Friend with Benefits

I’m going to London for a flying visit next week.

I’m meeting my friend Alex who lives in Poland.

We are going out to eat, we are going to the National Theatre and he’s sharing my hotel room 

in the nice trendy hotel in Covent Garden.

We are, after last years meet ups ..what is unfortunately termed friends with benefits 

Something my gay mate Dave rolled his eyes rather theatrically at.

“ Now John”, (Dave gave me lecture over the phone) “ one of the rules of friends with benefits is that you never have a sleepover,” 

I didn’t know that rule.

More eye rolling from Dave 

He helpfully listed the rules for me 

“make sure you are emotionally adult for this relationship…..don’t be lovely dovey, set boundaries, don’t expect too much, prioritise friendship over sex, don’t fall in love”

I listened with interest 

Now I’m not Mary Poppins people, and I’m not a fool either. I like Alex as a friend and I like him as a FwB but it’s clear we will never be anything more than that and I’m ok with that 

But Dave knew something else was bothering me

“ What’s up babe?” He asked 

I told him I’ve not shared a bed overnight with someone who fancies me and whom I fancy since my separation 

“ Arrhhuh the first non platonic OVERNIGHT bed share !” Dave laughed “How sweet! “ 

As a Single gay man of a certain age , it’s not that hard to have sex if you want it….hard sometimes but often not THAT hard.

Like I said I’m not Mary Poppins in this respect but nor am I Claudius’ Messalina or indeed Don Juan.

But Dave hit on a nerve..sharing a bed all night is a different thing than rolling about on a cotton duvet for an hour before saying your goodbyes.

Dave gave me the best advice anyhow 

“ Darling man ….enjoy your evening , try not to snore, share a hot shower  …don’t think too much……… oh and don’t dribble gravy on your top”

He knows me very well

Hey ho