I dropped Leo off at Chester station this morning, grabbed a coffee at the Storyhouse and sat quietly underneath its art deco ceiling and the inspirational quotes by famous writers
Its a place to muse, if u need to as it is muted like a library which plays gentle music
I always feel a little deflated after there is noise in the cottage. Leo laughed a schoolboy laugh at everything the Welsh threw at him and being Autistic shared a different view of ordinary life which is totally unique and sometimes refreashing
He found my slightly feigned hatred of the Minecraft movie amusing and baffling.His obsession with his phone I realise is normal for most 22 year olds.
Im learning.
I feel unsettled.I dont want to returm to work even though im not due back for 10 days
I have some thinking to do
Ive ordered the harissa sausage breakfast its all protein and few carbs My sugars were 5.8 this morning.
Leo has just texted a formal thank you.he always refers to me as "uncle" something he will continue to do for years
Farewell Pope Leo and make sure you bring the predatory priests to justice! As for blood sugars, I did not know you could test them... I think I am at a similar stage to you.
ReplyDeleteMine were high Neil so needed monitoring
DeleteYour blood sugars are quite reasonable considering the weekend of food you have just had, well done. I always called my Aunty Barbara, Aunty, until her dying day. She asked me a few times to 'just call me Barbara' ... but some people you just look up to and they need a title of respect.
ReplyDeleteHe calls My ex his Godfather, he likes titles
DeleteThat sense of deflation, tinged with relief, after visitors is so real. Leo is a lovely young man, and his polite "Thank you" displays that. You and the rest of his family must be so proud of him. Re: blood sugars, is 5.8 good for you? As you know, it varies with time of day, as well as what you've eaten. So, if it's a bit higher than usual, no need to worry, just get back on the diet wagon! Hope the thinking has come up with some answers for you. xx
ReplyDelete5.8 is good
DeleteI know that let down feeling you get when alone again after having visitors that you haven’t seen for awhile. Glad you are still there for Leo, bad movies and all. The dogs will miss him too. I watch the teens walking to school together, all playing with a phone and probably texting each other! Gigi
ReplyDeleteYes, I had to stop several car conversations as he just didn’t hear me , so fixated he was on his phone
DeleteA sense of anticlimax is so normal after a delightful visit from someone the entire household loves. I am just back from a visit to my inlaws in Norfolk. Too hot to do much but when you live alone that feeling of new energy, just the little everyday sounds of someone else there, even when working in another room, is simple human contact, something you are not aware of missing until it's not there, but is oddly reassuring when it is. I am comfortable living alone, but sometimes the feel of the silence and stillness around my home needs to be broken. And then it is. And the soul sways a bit.
ReplyDeleteI love looking after a guest, it pleases me
DeleteA good visit, is one that you feel when it ends. Money and work, a challenging balance. It may take a while to build the counseling practice up to the point that it replaces the income from nursing. Taper hours, ask for days only?
ReplyDeleteI wish you were here to talk to David
DeleteDo I remember correctly? Leo is the nephew of your ex husband? What a cool connection and relationship you have with him. I was mentally prepared to live alone after Ray died, but I am not and I am enjoying the company of my tenants, lodgers if you like.
ReplyDeleteYes Andrew , Leo was born a few years into my relationship with his true uncle,
DeleteI’ve always known him
It's always something of an empty feeling when visitors leave, especially if they're the young and energetic sort. Leo is the perfect age. Under-6s can be exhausting.
ReplyDeleteHe’s 22 but like most men of that age , he’s really 16
DeleteIt does feel so empty when a place has been mentally and physically full..even with just the addition of one person.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are ready for a change in work.certainly in the work pattern at the very least, if not a change of employment after your successful studies.
Your hours would be challenging for anyone of any age. Now with added health problems which you look to be on top of, yes you do need to sit back and re-think your path xx
Thank you , and your comment has outlined my thinking , I need to review things regarding long shifts, night shifts and health issues but I need to be pragmatic and mindful of money
DeleteTime to review options, is it? Please leave room for the options you haven't discovered yet. (And please leave room for us, along for the adventure!)
ReplyDeleteBeth you are right, I need to be be mindful yet very pragmatic ! Thank you for picking up on it , you and lee
DeleteThe quiet after a fun weekend.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a good week, John. xo
I did thank you
DeleteI bet the dogs feel Leo's absence much as you do.
ReplyDeleteYes. Sounds like it's time to do some thinking.
No they are both fast asleep, but a new energy in the house invigorated them
DeleteThere's always a period of adjustment after a visit like that. I'm glad you got to spend time with him.
ReplyDeleteMe too, I do find it exhausting and expensive and I know there’s at least one film I will hate, but I do enjoy him comming and wanting to come. And his relationship with the dogs , who suddenly adore him, is rather moving
DeleteI love your Leo visits.
ReplyDeleteHe’s already booked next year
DeleteHaving Leo in your life is wonderful. He's a lovely young man.
ReplyDeleteNew beginnings are always a mix of feelings and emotions. It is a big transition. You've got this John. Hold that thought.
There’s a few changes afoot me thinks
DeleteI think this young man is so lucky to have you in his life. You getting called Uncle is very touching.
ReplyDeleteI do love it
DeleteIf you are in need of more noise in your cottage, may I recommend a six year old boy:) They're full of questions, never stop talking, and they know everything.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you two had a good visit.
Never
DeleteI used to babysit affable despot Jason’s daughters when they were 8 and 11. I loved it but when they had gone home, I had to have a lie down in a darkened room
Ah, a wonderful visit with Leo that again cements the joyful relationship you two share, Uncle John. Sweet.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
It’s nice to be needed
DeleteThere's a twinge of that let-down every Monday morning after my son Emil has been here for a weekend and I remember he's gone home.
ReplyDeleteI like “ looking after” someone
DeleteAlthough it’s exhausting sometimes,
And expensive lol !!!
So glad you & Leo had such a wonderful weekend together!
ReplyDelete🩷🥂ðŸŽ
DeleteI have a feeling your restlessness is work related
ReplyDeleteLee
I have a feeling you may be right
DeleteKnew it, high five
DeleteLeexx
Smartarse
DeleteOf course you are "uncle" and the very best kind.
ReplyDeleteI have real nephews which I’m fond of but who I don’t see very often . They are older too, two in their fifties
DeleteI do find that interesting as I also have 2 nephews in their fifties.
DeleteEmbrace your unclehood!
ReplyDeleteI have three blood nephews and a step nephew all are older , some almost my own age
DeleteSounds like you gave him a great weekend and how lovely that he wants to spend time with you . It takes a while to settle back into single life after family have gone back home.
ReplyDeleteI know 🤪🥲🌈🩷
DeleteThank you grandad Roger x
ReplyDeleteMy 23 year-old grandson is autistic. He lives with a roommate in Austin, TX, and works as a food runner at a hip movie theater that serves dinner. He is so personable and outgoing and his fellow workers (and boss) love him. He has an encyclopedic memory for movies, actors, and plots. RFK, Jr. recently said autistic individuals would "never have a job or pay taxes" and they need to be in a national "registry", which has overtones of eugenics. Over my dead body, RFK.
ReplyDeleteRFK is an arse
DeleteI have a nephew I haven't seen for decades but he generously agreed to take all my old family records and photographs off my hands so the package (14.3 pounds of it!) is in the mail to him.
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice to have someone to carry on the good work
DeleteHang Tough There Brother Man - Hopefully The Birthday With Leo Was Delightful - Enjoy The Rest Of Your Time Off For Sure - Most Of My Comments In This Digital World Disappears Into The Blogging Graveyard - If You See This , Great !!! If Not , I Tried
ReplyDeleteStay Strong ,
Cheers
The Padre
Cheers matey xx
DeleteIt sounds like you both enjoyed one another's company.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can come to a resolution about your return to work. Xx
Me too
DeleteIt’s such a special bond. So glad you’ve maintained the connection. I have one aunt still living. She’s 88. Out of respect, I still call her Aunt. That’s been her first name my entire life.
ReplyDeleteGood for u my friend xxx
DeleteMy niece will visit me on Sunday, and I share in your excitement and then dread at her leaving.
ReplyDeletelol xx lovely
DeleteI find there's always a letdown after a special visit, it seems to underscore one's usual isolation and loneliness. And not wanting to go back to work seems normal, you work so very hard, at such unappealing hours, it's a long drive, and well, you must daily deal with death. I hope in the next ten days you find some medical answers and treatment for your odd one sided weakness.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy each moment, best you can.
Tell Leo your fans love him!
lizzy
PS not just 22 year olds who are fixated n their phones, I went to a dinner party last week, forgot my phone--was besides myself. And I haven't been 22 for quite a while.
That made me laugh x
DeleteIt's great that you both enjoyed the company and the dogs did no doubt too. When you have a visitor no matter for how long when they leave there is always a bit of their energy left over which slowly fades; and then you are left with that soft void. After all of your hard work with studies and the very exciting end result it doesn't come as any surprise that you may be looking for different avenues to explore rather than nights and long days and shifts. After all you took the next step... there are many more to come but a balance is needed until you are self sufficient in the counselling side. It's maintaining that balance that will be the next challenge.
ReplyDeleteIt’s all about energy
DeleteBurnout is real. Health issues are real. Do you have other options now that you have finished your counselling course or .. do you need to find somewhere to practise? Stay positive and keep moving toward that goal 🤜 CeeCee
ReplyDeleteI share that sadness when a loved visitor leaves and normality returns.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can rebalance your work life so that there is enough money coming in but you protect your health and energy. Not just physical energy. It's so difficult.
My niece in Australia is late 30's but in communications she always writes"Aunty Carole". Even on Instagram posts! I find it quite touching.
ReplyDeleteFamily of 14 for me, 6 girls, 6 boys and my parents. My oldest sister was married and had a daughter before my Mom had her last children…..twin boys! As such, my Niece has two Uncles who are younger than her! Kind of different! Kathy
ReplyDelete