Four dogs and a small cottage often means chaos if you are not ordered and you think like a human.
The secret of controlling canines is that you have to think like one.
With a selection of workmen in and out of the house, the first rule is to prepare them and not the dogs.
I always check first, if they " know" dogs and second if they are nervous of dogs. Thus armed I can get introductions over with.
Winnie this morning....and every morning
Winnie and Mary have to greet everyone, before they settle. Greeting means jumping and cuddling and in Winnie's case kissing but the rule is always I go through the door first, dogs always follow second it's the same rule I have with them when exiting the car. Dogs NEVER leave a car without permission.
William, sleeping with his blind eye open
William and George will greet visitors in their own time. George will bark loudly which often puts fear into the more nervous of workmen but as long as they are warned they will pet him and William politely before the dogs start to lose interest.
Then it is time for the dogs to be removed except for when the tiler is working as he has already said he rather enjoys Winnie's lugubrious company.
Other rules for dog control are
Keep verbal instructions to a minimum, dogs understand tone more than words
Never EVER tap a female bulldog on the vulva with your slippered foot- thinking her reaction is amusing-- she will NEVER forget the experience and will try and masturbate with you at every opportunity ( Prof please note)
Be consistent,
Only scold them immediately after bad behaviour never later.
Ignoring dogs for at least a minute a day especially when you regroup with the pack keeps them on their toes and clear that you are the boss.
George in his dog cave
Damp, day dreaming Mary
The final rule for happy well adjusted dogs is keep them fed, watered and in your company . They are pack animals and need their leader around
And what about Albert? I know, he is a cat he does what he bloody well wants.
ReplyDeleteTraveller
Absolutely
DeleteAlbert's rules.....feed me keep me warm feed me
That is one of the reasons I am a cat person. Cats think humans are quite useful domesticated animals.
DeleteAs a former schoolteacher I can say with some authority that your dog rules could easily be applied to schoolchildren too - especially:-
ReplyDeleteBe consistent,
Only scold them immediately after bad behaviour never later.
I would have made a good dad
DeleteYou could be my daddy ( sugar)��
DeleteGood advice, John. Winnie is adorable! Well, all of them are. Our young BullPei Betty looks so 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' when she's asleep...not so much when she's awake and running around the house with dad's slipper in her mouth, stopping occasionally to glance round with a 'here I am, just look how cheeky i'm being, come and catch me' look on her face.
ReplyDeleteJohn from next door has been putting up lights for me in the kitchen whist Winnie rubbed her fanny on the new kitchen units
DeleteThat is one of my favourite Larsen cartoons. The other is two cars passing each other in New York as a nuclear mushroom cloud rises up. Everyone is in utter panic, but the dogs are looking longingly at the other as they pass in the cars. That is so true to life!
ReplyDeleteLarsen understands dogs...and fat ladies with strange spectacles
DeleteAnd missing cats wedged between the cracks of their arses...
DeleteIt was a very small dog!
Deletewell said...pity more dog owners don't learn dog ways and expect them to act human
ReplyDeleteDog owners need training in my view
DeleteI don't think that well behaved dogs as Winnie, George, William and Mary ever need scolding.
ReplyDeleteGreetings Maria x
Winnie can get too excited .mary can play fight too much
DeleteAs far as Rick is concerned Paul is the alpha in the pack and I'm just the soft touch.
ReplyDeleteAnd third in the pecking order!
DeleteI'm the alpha in this house. When we go to agility training, the trainer laughs as we have to split the dogs and they look at me to see if it ok to go with her, touch my hand and then do what they are told.
Deletedo they all have crates?
ReplyDeleteNo just Mary . It's a place she is put when I go out without her as she has squeezed through the cat flap on occasion . All the dog like sleeping in the crate from time to time
DeleteLovely photo's of the dogs and good sound advice for dog owners. Gosh Mary has really grown up now - whatever happened to the puppy stage? She looks to be a good natured girl (that's probably got a lot to do with being brought up correctly). As for cats, well that advice or any advice probably would not work. I've got three and they just do their own thing. It's just a matter, like you say, of feed me, keep me warm, feed me and we'll have a cuddle when we decide we want one.
ReplyDeleteCat are certainly easier..dogs are like toddlers
DeleteEvery dog we've ever owned had their own distinct personality... just like people!
ReplyDeleteAgreed...Mary = hyperactive, hunter + friendly
DeleteGeorge , stubborn, loyal, wary
William . Gentle and sweetnatured
Winnie Buster Keaton masturbator
I think you’ve got it covered . . ,
ReplyDeleteThe final rule holds the truth!
(BTW . . . great post . . .)
Thanks lynne
DeleteThey all look so sweet and happy.
ReplyDeleteThey are
DeleteYou're such a good dog owner. I find the key thing with my dog is she just wants to be with us. I am hardly away from her but when I do go she sleeps right by the door until I return. Fortunately there is a heated floor in the entry so I know she's cozy.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely would have made a good dad .. which you sort of are now anyway.
ReplyDeleteBe nice to them, and they'll be nice to you; and hopefully to others too.
ReplyDeleteWould all dog owners knew what you know.
ReplyDeleteCertainly the majority of dog owners know how to correctly treat their canine companions.
DeleteI'd like to think so, but you are so wrong. Most people treat dogs like little people
DeleteLove all the photos! You're a model dog owner, really.
ReplyDeleteFabulous post today.
ReplyDeleteI use the same rules you do. Training Mandibles and each day gets better. He just turned 6 months.
You would have made a wonderful Dad.
cheers, parsnip and mandibles
also love the card he drew where the dogs are saying they call me Ginger but my true name is... then he goes into these elebrate names. Perfect
DeleteWinnie's face looks like crushed velvet...I can almost feel it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a nice face to kiss.....like pushing your face into a scatter cushion
DeleteOh, Professor . . . .
ReplyDeleteI've read that dogs are capable of understanding up to 300 or 400 hundred words but definitely tone tells them what you mean. I don't understand people who get angry at their dogs for being dogs.
ReplyDeleteSome more than others depending on their ability to concentrate. Winnie understands more than any of the others
DeleteThat picture of Winnie is a hoot. All her wrinkles seem relaxed.
ReplyDeleteLike the rest of her body
DeleteA very good primer on owning a dog.
ReplyDeleteFine advice and some of it even applies with our two cats.
ReplyDeleteMy Sophie is a submissive pee'er my only rule is don't look at the dog for the first five minutes. After that all is well. Except for the friends who walk in with a high pitched voice and say PEEEEEEEEE! At which point she obeys in a grand way. Some times looking a bit like a fire hose.
ReplyDeleteThank God Winnie Isn't! I'd be flooded
DeleteWhy would your friends do that? Ihope the dog's name isn't Pee?
DeleteThey think it’s hilarous that she douses everything within a foot of her. Grrrrrrrrrr
DeleteLet's hope she pees on their shoes,lol.
DeleteGood post, good advice. Another alpha trick is to make the dog sit before eating, to wait briefly. My current pug and previous pug have/ had fairly extensive vocabularies. They take a few beats sometime to process the word, but then are good. Sadly this pug is not very attached to me, he is an independent little soul, where I was looking for a gentle companion. But as you've said, each dog has its personality that must be accepted.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Liz....oh and never allow a dog to lie above you. Like at the top of the stairs
DeleteI don't have stairs, just entry stairs, what we call FEMA stairs, bec my house is raised for hurricanes. My dog goes up first and sits and waits while I lock up the house. I think it's okay bec he only goes up when told to do so. But pugs adore sleeping on the back of the sofas, preferably half on one's shoulder. It's a pug thing, I don't think it is dominant.
DeleteOh FEMA is a US federal agency that provides disaster relief and also flood insurance, so after H Sandy people are raising their houses to reduce insurance costs. My cottage was already raised, lucky me. I realised readers wouldn't understand the reference.
Deletelizzy
On stilts?
DeleteOf course not. I think there's steel pilings then masonry, concrete blocks? But I am not sure. No stilts tho,lol.
DeleteThis is actually quite similar to having indoor cats. They have to know they are not in charge; at the same time, they need cuddle time and play time. They're not just furry ornaments. And ours, at least, know their names and words like "down", "no", and "good girl". Maybe it's how they were raised; maybe it's just the personalities we happened to get. I tend to think it depends on their socialization by owners.
ReplyDeleteYour four canines are a sweet bunch. And you ARE a dad, are you not? If they are like toddlers, you are like a dad.
Daddy dog house
DeleteExcellent advice John. Unfortunately all to many owners don't exercise the self-control they are wanting from their dogs and are not CONSISTENT... it's poorly trained owners who are the problem, all too frequently. Like kids!
ReplyDeleteConsistency doesn't always make for well behaved dogs but it does make them happy
DeleteI talk to my cats all the time and give out instructions when they are in the house about behaviour and at meal times instruct them on how to eat with each other and good manners. I can't abide bad manners over food. If I am quiet they come over and ask me what they can do. Cats respond to humans who talk to them. Sometimes they ignore me.
ReplyDeleteIt's all on their terms.........the bastards!
DeleteI wish all dog owners were as kind to their dogs as a parent would be ..
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother, many years ago, bred Siamese cats. The one thing they all had in common, aside from looks was that my grandmother belonged to them. If she was holding a cat and talking to me ... the cat would pat my grandmothers mouth/lips ... in other words, Don't talk to her, Talk to Me ... said the cat.
DeleteDogs are just happy to be there .. they love it when you talk to them, they love it when you don't. They are just glad to be there ... I need a dog :)
Get one!
DeleteFirst I have to settle where I am going to live ... I still can't decide :)
DeleteIt's not just dogs that hear "blah, blah, blah," - I swear my other half is the same. Never mind, it lets me prattle on and no harm done. Oh, and I love Gary Larson by the way. I bought myself a compete compendium of his works (2 huge, heavy volumes) and then silly me had to lug them all the way back to work. Must have weighed 10 kg! Now that's devotion. Anna
ReplyDeleteThat's all I hear when the Prof explains qualitative reasearch to me
DeleteLOL .... Your lips are moving but I don't hear a thing ....
DeleteI took my 'surrogate' dogs for walkies today but that young 'un insisted on eating every sheep poo in the fields where we were walking. On the other hand, I can take both of them walking through the fields where the sheep are grazing with no concern about sheep-worrying. Neither sheep nor dogs bat eyelids at each other!It was a bracing walk in the sunshine today but it's bloody cold up here at mo!!
ReplyDeleteI love Gary Larson's wit and artistry, and the cartoon you posted literally speaks to me. I bought a mug with that cartoon on it many years ago. It makes me grin every time I see it, so it was a pleasant surprise to see it at the top of your post.
ReplyDeleteMy husband likes for our dog to order him about and the dog takes advantage of his servile nature. Makes it difficult to enforce rules of behavior, to say the least. He acts like an overly indulgent father toward a spoiled, demanding child and, indeed, calls himself "Daddy" when speaking to the dog. The dog and I have a very different relationship. He knows my rules and will obey me, although my husband feels personally offended by this. Weird, I know, but not much I can do about it. My husband has had a few strokes over the past few years and they have affected his thinking.
the other thing people should know is never punish a growl because the growl is the "back-off!" If you punish the growl they will fell they have no option but to go straight for the bite
ReplyDeleteYou tap your dog on the vulva with your foot? What seems entertaining to you isn't acceptable behaviour towards an animal to me.
ReplyDeleteYou've just lost a reader.
Jan , the Prof tapped her and she never forgot it
DeleteShe masturbates regularly anyway.
If you are going to rant get the rant right....and u obviously are not a regular reader , if you were , you would know my animals are not mistreated
Lost a reader? Good riddance
It seems my comment vanished but it said how wistful it makes me to see your George. My mother had a series of 4 Scotties. They were wonderful dogs (even though I was allergic to them). I've been wondering who was the breeder of George? I just finished writing a story about how one of them took me for a walk one Christmas Eve.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful breed. have you ever read a book called Jock the Scot?
best wishes
Ann
I can give you the breeders name! All of our terriers come from her
DeleteNOW you tell me about vulvas and slippers. A day late and a dollar short!
ReplyDeleteThanks but due to allergies, I won't be able to get a Scotty (or any other dog or cat for that matter). I was interested because I thought George might be one of Stuart Plane's dogs. One of ours was, a fine lass! Ann
ReplyDeleteS davison was the breeder from Alfreton
ReplyDeleteLong live Gary Larson!
ReplyDelete