The Nature Of The Beast

When I was a psychiatric nurse in training, one phrase was always drummed into us students when dealing with " difficult" patients
" Reject the a behaviour never the person"
Sometimes it's a difficult rule to follow.

Last night I worked a late shift at Samaritans. The late night/early morning stint is usually a busy one with the phones constantly ringing, call after call after call. It can be a challenging and rewarding shift , and it one that I prefer to work on given the fact I am mentoring two new volunteers who would gain invaluable experience with the different myriad of callers.

Recently The Samaritans have implemented a freephone number and subsequently there has been an increased demand for the service. Anecdotally, I have noticed an increase in " crank" calls getting through to volunteers with sex callers making up a significant proportion of these incoming calls.

Of course the intensive Samaritan training covers strategies for dealing with sex callers. The caller is not rejected but the behaviour is , and the Samaritan is trained to take charge of the call, firmly but kindly bringing the call to an end unless the challenge opens up another avenue of discussion.

However sometimes it is difficult to remain upbeat when time after time you have been asked to describe the colour of your pants , or to listen to a caller in the throws of masturbation, and it's a little heartbreaking to see the disappointment on the face of the new volunteers after another crank call blocks the lines, preventing a genuine caller from getting through to some help.

Last night, we must have received a dozen such calls, and I must admit, instead of the usual " I am ending this call" conclusion to one man who wanted me to listen to what he wanted to do to small girls , I asked him gently if he understood that he was blocking the line from callers who were in genuine distress.
Characteristically the line went dead.
And seconds late the same man, with the same story was talking to my colleague.

Such is the nature of the beast. 

Room

With the Prof away in London and needing a soft seat for my bleached bum, I took myself off to a very early one off showing of the movie Room 
It's a strangely powerful film to be sure.
Joy( Brie Lawson) and her five year old son Jack ( Jacob Tremblay) are imprisoned in a grubby single room by the mostly unseen character called old Nick. Jack was born in the room and understands only what his mother has taught him about the world. As their living conditions deteriorate, Joy hatches a plan for Jack to escape , a plan that finally liberates the both of them , and the story then explores how mother and son adjust to life in the " normal " world.
As a study of the power of the mother / child relationship Room excels wonderfully. Room also has a great deal to say about the fragility and the transient nature of childhood, as the more " plastic" and sponge like Jack adapts better to his bewildering new freedom than his fiesty but suddenly directionless Mother.
Brie Lawson and the tiny nine year old Tremblay are simply stunning in the lead roles, indeed they have to be as the whole of the first half of the movie is essentially a two hander between the two of them. Joan Allen pops up in a quietly effective turn as Joy's mother as does William H Macy as her father who cannot accept Jack's existence.
Room  is not an easy watch. But it's a worthy one.
8/10

Btw.....our zip wire experience ( booked for Saturday) has been cancelled due to the weather........
Me thinks that The Prof Is secretly pleased..

Shit!!!!!

Shit , I've just done it again

I've burnt my arse on the toilet

after bleaching the bowl this morning

( I have a fat arse so keep the seat up when I have to " sit" )
You don't need to know the details
Anyhow
It's taken a few hours to hit home....but

It's now itchy as hell!
Bugger!

Whore!

I'm such a whore.....
last night I posted an article on dog fencing, which was in fact a blatant advertisement of a potentially very useful product.
I was approached by the company who produces the fencing and asked if I could blog about it, and for my trouble , I would be rewarded by a small fee!
It all seems cosha but I couldn't help feeling all a bit uncomfortable about it all,
I know Going Gently is a collection of stories and thoughts and ideas ( mostly about something or nothing) but essentially all of those stories and thoughts and ideas are all mine and no one else's .
Publicising electric fencing, no matter how good it is , is not quite my raison d'etre.
All of a sudden I feel like Julia Roberts to Richard Gere's sidekick from Pretty Woman....having said this, I still published the advert with my empty hand outstretched, like I said , I'm a whore.

And so I now feel a need to steer Going Gently back to safe waters.....and those waters made me laugh right out loud this morning during a rather wet and cold rainstorm over a very miserable and soggy Trelawnyd.
It was around midday when I finished walking the generally bouncy and very damp terriers and so with a slightly heavy heart I entered the living room in search of Winnie.
Winnie hates morning walks . She particularly detests morning walks in rain, and will endeavour to blend chameleon like into the scatter cushions on the couch or arm chair in an effort not to be dragged outside, even though her bladder may be the size of the average watermelon.
That is the very reason, I now, no longer walk her with the others, they just cant stomach the palaver.
I called her and she kept her eyes very firmly shut. I knew she was awake and was just trying to ignore me , so I slapped her hard on the bottom and ordered her to get up
She opened one eye, with a look of " youuuuuu baasssstard " 
This is the game we play every single day.
More bottom slaps, calls and orders later Winnie finally will stand sulking at the back door. If it is dry and warm, she will put up with the following walk with bored alacrity but , if, like today, the weather is cold and particularly wet, she will always stand in the doorway with a look Bette Davis always  gave Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. 
It says " You've got to be fucking kidding!" 
Now even bulldogs need to go to the toilet , and understanding that the quicker she " goes" the quicker she can return to the warmth of the Prof's armchair makes Winnie , the Einstein of the cottage animals, for this lunchtime , she side swiped me with the lead in my hand, bounced up into the  garden and with superhuman effort promptly opened her bladder then bowels in the centre of the  gravel path.
She then whirled around with a triumphant look which simply said " Traaaadaaaaaaaaah" 
Then she trotted back through the rain , back through the kitchen and was up in her armchair with her eyes tightly shut before I had even got my coat off.

Ache

Is this just a product of being 53? 

Answers on a postcard x

Meg lost

Years ago I lost Meg on the main road......

See below..this is what I would use if I had a garden 

Should You Install a DIY Electric Fence for Your Dog?....this made me think cos of something that happened to Meg a few years ago.....she escaped from the garden and ended up a few inches from the main road at rush hour .
Welsh terriers have no road sense btw

Keeping your dog on your property is the best way to ensure their safety. If you have a large yard, your dog benefits from being able to run and roam around it to their heart’s content. In order to allow them this freedom with maximum safety measures in place, you need to fence in your yard with either a traditional fence or an electronic dog fence. If you opt to use an electronic containment system, a DIY electric fence is the least expensive way to do it - it can save you thousands of dollars as compared to a professionally installed fence (electronic or not). Before you purchase a system, however, here are some of the things to keep in mind. 

Is a DIY Electric Fence Right for Your Dog?

The convenience and unobtrusiveness of an electronic dog fence are some of its potential benefits, but its most important purpose is to keep your dog safe. As such, the first thing you must consider is whether or not an electric fence is right for your dog. Most dogs will do well with an electric fence, especially dogs who are already well-trained. Dogs who are determined escape artists, like those who enjoy digging underneath the fence, are particularly great candidates for the use of an underground dog fence, because it’s more effective at keeping them contained than a traditional fence. 

Some dogs, however, should not be trained with an electronic dog fence. If your dog is pregnant, younger than six-months-old, physically disabled, or chronically ill, it is not recommended that you use an e-collar system with them. Also, aggressive dogs should not be contained with an electric dog fence as the only barrier around your property. An underground dog fence only offers one-way containment, so people and animals can potentially enter your yard. Because aggressive dogs can be dangerous in the right circumstances, you don’t want to risk it. The best way to keep aggressive dogs contained is to use both an underground dog fence and a high traditional fence with no gaps. 

What Goes Into Installing a Dog Fence?

You can install your own electric dog fence as a weekend project, even if you have little to no DIY experience. The average time it takes, including planning and breaks, is about 10 hours, and the process is not too labor intensive. Once you’ve planned the layout, mounted the transmitter box to the wall, and laid and spliced the wire, the next step of burying the wire is the most physically demanding, unless you opt to use a trencher. Connecting and testing the system is fairly simple, even if there is a break in the wire you need to find and fix. 

The key to successfully installing your own electronic dog fence is to plan carefully. Read the entire instruction manual before you begin. Online instructions and videos can also help make the process easier. Understand what you need to accomplish before you begin, or you could run into unexpected challenges that will eat up time. Part of the planning requirements is to call your local utility company so that they come and mark underground utility lines in your yard; be sure to call a few days before you want to install because you cannot dig safely without doing so. 

How is a Dog Trained on an Electric Dog Fence?

Once your system is up and running smoothly, it’s time to train your dog. This is the most important part, because your electric fence will be useless if your dog doesn’t understand the expectations that come with it. You will train your dog three times a day, 15 minutes each, for two weeks. You begin by marking the boundaries with flags and walking your dog around them. You’ll teach your dog that when they get too close to the perimeter, a warning tone from their e-collar will tell them to turn and retreat. If they don’t retreat, they’ll experience the corrective shock. They’ll learn that the only way to avoid the corrective shock is to observe the boundaries. 

In order to effectively train your dog, you must follow the training instructions exactly. Again it’s important to read through all the instructions and understand them before you begin. If your dog isn’t properly trained, they’ll feel the corrective shock on a regular basis and end up fearing to go outside. If you cannot commit to three 15-minute training sessions per day, then do not get an electronic dog fence. Consistent, adequate training is absolutely essential to safe, proper use. 

Which Containment System Should You Choose?

There are many different electronic dog fence systems on the market, and it can seem like a daunting task to choose the best one for your dog. However, online comparison charts and reviews of wired and wireless dog fence systems can help you make an informed decision. Different systems have different size capacities, so you’ll need to know the total area of your yard (or the area you want to enclose). If you have more than one dog, you’ll also need to choose a system that can support the appropriate number of e-collars. If your dogs are different sizes, you’ll need e-collars that have adjustable correction levels. 

Beyond those important specifications, there are other features you can choose from. For example, some e-collars have remote training capabilities, where you can correct unwanted behavior, such as barking or digging. If the electricity is prone to go out where you live, you probably want to choose a system that has a battery backup. Carefully reviewing the features of each electronic dog fence will help ensure you choose the best system for your dog and yard. With a little research and careful planning, you and your dog will be happy and content with the installation of your new electric fence. 

If you need help installing a DIY electric fence, check out the detailed instructions, FAQ’s, and videos at DogFenceDIY, our partners in electronic containment education.

No Way Out : Walking Dead ( Spoilers)

The Alexandrians

Ok, apologies for the zombie-fest today, but I couldn't wait until this evening to watch the return of my favourite tv show...tomorrow I am sure I shall return to cooking rhubarb, dog poo and Prof stories, but today, unashamedly, I am indulging myself with the undead and teen obsessions of Daryl Dixon.

All historical dramas of epic scale have a heroic moment, a moment that perhaps goes down in folklore , a story to be told around the fire to scare the children.
The Walking Dead has been waiting for such a story in a long time.
For ages we have seen a noticeable chasm between "Team Rick " and " Team Alexandria" . Rick's team,  for the most part, is a self sufficient, slightly elitist, fighting force whereas the Alexandrians were seen as soft and inexperienced.
Both groups slightly mistrusting of the other.
What was needed was something to draw both factions together, and in episode 9 No Way Out, we saw the most epic of battles when the entire population of Alexandria joined forces to repel the  invading walkers.
Ok forget the holes in the narrative ( sudden darkness, Glen surviving yet again a near death experience and the Wolf suddenly turning into Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm in order to save Denise)
It was all great television with useless underdogs such as moody teen Enid, Eugene the nerd and lumpy doctor Denise picking up their weapons , and -in the words of that awful vicar- turned baby rescuer Gabriel - " taking arms to save their town"
It was also great to see Daryl flex his considerable biceps with a newly acquired rocket launcher , to blast Negan's henchmen right out of the bottoms of their leather boots
It was a bravura, exciting and back on form episode.
Great fun

Arse over tit!

Trelawnyd seems a bit dead this morning

I'm running late today....everything is "arse over tit"
Firstly the Prof still wasn't 100% overnight , so kept us both awake.
Secondly I have just made gravy for a chicken and mushroom pie using fish stock
And thirdly I am working this evening, so will miss the first episode of The Walking Dead!
How can the world be so cruel? 

Anyhow , the chicken pie has been finally made. The Prof will be returning home from work early and the satellite box thing will record the zombie apocalypse for me to watch tomorrow night, so barring a powercut things will be fine.........I have read the synopsis of the second half premier anyway, so I know who gets chomped/sliced/ shot ( delete as appropriate) .......my nerves couldn't take the suspenders!

Right like all good country house blogs I shall leave you with a photo of the aforementioned chicken and mushroom pie.....it's magnificent!

Have a good monday all..........