One of my strengths is being able to deal with families that are going through trauma, loss and stress.
It would be a poor showing, that after 41 years of nursing , that I didn’t know what my strengths and weaknesses were.
I had a hard night at work last night.one with much emotion and I knew that only for the fact I fell asleep, and deeply asleep on the couch when I returned home. Luckily I had set my phone alarm for eleven , for that was the time I’d promised to take a neighbour to the dentist , but I was so deeply asleep, it took me an age to even react to the alarm tinkle let alone get my arse off the couch.
Sleep, and heavy REM asleep , it has been shown , is the major panacea to stress and trauma, and for me, it’s something I can access pretty effectively, if I have to.
At 1 pm there was a call over the kitchen wall. It was old Trefor’s niece.
Trefor had died yesterday after being taken ill suddenly.
Moments later Animal Helper Pat, called over the wall with the same news.
Osmosis of information in a small village.
Effective and insidious.
Pat had more news too with two more deaths of Trelawnyd residents to report.
Both I knew but not as well as Trefor.
It feels a grey day
There is no food in the house, so I’m off out to shop
I’m making beef stew for supper,
With dumplings, I need dumplings today
This photo of the village was taken around 1925
Trefor is the baby being carried behind the bus
A long life book-ended with emotive images
ReplyDelete99 years
DeleteSad when one of the stalwarts of a community goes.
ReplyDeleteHopefully there are others developing into his place..but few stay in one place all their lives now.
I wish I could switch off and sleep deeply
I don’t aim to move anywhere new, but who knows
DeleteThat surprises me John, I thought you may want to move somewhere in the city when you finally retire
DeleteLee
No, but I understand why you say that , I need to access the city regularly to feel “ in the loop” so to speak
DeleteSad to hear about Trefor. You were a good and helpful friend to him in his old age.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was my pleasure
DeleteSorry to hear about your community's loss. It's amazing to have a historic photo featuring Trefor as a baby!
ReplyDeleteHe has his own chapter in my history blog , he liked that
DeleteCondolences to all who knew, loved and respected Trefor. xx
ReplyDeleteThat’s kind
DeleteSo sad to hear about Trefor, he seemed such a stalwart of the village, but also remarkable to see that lovely photo with him as a classic baby in arms. So will never be forgotten.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had such a draining night. So much emotion followed by restorative deep sleep can be very disorientating. But at least just sleep and not nightmares. Sometimes twenty four hours just contain too much of everything. But dumplings will do you good!
The dumplings were stodgy and bloody lovely
Delete00hh! Perfection. I expect a tupperware full in the post.....
DeleteSad news about Trefor. I believe he was 99 when you took him to the village coffee morning last September. Did he make it to 100?
ReplyDeleteNo he didn’t YP , he never liked a fuss
DeleteI hope you got some good comfort food to deal with all this trauma.
ReplyDeleteThe stew will last me three days , it was bloody lovely
DeleteSad news for all who knew Trefor and draining for you after a hard shift. Stew and dumplings and a good night's sleep in bed should help.
ReplyDeleteI’ve slept in short bursts this evening , ten minutes here , half an hour there and feel wide awake
DeleteSorry about all the loss. So glad you can sleep and recharge. That final photo is so incredibly touching.
ReplyDeleteHe was very proud of that photo
DeleteMy sympathy to all who loved dear Trefor and the 2 others who died. What a life rich in experiences and long friendships he had.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad most of your work shifts aren't as wrenching as last night's shift. Good you could sleep - but wakd for your friend's dental appt.
The cottage will smell divine with that stew cooking and what a delicious and sustaining meal it will make!
Hugs!
I add garlic and fresh parsley to my dumplings , they smell diving
DeleteDivine
DeleteHe looks a lovely old boy and a lovely young boy in the pictures. Gosh, fancy spending your whole life in one small village. RIP old chap x.
ReplyDeleteStew with dumplings, now you're talking. I'll be round, should only take me about 6+ hours, if l set off now! Tess x
I made enough for six
DeleteMay the memories of Trefor be a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
ReplyDeleteGlad you were able to rest, recharge a bit, take your neighbor to the dentist, and food shop. Beef stew with dumplings sounds the perfect warming & comforting food.
Be kind and gentle with yourself, John dear.
It’s been a productive day despite the sleeps
DeleteTrefor sounded a great gentleman John - You were a good friend to him - I think his spirit may live on in the village x
ReplyDeleteHe was good to me too flis
DeleteThe loss of a good neighbor is a hard thing. You two looked out for each other - there needs to be more of that in this world. Godspeed, Trefor.
ReplyDeleteI remember our last serious conversation with affection
Deletehttps://disasterfilm.blogspot.com/2023/09/trefor.html
I loved this story.
DeleteHis acceptance of you as a gay man was moving
And perhaps rare given his age
Keith
Xx
I was moved by his loyalty to me too
DeleteI like that John, he was your supporter
DeleteKeith
Xx
He was my friend too
DeleteR.I.P Trefor, many condolences to your village and all who knew Trefor and cared for him. Sad when stalwarts die.
ReplyDeleteBeef stew and dumplings sounds just the ticket to keep you warm and recharge your soul. Sleeping soundly like that is a thing of the past for me I fear. Waking up groggy and disorientated after such a deep sleep I find very unnerving,
The. More stressful the shift the deeper I will sleep
DeleteIt must be a time of sorrow for quite a few folks in your village, may you feel peace by comforting each other,
ReplyDeleteMary
The other chap was a popular guy too his name was Hubert and he was the village baker . He was a similar age
DeleteWhat a great photo for Trefor's family to have. Did he ever leave the village? People sometimes have negative attitudes towards others who have stayed put but Trefor would be an example of living a full and rich life where he was planted..
ReplyDeleteHe never married, but he worked in electronics what’s now aerospace on the border for many years. , as a young man out of the army he travelled Northern Europe and Scandinavia on his Motorbike.
DeleteI am sorry to ear of Trefor's passing. Was just thinking of him, did he reach age 100?
ReplyDeleteI am making beef stew too this week. But not dumplings, can you describe how you make them? I rem my mom making them, very comforting, sop up all the nice gravy. But in my older childhood she stopped making them, too many useless carbs/ white flour, she was very weight focused.
150 self raising flour
Delete70 g suet
Salt
Herbs dry or real
Add 3 table spoons of water ( more if needed)
Kneed into wet dough
Arrange into 6 balls
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI looked the unfamiliar ingredients up, thanks
DeleteSo sorry to hear of Trefor’s death. It seems to me that you two were good for each other. Gigi
ReplyDeleteHe was a friend x
DeleteRIP Trefor. He will be remembered fondly.
ReplyDeleteIndeed
DeleteInsidious seems a strange word to use when talking about a villager dying and that information being passd on. What was insidious about him?
ReplyDeleteInsidious was NOTHING at all about him but about the way news is transmitted. …fool!
DeleteI thought insidious was a strange word to use as well What a wonderful picture and what a sad loss for you village
Delete"Definition of insidious. adjective. working or spreading in a hidden and usually injurious way". It's the "injurious" that's puzzling people I suppose.
DeleteBut no one’s actually confused, right? The context makes the meaning perfectly clear.
Delete“The term for the habit of correcting others' grammar is "grammar pedantry". It is a form of language policing or language snobbery and is considered unhelpful and even rude.
Everyone makes mistakes, and it is more important to understand the meaning of what someone is saying, rather than focusing on minor grammatical errors.”
And, Rest In Peace, Trefor. Condolences on your loss, John. ❤️
DeletePedant - the fact that you pull someone up for their comment shows you to be a pompous arsehole.
DeleteWhat about people who continually pull someone up for their blog posts?
DeleteThe fact that you pull someone up for their blogpost (repeatedly) shows you to be the same...
DeleteSad about Trefor's sudden passing. Condolences to family and friends.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly long life. Sudden passing so much better than days in hospital.
Kind regards at the death of your friend & neighbor. Living in community such as you do brings you close to your neighbors. You feel the loss.
ReplyDeleteKathy near Chicago. Sorry to hear of your friends passing. I know you will remember him fondly. Great about your deep sleep. This dreary, drizzly, cold, dirty snow time of year is bad for me….sleep is hard to come by and my mood is beginning to match the weather. Your dinner sound great. I made a homemade chicken pot pie and bread just to have something to do. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your friend. By his picture, he looks like a man content to watch life from Trelawnyd. I know you will miss Trefor.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, sorry to hear about Trefor. Before Christmas I bought suet for making dumplings, and still haven't made any.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to read of your friend Trefor's death, and also of the other villagers. He seems like a dear friend and will be missed. A very grey day.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the loss of your friend. He was lucky to have you as a friend.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of Trefor's passing but he did reach a great age. I remember many of your posts that touched on him. The two photos are lovely.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of Trefor's death. He was a good friend to you and a loyal man.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself.
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ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your friend Trefor. Sounds like he had a long and good life. Glad you can get your sleep when you need it, John. x
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. Loved the old photograph at the end.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about Trefor. Jackie
So sorry for your loss, John. Your tribute to Trefor, Trelawnyd, and life are perfect. Thank you for sharing. Hope your stew is comforting. xo Julie
ReplyDelete