SRA




We treat each other on nights. The night before last, Di brought in bespoke chilli scotch eggs from Conwy 
Hand grenades of beautiful flavour.
Last night I brought in watermelon and mango and left them in the car.
I’m not pretending it was busy.
It wasn’t 
I read a lot about the use of visualisation in pain relief, in between patient care
And I’ve booked tickets to The Play That Goes Wrong, a guided tour around the famous Liverpool Liver Building , tickets for a welsh play Celebrated Virgins ( About the famous Ladies of Llangollen) 
Oh and I’ve finally found a suitable shabby chic hotel for Gorgeous Dave and I to stay in when we are in Rome.( 2 bedrooms rooms, en suite near the Vatican City)….all very La Dolce Vita


I've helped training up a student nurse recently and have asked him to listen to other experienced palliative care nurses in the weeks he’s been with us . " Pick and choose those interactions you hear nurses give their patients !" I advised " Be sure to steal them for your own interactions !"We all steal words and phrases we hear others use.
Sometimes those words have such resonance they burn themselves in your own vocabulary for life.
All of us sponges...for the different, the funny.....the pertinent.

In the late 90s I nursed a somewhat taciturn man for many months.
He was a formidable character, every inch a stereotypical policeman from say a 1970s tv drama...butch, unsmiling and ever slightly distant....think Valquez from Aliens and you'll get where I'm coming from.
He was difficult to engage and only seemed to perk up when he was visited by his police colleagues both male and women.
One policeman that visited seemed to be more smiley and less frivolous than the other visitors and I suspected with my gaydar at full beep that they may have been closeted lovers.
One day, when the visitor was leaving, I noticed my patient murmur " S R A" almost under his breath and this three letter goodbye was noticeably used too as a greeting after several visitations .
A week or who later , when I was teaching the patient how to manage his own bladder I asked him if I could ask a personal question and given the intimacy of the situation he surprisingly agreed , albeit gruffly.
"When your mate comes to visit ....what does SRA mean?"
I busied myself with preparing the nursing equipment as he looked at me squarely and after a long pause he said carefully
" It means a Sudden Rush of Affection!"

A hidden code between lovers

70 comments:

  1. What does this mean, please?
    "sli butch"
    I can't imagine remembering phrases and conversations to reuse. It must be a learned ability. You have mentioned this man and SRA before. How sad that he had to hide his love, tho maybe they enjoyed their own lovers' code?

    PS Why did you leave the night's snack fruits in the car?

    lizzy

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    1. Typo.
      And apologies for recycling ,I sometimes forget if I’ve already told a story or not

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    2. No problem, I don't mind repeats. Ijust rem feeling sad for the older gay men.

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    3. Don’t feel sad for us, we feel sad enough for ourselves lol.

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  2. SRA, that's lovely.

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    1. It was sweet, I. Remember thinking so

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  3. Lovely story about the policeman and his code. And oooo, the Ladies of Llangollen -- I'd love to see that play! Such famous lesbians!

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    1. Yes I’ve booked to see it with a lesbian friend who bust a gut to go

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  4. What a great thing he shared with you. And for you to share with us means that in a way, their love lives on in that shared memory. Thank you.

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    1. I wonder if he thought he had done the right thing after the fact

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  5. A lot of wisdom here John. I hope your Student Nurse appreciates you.

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    1. I wasn’t his mentor , now she was a class act

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  6. What a marvelous story!

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  7. Barbara Anne4:13 am

    "All of us sponges ..." so true as young nurses try to learn all there is to learn from more experienced nurses. It's gold and it's deep.
    Ta for sharing this, John.
    Oh, and the 22 was our 50th anniversary!

    Hugs!

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    1. I like thinking of myself as a sponge
      I still am , I know as I am always stealing phrases and ways of approaching issues from people with better skills

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    2. Happy Anniversary Barbara Anne, I hope you had a wonderful day.
      John was too busy thinking of himself being a sponge to notice your full message.

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  8. That was good advice for the student nurse. It's great how we are such social creatures and how we interact with each other. Makes everything so much richer. Including language.

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    1. I try to get junior staff ,( both medical and nursing) to listen to each other. I am a big reflector , reflecting when something has been done particularly well.
      This is vital in homing our communication skills

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  9. Anonymous5:54 am

    Nice to hear you take your money and do nothing all night
    What a charity!!!

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    1. Oh get lost Anon. Nursing like so many jobs, is swings and roundabouts, and the busy, crazy times don't gt paid any better.

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    2. Just to answer you Anon, the two patients we have were asleep and comfortable , more patients are due in

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    3. Good to see you being honest about your work John. More patients on the conveyor belt of death.

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    4. What an unpleasant phrase

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    5. "More patients due in" sounded like you treat them as a commodity, another delivery, which is why I said conveyor belt of death.

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    6. I may need to clarify things a little here
      Although essentially Rachel is right her words paint a slightly skewed picture of hospice life.
      40 % of admissions are care at the end of life, but the majority of our patients either go home, or go to another facility , often depending on the patients own wishes.
      The majority of out patients come in for symptom control ( control of their disease effects or treatment effects: again many of these patients go home.
      We also offer respite care for not only terminal patients but with patients with chronic conditions . These respite patients often just come in for a week before returning home.
      Respite care can be given for months indeed years.
      I suppose if you look the the phrase “ conveyor belt of death”
      It is just a euphemism for life ,
      But like life , hospice care is also a out life and how well it is lived

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    7. “More patients due in” does not infer at all that I treat patients as a commodity
      It’s a statement of fact ,

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    8. Ah, thank you for the explanation in the long comment. I am glad to hear it from you.

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  10. What a great tip, John, listening for the wisdom of the more experienced.

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    1. We all do that me thinks

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    2. Absolutely, but don't you often find the best advice is capturing something that is already there so it is freshly accessible to the mind? Beats things that sound good but make no sense in practice every time!

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  11. I feel for all those, past and present, who aren't able to express their love for another openly. I've met quite a few nurses who could do with taking your advice. Those who treat their patients with scant regard for the person. I've also met those who have such empathy, inherent in many cases, nurtured by excellent mentors such as you. SRA, John. xx

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    1. I think secret codes are rather lovely

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  12. You should watch Joanna Lumley in Rome. I was watching it last night. Lots of good advice about a Rome visit.

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    1. I saw it. And have a few ideas from it , except making my own pizza

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    2. I saw that too-I recall Chef was very masterful x

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    3. Trust you…he was very attractive too

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  13. Secret codes between 'close' friends are like verbal love letters. How nice he felt comfortable enough with you to share.
    The Play That Goes Wrong. Take tissues. You will cry with laughter. My tummy actually hurt.

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    1. As he was about to die he had nothing to lose really did he?

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    2. He was a spinally injured patient , he’s probably still alive

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    3. Oh, not a hospice in-mate; I forgot it was an old story.

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  14. Replies
    1. I use the phrase to this day ( sparingly)

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  15. That's a useful abbreviation (SRA) to remember. If I'm ever in the mood to use it truthfully it'll be for something I've never experienced.......yet.

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  16. A beautiful post to remember John.

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  17. I was looking at the plate that the Scotch Eggs are on. Elephants?

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    1. Indeed ….an old plate left by an old nurse no doubt

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  18. That is one to remember. Rome, oh how fun. The most predictable thing about Rome, if you can't predict anything. Often the best food is a couple of blocks off the beaten path.

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    1. And less expensive I’ve been told…

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  19. My daughter and I have a little code of love for each other. She texted me once and accidentally hit nbn near the space bar on the keyboard before she hit "send". I asked her what she meant and she said it was a typo but I replied, "no, you meant "nothing but net" which is a basketball phrase. So since then we always end our messages with "nbn". Goofy but our own code that makes us smile!

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  20. SRA is a lovely shared code. Mentoring is so helpful, all careers should include mentors. Those scotch eggs are gigantic. Eating one of them leaves no room for desert.

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    1. Dessert unless you were looking for a mouthful of sand. I think that the sausage meat is far too thick and dense on those Scotch eggs anyway.

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    2. I wonder if John may prefer his more substantial x

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    3. Oh dear flis , more benny hill

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    4. I know - just remove me x

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    5. Anonymous2:59 am

      Except you have previously lol

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    6. Oh No-do you remember the time and date of said procedure?x

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  21. Oh, what we learn from those who've gone before us. A nursing aide once told me, a new nursing grad - when you're not sure what to do, do nothing. Stop and think. Always, there are only so many things to do. Then do them. AK - angel kiss.

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  22. "SRA" -- very touching! Your student nurse is learning some important tips from you, it sounds like.

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  23. Not so much stealing as learning from others. It's the best way!

    I love the SRA story. An acronym we use around here is PLU - people like us (meaning other gay people). Don't need it so much anymore, thank goodness, as many people are out.

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  24. We saw 'A Play Goes Wrong' in London. We thought it was hilarious. I hope you enjoy it too.

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    1. I've seen it before but it's so fast it's Wirth a second look

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  25. Anonymous6:04 am

    My husband and I sign messages/cards with TMD from the movie

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