One of the themes running through The Devil Wears Prada 2 was that most of the characters were never quite able to say what they wanted. Miranda couldn’t share her thanks and admiration for second in command Nigel, who in turn could not ask his boss for what he wanted, ie recognition and promotion. and Emily wanted Andrea’s friendship but backed off from asking for it, even though she was desperate for contact and affection.
On my counselling days I often see this in therapy. The unsaid, the not asked for, the I’m not worthy, the fear of rejection.
I’ve seen it in my own life, and in the life of others close to me, in fact it’s a central theme to one of my most favourite film scenes….the ferry scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding
I’ve done it today , and feel better for it, even though the outcome wasn’t the best 🌈❤️
Hey ho
I’m relaxing watching Andre Rieu on tv ….a beer in hand , Roger is playing with Bun and Weaver upstairs
God only knows how that happened ….they are racing around like lunatics
Mary is on my knee
Yes! To tell the truth to ourselves and to others. X
ReplyDeleteI guess it’s all about self worth , and about what you deserve
DeleteI no longer ask for what I want, too many knock backs have made me realise I'm not meant to receive the things I need/want. I'll settle for a peaceful life and the love of my dog.
ReplyDeleteI disagree Hester , u deserve to be heard , even though you don’t hear what you want to
DeleteI’ve learned that lesson today
I find it really difficult to put my needs/wants ahead of others. I do try occasionally, but it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I'll fight for my loved ones' needs and wants, but for me... I guess it really is a case of "I'm not worthy"!
ReplyDeleteHow lovely to hear that the children are happily playing upstairs, while the adults enjoy a bit of relaxation! I just hope the fun and games doesn't end in tears. (Either theirs or yours!) xx
I’ve not ventured upstairs to see the wreckage
DeleteHope nothing comes to grief (or fracture) with the youngsters playing upstairs unsupervised. I'm sure that Mary is grateful for your company in the peace and quiet of downstairs.
ReplyDeleteR and I have set spending limits each month and bills, gasoline, and groceries don't count for either of us!
Hugs!
Xx babs xx
DeleteAs you often say “ that video broke my heart just a little “
ReplyDeleteLee
I thought it might
DeleteAre you talking about your German friend ? Just wondered xxx
ReplyDeleteNo comment
DeleteBeing a mother and care giver, I tend to put other people first. and my needs second which can be exhausting sometimes.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite Uncle used to say there are givers and takers and that is the way things work.
I agree, but the givers need to set limits and state their needs.
Self awareness is the real key
DeleteIt's so hard to ask for what we want, to say yes, or to say no, because what if? What if they don't care? What if it hurts too much?
ReplyDeleteI've been asking Jack's other family for help and no help happening, not physically or financially, but at least I know I have asked now. One for me:)
If you are clear and polite , you have done your best
DeleteWell, I both want and need to say that GAWD I despise Andre Rieu and the rigid old-timey gender roles he forces his orchestra members and singers to adopt in their syrupy presentation of classical music. Jesus, move with the times, man.
ReplyDeleteI kind of like the kitch
DeleteOne of my rules to live by is never ask a question you don’t Really Want/Need the answer to. Think very carefully before you ask.
ReplyDeleteweavinfool
it is a real fear isn't it
ReplyDeleteAsk, the worst that can happen, is what happens if you don't ask. Very good lesson.
ReplyDeleteIt takes practice
DeleteJohn, as you well know from your counseling work, this idea that we can't ask for what we want is forged in childhood. My sisters and I were told that to ask for anything was ungrateful, after all, there were people who didn't have what we had, and shame on us. A child is left, then, with no real way to figure out that they are worthy. This follows us into adulthood, and almost always is maladaptive, forcing us into this sort of rugged, stoic individualism, the "I don't need anyone" belief that keeps us from feeling connected with people. I've had to UN-learn that in therapy, and learn how to ask for help, learn it doesn't make me needy or ungrateful, and best of all, it allows those who love me, to show me how they love me when they help.
ReplyDeleteKarla well explained, we often return to our “go to” behaviour because it’s safe and what we know and it’s part of our knowledge of who we are
DeleteI picked up on that theme running through the film too. It infuriates me that people will not just say what they think, feel, need and want in plain English. If only we were only all brought up to speak out for ourselves, in a polite way of course. I was brought up constantly being told 'you can't say that Susan' .... so of course now that I am much, much older I just bloody well do. It held me back for so many years until I broke through the mental shackles.
ReplyDeleteUsually when it sounds like the fur kids are causing absolute mayhem you go upstairs or into the room they have been 'playing' in and find that everything is just fine, then the suspicious feeling makes you search everywhere and find nothing ... unless of course there was an almighty crash!!.
Saying what you think is often unsafe for some children , survival for some is to say what works….then when older those habits are hard to change
DeleteI've always been a helper but have learned to step back a bit when I am getting burnt out. Sometimes I feel guilty about that but then I am recharged and ready to help some more.
ReplyDeleteBeing a saver/ rescuer is not always useful
DeleteSay what you mean; mean what you say; don't say it mean.
ReplyDeleteAmen
DeleteYou're right, that WAS a theme in the film. I didn't really piece together that so many of the characters were wrestling with that -- and Andrea too, in several spots.
ReplyDeleteI’m happy others saw what I did
DeleteI don't remember the scene. I remember the movie being extremely mean-spirited and leaving most of the leads as irredeemable.
ReplyDelete