersweet
Bittersweet, as the photographer who snapped it ( who was also a close friend) was killed in a plane crash only a few months later!
And slightly bittersweet that my friend, the groom more or less lost touch with me over the years as some friendships envairably do
I sent him a copy of the above photo yesterday on Facebook and he replied to my message with a " bloody hell look at us !" Kind of way. The photo I am sure was bittersweet for him as well ,as his marriage failed not long after as we all knew it would.