A Handbag!

 A woman in a polished BMW drove into my parking space at Tesco’s in Llandudno Junction at lunchtime. I was waiting patiently for the spot after a dreaded 3 hour fire lecture at work 
And was hoping for a quick get in /get out scenario. 
She was wearing sun glasses too, 
On an overcast day! 
My dander was up
She waved gayly, shrieking insincerity 
That was until I yelled 
“Cheap Outfit !!! ( I couldn’t see her shoes ) 
And as she spun around to argue , I batted in my next insult of “ Goes with yer handbag !” With  gay abandon
Okok I was on thin ice as I was dressed in my useful and terribly over used blue Christmas Jumper, but I thought I’d take the chance
The handbag shot was an aside…but I could tell that it had hit home
as she scrabbled to see which one she had picked up

I will leave you with the adorable lisping choir




55 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:42 pm

    Fire lecture? But was it led by real fire fighters? 🤩 Kath x

    ReplyDelete
  2. What is it about the season of peace and goodwill, that brings out the selfishness in some? She deserved the cheap handbag jibe. And a three hour fire lecture - I feel your pain! Why was I expecting the lisping choir to be dressed as Santa or elves?🧑‍🎄 xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could have let it go,
      I should have let it go

      I didn’t let it go

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10:23 pm

      It’s Christmas , play nicely everyone , I must admit I did laugh at the my parking space line.
      I often have a my parking space that someone else borrows 😂

      Delete
    3. I meant she was being selfish, not you John. Didn't phrase it well! xx

      Delete
  3. She probably had an urgent appointment with her manicurist or tattoo artist so needed to do a quick Tesco foie gras and oysters shop on the way.

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  4. Haha ... absolutely brilliant. Good for you. xx

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  5. Hahahaha
    Oh, I love it!!

    XOXO

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  6. Anonymous3:09 pm

    Can we book you for our nearest Waitrose !! Plenty of targets there !! Xx Bernie

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  7. Anonymous3:24 pm

    Comment for your troll
    DONT YOU FUCKING DARE !!!!

    Lee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9:19 pm

      I eat trolls John !!

      Leexxxx

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2:36 pm

      I very much doubt I'd want to be eaten by you

      Delete
    3. Anonymous3:48 pm

      Why do you encourage the trolls lee?

      Delete
  8. Entitled people irritate the shit out of me. Well done John.

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    Replies
    1. It was the Eve and laugh that got me going

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  9. You said that your dander was up. What exactly is a "dander"? I hope it's not what I am thinking it might be.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous5:21 pm


      "My dander is up" is an informal idiom that means you are angry or have lost your temper:
      "Her rudeness really got my dander up".
      "The boxer finally got his dander up and went after his opponent with a vengeance".
      The term "dander" is a synonym for dandruff, and the expression alludes to the idea that you are so angry that it has caused dandruff to fall off your scalp. The word was first used in writing in America in 1831“

      Keith
      Xx

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the explanation Keith. Most helpful.

      Delete
  10. Barbara Anne4:54 pm

    Perfect, just the right come-back at just the right time to call her out for her outrageous behavior! Shame on all parking place thieves and they know who they are.
    A Fire Lecture?

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest it wasn’t. Big deal , I felt like blowing

      Delete
  11. I love your salty comments, Johnno!

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    Replies
    1. You have to say what you think sometimes

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  12. How do they come up with three hours worth of info on fire?
    Some people are so entitled. Good for you...calling her out.

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  13. Anonymous6:05 pm

    Way to go John, gave her something to ponder! I hate those entitled drivers. Gigi

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  14. I don't miss those trainings, hours of your life you will never get back, telling you things you either already knew, or never will know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it’s all mandatory …but I could claim the time

      Delete
  15. I could just see this in my mind's eye as you described it! Haha! She had it coming. I hate parking spot stealers.

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    Replies
    1. I haven’t had an argument for an age, I was long overdue

      Delete
  16. Love your vivid descriptions!

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    Replies
    1. The air was vivid too….or should I say livid

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  17. You should have barged Bluebell right ahead of her, give her and the shiny BMW a challenge and wipe that smirk off her face. Poor you! Did this make your blood pressure soar? Where did you park?

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    Replies
    1. Bluebell wouldn’t have made a dent lol

      Delete
  18. Sounds like the time to emulate Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes. Towanda!

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    Replies
    1. Do I look like Kathy gates ?
      DONT ANSWER THAT !
      Lol

      Delete
    2. Traveller11:50 am

      You should see her now in Matlock…she looks fantastic.

      Delete
  19. And a Merry Chri(th)ma(th), to you too, John!

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  20. Made my day, didn't think I would see that in action...but two hoots and a dilly bar for your gumption!

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  21. Anonymous12:04 am

    I bet she be-bopped back to the house to change her outfit and purse! PS, I bet she is up for a lump of coal this Christmas. Jen

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  22. Entitled people suck!

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  23. Anonymous12:43 am

    You are adorable when you get your dander up. Sharon in Colorado

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  24. Great insult. She'll be pissed off for days...lol

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  25. I have become very protective over my parking space at Sainsbury's. It's crazy, but it quite upsets me if I see some bastard is already parked there. I feel your pain.

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  26. MarisAna6:16 am

    Hope it had the desired effect. Hate those scenes over parking spaces when someone pushes in. Not very British - or is it these days?

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  27. Seasons greetings old lad, tis a goodly while since I have wandered the ol’ blogosphere but here I am once more.
    Ah the delights of the entitled driver, I still stick to my late father’s advice with regard to any other driver on the road.. “expect them all to be idiots, incapable, arseholes or all three and you wont go wrong”
    Love the comeback by the way.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes