It was a busy night at work last night. Over a snatched cup of tea at 6 am the nursing night shift got into conversation about homophobia within the profession.
It wasn't THAT long ago that I had to pull up a colleague short who refered to a patient to ME as " being one of YOUR lot" .
It was an unthinking and stupid remark which got short shrift from me.and I hope that the nurse involved learnt from the following telling off I gave them. At this time in the world there is absolutely no place for such silliness, I remember saying.
When I was a nurse in the early 1990s attitudes generally were not as accepting as I would like to think that they are today and I remember one young patient in particular who struggled with her own sexuality whilst at the same time dealing with a catastrophic spinal injury.
The patient was called Sue and she was admitted following a motorway accident. She was place on , what was referred to then, as conservative bed rest for a back injury, which meant that she was placed flat on her back for 12 weeks!
Sue came from a large, bickering but loving family, and every day her parents, brothers and sisters crowded around her bed, effectively closing ranks in a protective huddle.
An old boyfriend was brought in by her mother to aid moral but it was clear that after a week from admission, Sue looked dreadfully depressed.
Her nurse, a real psychologically based rehab character called Ruth, came to me to discuss the case.
" I think she's gay" Ruth suggested, noting that one of Sue's visitors was a quiet, intense girl called Debs who seemed to always be pushed out at visiting times by the more needy and ever present family. " but it's only a hunch"
I suggested that Ruth explore the issue which she did in her own direct and very effective way when we went to turn Sue in bed shortly after.
With the family out of earshot Ruth gently asked if Debs was Sue's girlfriend.
It was done in a matter-o-fact way, which was pitched just right.........
And the floodgates opened.
Sue told us that for weeks the two women had been effectively separated and isolated. They had been lovers for over a year, but because both were in the closet , both had to cope with the accident and a devastating paralysis alone.
They had not had a minute together in private since the accident.
Within an hour , Ruth had sorted the issue. The family were sent home hours later under a pretext of some extended personal nursing procedure and after a flurry of phone calls, Debs was contacted and brought into the ward for an incredibly emotional and loving reunion with her girlfriend.
Ruth's hunch provided Sue with the support and love she desperately needed at a time of great distress, and although still firmly in the closet, Sue was helped through those dark days until she got up in a wheelchair to start rehab proper.
Now that was holistic care.
It wasn't THAT long ago that I had to pull up a colleague short who refered to a patient to ME as " being one of YOUR lot" .
It was an unthinking and stupid remark which got short shrift from me.and I hope that the nurse involved learnt from the following telling off I gave them. At this time in the world there is absolutely no place for such silliness, I remember saying.
When I was a nurse in the early 1990s attitudes generally were not as accepting as I would like to think that they are today and I remember one young patient in particular who struggled with her own sexuality whilst at the same time dealing with a catastrophic spinal injury.
The patient was called Sue and she was admitted following a motorway accident. She was place on , what was referred to then, as conservative bed rest for a back injury, which meant that she was placed flat on her back for 12 weeks!
Sue came from a large, bickering but loving family, and every day her parents, brothers and sisters crowded around her bed, effectively closing ranks in a protective huddle.
An old boyfriend was brought in by her mother to aid moral but it was clear that after a week from admission, Sue looked dreadfully depressed.
Her nurse, a real psychologically based rehab character called Ruth, came to me to discuss the case.
" I think she's gay" Ruth suggested, noting that one of Sue's visitors was a quiet, intense girl called Debs who seemed to always be pushed out at visiting times by the more needy and ever present family. " but it's only a hunch"
I suggested that Ruth explore the issue which she did in her own direct and very effective way when we went to turn Sue in bed shortly after.
With the family out of earshot Ruth gently asked if Debs was Sue's girlfriend.
It was done in a matter-o-fact way, which was pitched just right.........
And the floodgates opened.
Sue told us that for weeks the two women had been effectively separated and isolated. They had been lovers for over a year, but because both were in the closet , both had to cope with the accident and a devastating paralysis alone.
They had not had a minute together in private since the accident.
Within an hour , Ruth had sorted the issue. The family were sent home hours later under a pretext of some extended personal nursing procedure and after a flurry of phone calls, Debs was contacted and brought into the ward for an incredibly emotional and loving reunion with her girlfriend.
Ruth's hunch provided Sue with the support and love she desperately needed at a time of great distress, and although still firmly in the closet, Sue was helped through those dark days until she got up in a wheelchair to start rehab proper.
Now that was holistic care.
