My Husband

I understand that Going Gently isn't quite like most blogs because it follows the loose narrative that is my daily existence. I can't apologise for that, for that the way the thing has evolved , the only down side is that sometimes the entries can be somewhat pedestrian in nature. Bear with me.

Yesterday I had the car because it was vet visit day for William. Our vets is a country practice located in a busy and very Welsh market town  17 miles away. The surgery doesn't open until 2pm so I stopped at the butchers to buy a homemade scotch egg ( incidentally the same butchers that processed our pigs) and shared it with William in the waiting room at 1.50 pm.
(He prefers the sausage meat and allows me to keep the eggy middle for myself)
I always get to the vets early, as I hate to get in that bunfight of waiting behind a load of people that think their baby is better than yours.

The George Clooney and Russell Crowe vet were not on duty, so we were seen by the Bridget Jones vet who gave William a detailed examination and charged me a fortune for a steroid injection, antibiotics and some antifungal shampoo. I kept some scotch egg aside to give him when Bridget checked his anal glands. It kept him quiet.

Anyhow as we  left the now packed waiting room a middle aged man stood up with a smile and extended his hand to shake mine.  I had no idea who he was, nor did I recognise his  smiling wife who was sitting next to him  with a small poodle  on her knee.
" Did your wedding go well?" He asked and seeing my sudden confusion quickly added his name with the added explanation " you admitted me to ICU  in February "
It was typical of meeting someone that you have only seen once before in a completely different situation as I only vaguely recognised him, so I smiled broadly and shook him warmly by the hand.
I told him that he looked well and so he did.
It was then I remembered him. He had been very poorly but chatty when he came under our care , and in passing, in a way of reducing his anxieties, I had told him a little about the wedding plans. I looked after him for around eight hours.
" So the day went well? " the man said and I replied " It was the best day"
The couple smiled together and the man said easily  " And that is how it should be .....give our very best to your husband"

I think it was the genuine easiness of the remark that pleased me the most. Genuine easiness and genuine interest. I have a new husband and a relative stranger celebrated the fact with no edge at all.

TWD EP 6

The Walking Dead episode 6 had the larger than life Abraham flirting with Sasha
It introduced another well organised and threatening set of baddies
And it reminded the audience that Daryl needs to set up his own stress free community as underneath the greasy hair , he remains a real sweetie.
Not much else happened....hey ho

whoops

Have you ever sent an email to the wrong person at the wrong time?
I did on Saturday night.
My best friend Nu often emails me a quick note via her phone on a regular basis
It's often an exclamation about a situation or a play or a film she has seen and it is something we have done for years.
Saturday night, well after 11pm I received this

Brooklyn 9! Kinky boots 8.5, Lady in the van 8.5! 

Immediately I replied
With this

Nancy would have given Brooklyn a 10 

Going to see " van " tomorrow if shitty botty allows xxx

( just in way of explanation Nancy was Nu's mother and fan of anything Irish)

Anyway, I had failed to highlight Nu's email and sent the email to the very dry Health and safety representative of the local Samaritan Branch.

A few minutes later I recieved this brief email

This correspondence is NOT for me

Have you ever sent the wrong email to the wrong person?

Answers on a postcard

The Lady In The Van ( Spoilers)

I'm still not firing on all cylinders yet ( no jokes) but I was glad that we went to the cinema this afternoon.
We went to see Nicolas Hytner's screen adaptation of Alan Bennett's " The Lady In The Van"

The film , somewhat tentatively , explores Bennett's odd relationship with the eccentric Miss Shepherd who lived a somewhat disorganised and slovenly life in an old van outside his London house for over fifteen years.
Bennett is portrayed as the character that we all think that we know and love. He is a Witty , self depreciating, lonely old northern poof with mother issues and Miss Shepherd is his shit flinging mother figure, cow muse , a woman with a hidden past, mental health issues and the ideal character to base a book, play and now a film on.
I could go on about the the film's efforts to keep Miss Shepherd's secrets until the film reel, but I won't, as these swerve balls are not really important to the experience per se.
The film's strength lies in Maggie Smith .
Now we all know the Smith " shriek" which has been put to such good effect in productions ranging from Gosforth Park and Downton Abbey to  The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and A Private Function and so fans will be happy to hear that she brandishes it , with magnificent effect in this movie as she berates Bennett ( Alex Jennings) and the other well meaning residents of leafy Camden .However it is in several key almost silent scenes that the old girl, with her lined face and sad eyes, shines so beautifully.
The first is when Miss Shepherd listens to a beautiful piece of music for the first time in many years and the second is when she is placed on an ambulance tail lift, an experience which she finds strangely exciting. Like a silent film star , the emotions she shares with the audience , are extraordinary powerful and moving.
The script isn't as biting and funny as Bennett's A Private Function, which is a little disappointing and the " clever" touches such as the cameos from all of the history boys as well as the underused roles of all of the Camden residents ( Francis de la Tour, Roger Allam, Deborah Findley) let the side down a little.
But having said that, it is Smith that makes the whole amusing story, worthwhile
8/10

Out

Years ago, I briefly moved into a boyfrriend's apartment when I was "in  between"  houses. It was only for two weeks and it was a surprise favour.

The whole situation proved to be the beginning of the end for that relationship for the day I moved in, I was told that his phone number had been changed. 

My boyfriend was deeply in the closet and the number change was a practical step to keep one life from dovetailing into the other.

At the time ,,I accepted such behaviour, though instinctively I knew it to be wrong. To be made to feel like,a second class citizen by the person who you think you have a wonderful relationship with is a no no....for you AND for them. 

I can understand it ( well I could,then) but it kind of set the relationship's  bar, incredibly low , if you see what I mean.

I finally finished that relationship after being denied publicly by the same boyfriend a year or so later and I Walked away, upset, but with my head held high. 

It sounds melodramatic now, but I remember thinking then that no other person or situation would ever make me feel ashamed of what I was again ( yes a true Scarlett O'Hara moment)....

And they never did .

Of course, I have had to face the odd homophobic situation, one from someone quite close to me, but with a bit of patience and fairly good humour , that resolved itself with time. 

People DO change with the times

and the times are a changing.....as the song goes.

The Prof and I were lucky....we came out just as it was more  socially acceptable  to do so, but  has to be said that our path to acceptance has not always been a smooth one..

Oh for the day that comes when no eyebrows are raised when a partner is brought home

I'm an optimist

It's not far away

Hey ho x

.......and finally a little levity

With personal illness and international world news...Saturday has been all a bit glum has it not?
So I shall leave you with this
A short video
Mary versus Winnie
" The fight over the grey elephant continues"

Vive La France

Fraternite

The Sick Bed

This is the scene this morning.
My sick bed. Complete with William, George , Albert and Winnie.
I feel weak as an old lady's fart but certainly am better than I was as my temperature is down and my insides are now remaining inside me rather than escaping into the toilet bowl like water down a drain pipe.
The Prof has coped remarkably well given the circumstances.
He has sorted out the field animals, toileted Mary with exasperated patience and has washed my unpleasant underwear without complaint.
I do have the feeling, though, that he has had enough of the old nursing thing as the last time he 'popped" in the old thermometer, he did so with rather too much force.( and before Tom says anything it was an oral thermometer!)

Seriously though, I have been thinking that we take our health too much for granted. The knock on effect when sudden or even chronic illness takes hold can be vast and devastating especially when responsibilities have to be met and work completed.
Luckily I have had the opportunity to stay in bed  ( a short gallop away from the loo) but without The Prof that couldn't have been possible.
It worries me that both of us are getting older...
..and health generally favours the young.......