Spanish froth
Understanding why these behaviours develop is pivotal when exploring self awareness and tapping into old hurts, and losses and pain, much of it hidden away in locked boxes can be hugely emotional moments within therapy. Visceral and frightening, powerful and sometimes strangely wonderful.
I witnessed such a moment today. The client so upset that support staff had to be waved away when they came running “ to help”. I’m learning , that you have to “ ride the storm “ with your client and be the rock they can share with. Inside, every empathetic fibre has been stretched to its limits and your eyes well just a little with understanding tears but you remain stalwart and kind and strong and professional and hope that the “ah-ha” moment is not far away
If you are lucky you can talk the session through with your supervisor or colleague soon after, today I didn’t have the opportunity so I videoed my German friend who works from home .
“ vat can I do for you?” he asked not unkindly, but to the point.
“ Talk to me about some shitty 1980s movie you have seen recently” ( he is a movie geek and loves cheesy films)
Without asking why he launched into a review of some teen movie featuring aliens and busty cheerleaders and with a coffee in hand I decompressed and laughed and get bored with the light conversation until the ghosts of the session were dustered away
It's not something that I've ever really considered, John. That the counsellor experiences the emotions of their client, and some of those emotions and experiences are difficult and painful. Obvious, really. I don't know why it should come as a surprise to me! I'm glad you got to debrief with silliness and laughter and friendship. xx
ReplyDeleteYou have to be fully aware of your own history and ghosts so that they don’t affect your relationship with the client HH
DeleteTaking your emotions and work home with you is a far cry from hospice experiences but no less an emotional burden when you cannot talk with your supervisor on a fellow (well met?!). Bless those who can give each of us the feed-back we need to lighten our loads and your friend in Germany was just who you needed today,
ReplyDeleteHugs!
In the hospice support is always at hand, ( it’s up to you to access that , and that’s wise )
DeleteAn interesting insight into counselling and how the counsellor finds support for their work.
ReplyDeleteNot something I had thought about before. Thank you. ( ) Josie
Xxx you are welcome josie
DeleteYou’d have your work cut out with me squire xxx
ReplyDeleteLee
We are friends , I will keep my support on the next bar stool
Delete🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸😫😫
DeleteI did not know that the "debrief" was part of the counselling process. It makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI am glad your German friend was available to talk, laugh and decompress after a trying day.
Debrief , aka supervision is mandatory and part of the job of counsellor to do according to our two governing bodies . To practice you HAVE to pay for professional supervision every month and document it
DeleteI can understand how you need that after an intense session, John. I'll bet you're really, really good at your job. xx
ReplyDeleteI’m a work in progress Jennifer x
DeleteBusty cheerleaders do it for me too.
ReplyDeleteI bet they do you old lovable dyke xxx
DeleteThis post makes me hope anew that you will have the time to write a book one day. The best writing and the reader is no longer imagining, they’re there. Thank you John xx Jane
ReplyDeleteThat’s kind Jane , thank u
DeletePerfect choice of music. I’ve seen the eyes of a couple of therapists’ well up. It made me trust them and respect them more.
ReplyDeleteSharing emotion is a sign of trust my friend x
DeleteI did some intensive therapy when trying to "salvage" a bad relationship. Thankfully from where I sit now I understand why it was essential for that to end. As for crying, I mostly cried after I left my therapy sessions; but the moment I most tenderly recall was when I was revealing some hard secrets from my childhood, my therapist simply said, "That is bizarre." Three words that helped me understand my childhood better than any others ever had.
DeleteI’ve had therapy and it’s just as you’ve said ….a big moment followed by lots of unpicking
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Keith
Xx
Good for u x
DeleteI tend to bore friends talking about old movies and TV shows. When I saw a therapist, I shared with him all kinds of innermost secrets but no old movies or TV shows. I wonder what would have happened if I had.
ReplyDeleteWhen a pattern of behaviour is so entrenched, how on earth do you get them to change?
ReplyDeleteAwareness is the first step
DeleteIn reply to Cro, I think that the client themselves has to recognise and accept the patterns and problems. Then be willing to act to build life anew.
ReplyDeleteAm I correct in that?
Yes it’s not for me to lead or “ teach”
DeleteI've had many such moments in therapy, John. My therapist never "got out ahead of them," she just allowed me to express and feel the feelings. I've lovingly healed my inner children by allowing them to speak and to rage and hurt, because they were not allowed to as children. My healed self now has the skills and insight to be able to love and comfort my inner children should they be triggered. And it's my adult self who can do the talking and responding, rather than my inner children reacting. My God, I am so grateful for my therapist. You'll be changing lives, John.
ReplyDeleteI'm always impressed by the amount of practice that must go into that musical group's performances. They are always so perfect!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are helping others with your work and helping yourself too, John.
Your client/patient trusts you, enough to talk about the things that they never talk about, maybe even hide from themself. A sign that you are as good at this , as I knew you would be.
ReplyDeletePolice go through some very tough days too. We had a friend on the dock who would go nuts, drink too much and chase us up and down the dock trying to rip up our t shirts. We always knew that he had had a terrible thing to deal with. We would all just get laughing and it helped him get over it.. Gigi
ReplyDeleteDoes your "german friend" read your blog? Perhaps after reading that his converstion bores you he won't be your "friend" for much longer.
ReplyDeleteI think you should stop worrying about a relationship u haven’t got a clue about
DeleteRelationship? In your dreams perhaps
DeleteIt makes sense that the emotional pressure-cooker of a therapy session would affect the therapist too! Thank goodness your German friend was available to help you decompress with some '80s movie trivia. Weirdly, I can think of a couple of '80s movies that may have involved busty cheerleaders and aliens! It was that kind of a decade.
ReplyDelete