Saturday, 8 May 2021

The Laburnam

 Over the years ( and each one of these photographs represent a year from 2007- 2020) I have enjoyed the laburnum tree in the churchyard .

Yesterday Animal Helper Pat , called around to let me know that it had been felled by the recent storms and bad weather..

I felt like crying 

I’ve just emailed the vicar to see if I can replace it with a brand new sapling  

If he says no 

I will do it anyway

Friday, 7 May 2021

Fat Bastards

The weather may remain dry this afternoon 
I will resume wall painting then.
In between showers the girls have been jostling for the sunny position on the trendy blue sofa.
I have been making fat rascals for most of the morning

Between 1986 and 1989 I lived in the city of York . Before my late nursing shift start at 1 pm, I would often go to Betty’s tea rooms which is situated in St Helen’s square, to have myself a small Golden carafe of coffee and a fat rascal. There was a single table upstairs which I loved to sit in, where I would pretentiously read my book and scoff my rascal 
This morning I made Fat Rascals for the very first time.
Now for those that don’t know a Fat Rascal is a cross between a scone and a bun; in actual fact it is a Rock cake which is filled with fruit, orange zest, whole bleached almonds and glacè cherries. 
The last three ingredients make the rascal taste so good
They should be eaten warm with butter and should be large, two handed buns.
I made mine a little smaller than I’d like but they tasted Right Good when I tried them

Years after I had left York for Sheffield , I returned to the city to see some friends. Feeling all nostalgic for a Rascal, I turned left into the shop rather than the cafe and ordered six. 
The shop waitress looked surprised at my request
I had ordered Six fat Bastards instead of Six Fat Rascals!!
She got the gist! 

I will leave you with this short film called Alex And Jay
It’s a wonderfully acted piece which turns out quite charmingly 
I’ve enrolled in another film study course, this one centred around exploration of gay themes within cinema.. it will keep me busy on Thursday nights.

Chic Eleanor has just messaged me, she has booked a table for dinner for us and some friends next week
“ Darling” the message read “ We are embarking on a new beginning”

Thursday, 6 May 2021

A Little Bit Of Sweetness

I had painted half of the outside toilet ( which now houses my bike and lawn mower) when Mrs Trellis stopped to chat.
She was in inquisitive mode, and wasn’t wearing her usual overly erect bobble hat
She asked me what my long term plans were as she had heard through village gossip that I was about to leave Trelawnyd to live in Llandudno
This tickled me
I love village gossip.
I reassured Mrs T that I had no long term plans
And it’s true, I haven’t
I haven’t got any major plans at all.
Mrs Trellis frowned
She didn’t know that I have a mortgage to pay until I am 72, and why would she?
I told her,  and joked, in true ostrich head in the sand tradition that I will face selling up and moving to a cheaper property when I have to and I will enjoy my home in the meantime .
I laughed but
Strangely she bit her lip and promptly burst into silent tears.
This took me completely by surprise
I leant over the kitchen wall but she stepped back a pace pulling Blue with her.
I was touched by her sudden show of emotion .
“Aren’t you worried about the future ?” She asked seriously
“ No , “ I told her honestly ,” I’m here now , I’m enjoying work, I can just about pay my bills, I will face change when it happens !”
Mrs Trellis still looked worried “ I don’t want you leave “ she said rubbing her hands together
“ I’m not leaving just yet” I told her kindly 
And I laughed loudly , forcing her to do the same .


Best laid plans 
I started to paint the back of the cottage today but had to stop/ start due to the weather .
I ended up watching The Bells Of St Mary’s 
Ingrid Bergman always made a lovely nun.

Oh I voted too....

Wednesday, 5 May 2021

Cushion less


I did get unhealthily excited in the cushion section of Liverpool’s John Lewis but couldn’t quite decide on what I wanted to buy, so I galloped into kitchen ware like a gay water buffalo where I bought an expensive but rather impressive utensil holder decorated with a blue whale....what larks pip! 
I also managed to find some cutlery I was missing and ended my spree with a massive gaggle of birthday cards, I had a hey ho time.

For along time I sat in the centre of the city listening to the buskers sing their songs.
I felt like a sponge soaking up all the noise and the movement.
I met up with Colin too, which was lovely. We walked and talked around Greenbank Park and felt more human 

4 minute Post

My new cheap human head vase from Sainsbury’s , full of garden flowers

 Dorothy had made such a good job of my psoriasis covered knees the other week, that I was able to wear shorts for our walk today. 
I gave them an extra long walk today as I’m off to Liverpool shortly to see my friend Colin .
Colin was my pre first lockdown potential bf who has turned into a very good friend.
( and before any of you get your knickers all in a twist was my decision)
I’m going to treat myself a visit to John Lewis, where I will get overly excited at their cushion department ( a thing only gays can do properly)  
If I buy one I will post later........oh you,lucky people...

Tuesday, 4 May 2021



I “do” old friends.
I always have done.
Today I met Cheryl, a mate of 35 years long-standing 
We Met in a frigid outdoor restaurant during a rainstorm 
And afterwards we hugged and hugged and hugged as we are now allowed to do in Wales

Monday, 3 May 2021

The Movie In My Mind - Miss Saigon

In the early 1990s I went to see Miss Saigon 
I saw it several times 
Tonight I revisited it and was reminded of this song, which is one that affected me the most from the production 
Lea Selonga was a revelation in the lead role but I loved the slightly shopworn character of Gigi played by Isay Alvarez. Her voice perfect for the words she sang

Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on."

The desk at work looks like the wreck of the Hesperus.
As a favour I’ve come in to cover sickness but in patients remains strangely quiet , so I’m catching up on nurse revalidation paperwork and am online buying a leaving gift for a colleague .
I smell strangely expensive too....which is a first......

I smell expensive because I’ve generously squirted myself with  Jicky ..extract de parfum which was a gift from one of my patients from last year. I didn’t know it can be bought for £255 quid a bottle until tonight
No more squirting Dorothy’s farty backside with it now I know.....hey ho.....I’m such a Luddite 

I’m skint too, but before the troll minions start, I’m not complaining about it, just observing it. 
The cinemas open soon so I’ve prebooked  tickets for the recent crop of Oscar winners
Anthony Hopkins The Father,  Chloe Zhad’s  Namadland  with Francis McDormand, Pedro Almodovar’s The Human Voice, and the Korean/ American Minari 

I’ve also just booked my train to see Nu.....I’m going a few days after my birthday in June.....what fun! 
There will be much shedding of tears when we meet for sure.

Tomorrow , after a sleep I will venture forth to B@Q to buy some white paint to weatherproof the back of the cottage and to give it a clean up after a wet winter

I will leave you with a brief tribute to Olympia Dukakis who died yesterday.
She was not only a fabulous actress  with memorable roles in Moonstruck, Tales of the City  and  Steel Magnolias “ looks like two pigs fightin under a blanket,” but she was also an active advocate for LGBTQ rights. 
A lovely lady with a lovely smile.
She will be missed.

Sunday, 2 May 2021

Sunday Morning


Finally, the laburnum in the Churchyard has started to bud a hardly detectable green.
I have been worried about it not doing so.
It’s the most magnificent tree in the village.
The sun is shining but it remains cooler than you might expect and when you look at the gorse on the Gop the blooms  that looked so golden only week ago , now look more muted in their radiance.
The bachelor cockerel is crowing incessantly this morning but the breeze alters the volume of his calls from faint to bearable.
There is the noise of a tractor coming from one of the fields in the valley towards Gentleman Ralph’s farm
It’s as irritating as a lawnmower on this Sunday morning, the breeze can’t change that.
The bluebells are out, in my garden and in the corner of the churchyard where I planted them two years ago. 
They are luminous.
As if powered by tiny batteries
The girls have been walking in the woods, they haven’t visited in an age.
They scampered like mice

Saturday, 1 May 2021

Saturday off to a bad start 
Out walking with the dogs and Dorothy in a fit of bulldog enthusiasm jumped up and ripped a long sliver of my jogging pants waist to ankle, with her claws

I had to continue the walk on a somewhat crowded walkway with my left leg and thigh provocatively poking through the gap aka Faye Dunaway in The Towering Inferno.
And yes I had my very. off white underpants on.
I sort of know how this kid felt