Gifts

 Have I told you it’s my birthday tomorrow?

It’s all me me me , lol

My shift is going ok, and my weak arm is holding up, to be fair the night is quieter than usual but I have taken the “ heavier” patients in order to stretch myself physically

I’ve been thinking what my most favourite birthday gift has been……

Finlay….

Hildegarde

 

The FedEx delivery man liked my dinosaur

“That’s Cool” he observed as he posted the envelope through the open window

I preened

It’s always nice to have one’s dinosaur complimented. 

I thought it was a birthday card.

It wasn’t 

It was a gift of banknotes with a kind message which said “ a graduation gift…”

I was moved into a shocked silence

It was sent from a faceless Hildegarde

A name which conjures up an interesting accent, a round kind face and a mysterious past.

Sometimes it’s hard keeping upbeat

I’ve had to resort to bra strap pulling on many an occasion, 

Fake it to make it, 

When ill health has compounded those loneliness of days or self doubt has questioned the validity of the last piece of academic work I handed in without someone on the other side of the kitchen table to say “That’s not at all bad”

Hildegarde’s gift has come at the most opportune of times. 

I’m working tonight and don’t really want to.

And her gift has boosted me today. 

As had my video presentation on Grief Therapy result, 

which has just undergone its second marker check

Another A 

How wonderful is that? 

I’m  sharing that with you all because I have no one else to share that with.

I’m sharing Hildegarde’s kindness because it was kind and much appreciated 

A birthday gift from Nu arrived today as did a smattering of cards, 

I took the Welsh for a walk and out for breakfast 

They shared a cheesy flatbread and I had my coffee and porridge 

And we ate in Bluebell overlooking the sea

Together

Man Crush

 Did I tell you that I’m 63 on Sunday?

Am I too old to have a man crush?

Well I have

Jason Mantzoukas

Hair like an unmade bed,

Beard like a rabbit nest

I’m smitten

Have him wrapped up and sent round 

Giselle

 

Sometimes we limit ourselves because of effort and boxes which we construct around ourselves. The broken handle on the back door is a case in point, I’ve lived with it for months now, and only recently has it got on my tits enough for me to fix it today.

And that’s satisfying as fuck! 

Today I’ve decided that things need doing.

I read with interest that the National Ballet Company of Japan is guesting at the Royal Opera House in July. It performs Giselle and I’m bloody well going to the Saturday matinee, I suspect it will be a delightful experience so bish, bash, bosh , I’ve got me an ok seat and an early train to London.

I’m on a roll today. 

Patterns

 “John does find positive comments difficult to hear and has a tendency to be more comfortable with negative feedback, this continues to be work in progress for him.”

I am reflecting on this sentence. Just one from an excellent three page report from my supervisor , she’s perfectly right, that this continues to be a work in progress for me.

My 1970s childhood was devoid of parental praise and that’s why it feels awkward when I’m praised by authority figures. I’ve always understood that dynamic it’s the go to dynamic of me returning to negative praise that’s I’ve now understood more and more, even I though I’m a man rapidly approaching his 63rd birthday 

Stopping yourself returning to what you know ( but also what you despise ) can be difficult but it’s perfectly doable with practice. 

I’ve reread my supervisor’s report and have accepted the positives therein  

Hey ho

It’s my birthday on Sunday ( Janet’s too) I think her birthday gift will feature another London trip or somewhere further afield .

Mary is back home, where she should be, Trendy Carol and her hubby, loved having her, I have a sneaky idea that they would love to adopt her

But she’s home Roger watching her carefully

Garden

As requested a video of the garden

Everything is incredibly dry

A Good Day

 

Sometimes you make your own good day

Other times it’s made for you.

Today has been a bit of both.

I got up early, and amongst jobs cut roses and honeysuckle and euphorbia from the garden  and put them in a gaudy Welsh jug that was doing nothing.

Roger and I went for a sausage breakfast on Colwyn Bay Promenade then went to the hospice to retrieve my emails as he tottered around the staff, bumming treats.

At midday I met up with some of the hospice staff for lunch and a haircut and a gossip . 

They are a nice bunch, and I could feel their good ( and very black) humour lift my psychi

This evening it’s two video calls with friends in Manchester and Sheffield

It’s been a perfect day

Quite lovely 

Pottering

 Im sat in the forcourt of a busy garage and shop in St Asaph waiting to meet with my counsellor and her hubby who have my final report documentation for university. 

Im feeling a bit like an over the hill drug dealer but they dont, im sure, eat McDonald's porridge with a cardboard spoon when waiting to meet

Ive bought her a pretty yellow lilly as a thank you. 

Today has a flower theme as im delivering flower show programmes with Randy Roger in tow. Mary is resting under the gentle eye of Trendy Carol's hubby, a man who will spoil her rotton.

Ive had a long chat with my boss at work yesterday and have we have agreed to a phased return starting next Friday. This means I will effectively work one shift and two study day shifts in three weeks, enough time to see how I feel and more space to review my options.

My supervisor reflected that its been an awful year for me so far, which I disagreed with. I do however think that it is a pivotal one where work and choices are concerned

This weekend will be useful to contemplate my options

Hormones and laburnum

 

My laburnum is so in flower it can be seen from space….

Well that’s a lie, but it can be seen from the lane window

Which pleases me.

Roger has been affected badly from Mary’s “ final” and sudden being in season…it has now necessitated Mary’s  immediate relocation to Trendy Carol’s house. Roger has now humped three cushions , my stuffed chameleon , Mrs Trellis’s red felt lobster and has attempted to mount Weaver with disastrous results 

Oh lord 

Help us 

Where Does the Time Go?

On Wednesday it was Nu’s birthday 

My touchstone , my friend , my bestie

Seeing Julia Fordham singing at the Royal Opera House last night reminded me of my salad days with Nu

When 1990 revolved around being a student, The Ledmill, too much alcohol and laughing

Where does the time go? 

Was the soundtrack of our friendship in an rapidly evolving Sheffield 

Tomorrow  she travels by train in Norway, what fun!

I see her , on average three times a year 

And she’s as necessary to me as oxygen 

Ballet to Broadway

 

The glorious An American in Paris ballet

Late home 

My friend Wendy ( who is a warm , funny woman who laughs easily) invited me to a live showing of Christopher Wheeldon ‘s “ Ballet to Broadway “ from the Royal Opera House tonight

4 very separate dance pieces one set to the songs of Joni Mitchell  ( sung by the glorious Julia Fordham )below

 An unexpected gem 

The Flower Show

 I’m a judge short.

Meirion of the lovely garden on Maes Offa cannot judge the flower section this year, which is a blow. 

I’m presently in negotiation  with a local potter to be our arts judge and I’m going around to see Animal Helper Pat, who is a wonderful gardener to step in with the flowers. 

It will get sorted. 

Trendy Carol ( looking svelte in bright summer colours) has just passed and the village feels out and about in the warm sunny month that we’ve had. Affable despot Jason has taken over one of the allotments in Bonc Terrace, and someone new has bought Trefor’s old bungalow on the corner.

No one knows who the newbies are

Mission Impossible

 

My sisters, sister in law and brother in law and I  went to see Mission Impossible Final Reckoning tonight 

Apart from Tom Cruise’s T rex running arms ( which we copied every time he ran ) and an underused but hypnotic Paris ( the camera loving Pom klementieff below) and one set piece fight in an Arctic cabin the three hour finale was all a bit much. After we left , I felt a reenactment of the chase scenes was in order 

And my sister loved it ( see her Facebook comment below)

Janet Parry

 I liked bits of it ...3 hours is too long my knees were killing me ...best bit was you driving like a mad man out of the car park

Kitchen Wall Gift and a mouse with attitude

 

At lunchtime I found a card and a gift from a Going Gently fan on the kitchen wall next to the lane.

What fun

Robyn ( with hubby in tow) should have popped in for a cuppa, but they didn’t and went well out of their way to treat me on a day that I needed a kindness. 

I was made up. Thank you dearheartx 

This story from last night is dedicated to Robyn 

It concerns Weaver

I’ve already shared that the twins seldom go out.

I put this down to their natural shyness coupled with Mary’s antics at the open cat flap.

Last night we all got a glimpse of Weaver’s true nature.

She’s not the Mary Poppins I think she is…

It was going on ten pm. 

The zombie serial The Last Of Us was playing, the fire was roaring and the Welsh were curled up on the sofa. 

Bun was sat on the stool by the tv with her legs tucked primly underneath her

It was all calm, 

Then Weaver strode in from the kitchen like !ily Savage on stage

A fat brown mouse in her mouth

She looked at the sleeping dogs and looked angry

And gave the mouse a sharp bite down 

It squeaked loudly

And the Welsh and Bun jumped up in sudden excitement .

Instead of legging it, Weaver stood her ground and spat the fatally wounded mouse on to the carpet with what I can only describe as gross contempt.

And in the melee of terriers hoping for a free lunch that followed. she walked up the stairs as if nothing had happened

Musing

 I dropped Leo off at Chester station this morning, grabbed a coffee at the Storyhouse and sat quietly underneath its art deco ceiling and the inspirational quotes by famous writers

Its a place to muse, if u need to as it is muted like a library which plays gentle music

I always feel a little deflated after there is noise in the cottage. Leo laughed a schoolboy laugh at everything the Welsh threw at him and being Autistic shared a different view of ordinary life which is totally unique and sometimes refreashing

He found my slightly feigned hatred of the Minecraft movie amusing and baffling.His obsession with his phone I realise is normal for most 22 year olds.

Im learning.

I feel unsettled.I dont want to returm to work even though im not due back for 10 days

I have some thinking to do

Ive ordered the harissa sausage breakfast its all protein and few carbs My sugars were 5.8 this morning.

Leo has just texted a formal thank you.he always refers to me as "uncle" something he will continue to do for years

Sunday

 We had a long walk to y shed this morning to have breakfast and Leo picked MinecraftThe Movie as his afternoon out treat with Pizza Express as a follow up. The film was the worst film I’ve ever seen but the chicken salad was quite a lovely surprise. 

Tonight is vegging with a beer

Movies, Pizza and Dogs

 

Leo was delayed in Crewe, so I picked him up in Chester. We started the day with pizza at Chester Market then a horror film Final Destination BloodLines which showed more unique ways to kill the average Joe than could be imagined by your usual serial killer.

We did some serious dog lurve , ate sausage and chips on the beach and visited my sisters before going to see Thunderbolts which was, surprisingly entertaining for a superhero movie

After the film we had a hour and a half discussion about the best of Bond Girls before bed

I’m totally fucked

Leo

  Leo will be arriving soon, I’m waiting for his train to arrive . 

I wrote this about him six year ago it’s worth a revisit

“ it’s  my nephew Leo's birthday today

He's a late teen.

He is Chris's nephew and not my blood relative and our relationship is text

 

based with a heavy biase towards adventure movies, superheroes, DVDs and tv.

I love the intermittent " conversations" we have

I'm incredibly fond of the boy who is now almost a man .

Three years ago now we took Leo to London on a shopping expedition after a booked trip to see the Star Wars exhibition at the O2. 

The trip went mighty fine. 

But I remember one moment when we crossed the road near Trafalgar Square  the noise of a nearby  group of protesters suddenly rose to a crescendo. 

I remember thinking that sudden loud noises may be a potential problem for Leo and I wondered , a bit helplessly, just what I could do to make things easier.

I need not have worried

Quietly Leo slipped his hand into mine as we crossed the road and held it firmly until we moved into a quieter part of central London.

I remember being terribly moved by this tiny but very human moment of the visit.

History

 I found these two videos which give a little background to The Gop and to the Trelawnyd name. He has a great voice too

Operation Dog Snot Removal

 My ex’s nephew arrives on Saturday morning. Now I know that he won’t be bothered hat the cottage looks like , but I will

After seeing clients I’m racing around with the carpet cleaner, 

Fabreeze is my best friend

Leo is an easy guest.

Already I’ve set him homework to see what films he wants to see that are showing within a twenty mile radius and we will make a day of it.