Wednesday, 26 July 2017

One Of My Flip-Flops Is Missing!


lt's been a showery morning so I left my wet flip flops by the front door and busied myself with making boiled fruit cakes, a coffee cake and a low cal tikka masala curry from scratch!
Terence from the Flower Show Committee and I have gone head to head with our boiled fruit cakes over the years, with me winning the cup twice and thrashing his arse in the judging year after year.
I intend to beat him again next week!
Anyhow as usual I digress.
Well, at midday I went out to feed The Bachelors, ( who had already chased the postman down neighbour Mandy's drive btw)  and I suddenly realised that one of my flip flops was missing !
I hopped around for a bit, but it was nowhere to be seen in the garden
Who would take a fucking flip flop I wondered.
Anyhow In between waiting for my boiled fruit to cool a friend called round for a chat about some upsetting health news they had received . The older we all get the more common are such conversations. While we were talking over the garden wall, Mary managed to get onto the kitchen table and ate 3 ounces of glace cherries....but I am digressing again.
Below is the Flower Show's generic recipe for the Boiled fruit cake class for your information

This must be made in a round 7 inch tin

4oz Marg
6 oz soft brown sugar
12 oz mixed dry fruit
2oz chopped cherries
8oz self raising flour
Half level teaspoon of mixed spice
Small tin of crushed pineapples 8oz
2 eggs

Heat oven 180c
Grease and line tin

Put marg,sugar, fruit and juice into pan and bring to the boil, stirring

Cool mixture by placing saucepan into cold water add flour, spice and mix well.
Add eggs and mix, note it will be a wet mix

Pour into tin and bake 1.5 hours turn oven down if browning





I ran out of marge and went up to the garage to buy some. Unfortunately they dont sell marge but the trip wasn't wasted as the sales assistant who knows me informed me that I had my third Best Walking Dead T shirt on inside out and back to front! 
When I got home I also found my flip flop in the middle of the road! 
Hey ho

73 comments:

  1. There are strange energies afoot today.....best stay inside for the rest of the day.

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  2. I think Winnie Hid the flip flop. You didn't take her on the walk yesterday and its her revenge prank on you. Your cake looks lovely. I going to give it a try. By marge you mean margarine right? Why not butter?

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  3. At the home of one of my clients a fox sneaked into their lean to and stole one of her shoes during the day. She found it rather chewed up at the far end of the garden!
    Arilx

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    Replies
    1. I have no idea which thieving bastard nicked it

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  4. This might have been a bad day for me to decide to clean out my Inbox then :(
    I am going to go sit on the lanai and look for another Wolf sighting.
    Yes, a wolf strolled past my home last night, looked at me then went into the forest.
    The cats and I are concerned.

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    Replies
    1. I'll bet it was a coyote Not many wolves in FL. I'm afraid coyotes are even more dangerous to pets than any wolf!

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    2. It was a wolf and there are wolves in this part of Florida.

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  5. Ha! I wonder how on earth your shoe wound up in the street? Wind? A passing animal?

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  6. Oh gosh. John lost his thong, later found in the middle of the road. Sorry, but I am expert fruit cake maker, well I was. A square 8" tin is better and it should not have a smooth top. The fruit needs to be poking out to entice. Because you have used ounces, I can't work out the quantities but I expect there are wrong proportions there.......and no pineapple in a boiled fruit cake. And what juice? From the tin of pineapples? Where is the water to boil the fruit in?

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    Replies
    1. I have to agree about the pineapple.

      My mother had a recipe where you boiled the fruit in water, then added some bicarbonate, then the marg, flour spices etc. I was lovely

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    2. Boiled fruit cake drama!
      Of COURSE THERE HAS TO BE PINEAPPLE AND ITS JUICE ( from the tin) it makes the cake!

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    3. I like the pineapple ones !

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  7. The cake is a half-breed of my mother's boiled fruit cake and my fruit cake with pineapple. Ill give it a go.

    You were lucky to find your flip flop. In this house it would have been eaten by a Dalmatian puppy. Dora loves shoes, preferably quite expensive shoes that are not very old. If all else fails she will consider an ancient pair of cheap slippers but they are very much a last resort.

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  8. I'll bet one of your kids did it!

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  9. Better that Mary ate the cherries, than the flip-flop. She will pass the cherries easier and quicker.

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  10. What is it with men of a certain age and their inability to dress themselves properly? My husband was moaning that his favourite jumper was tight around the neck. He had it on back to front! hehe x

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    Replies
    1. The prof is always natty

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  11. Getting all Mary Berry now we've retired are we? At least the flip-flop didn't turn up in the cake on judging day! 'Tastes a bit rubbery!'

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    1. Im more sexy paul Hollywood

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  12. at least the cherries weren't soaked in booze. or were they?

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    Replies
    1. What fresh hell is that?

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    2. Raisins or currants are soaked in booze

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  13. Now who would have carried off your flip flop. The cake looks wonderful....she say owning only square pans.

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  14. Did you get to see 'Dunkirk' - or did you make an historical retreat?

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    Replies
    1. We are going in an hour raymondo..review later

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  15. What mysterious goings on in Trelawnyd! Your cake looks bloody lovely...I could just go for a bit of that right now.

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  16. Around here we call the picture you painted of your shoe and shirt situation a "hot mess".

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  17. Do you have to stick with the recipe as given? Your cake looks very nice.

    We'll await the results of Mary's counter-surfing - tomorrow, perhaps?

    Third best WD t-shirt ... must be the baking t-shirt ...

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  18. A missing flip flop. A sure sign of things to come. Retirement is kicking in.

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  19. I have two questions: 1) Are you allowed to substitute butter for margarine? 2) Now how about that curry recipe?!

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    Replies
    1. 1. No
      2. Watch this space

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  20. You lead a fascinating and mysterious life, John Gray.
    That cake looks perfect.

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    Replies
    1. I am a facinating and mysterious character ms moon

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  21. In Oz I suppose it would be a missing thong! That cake looks good.

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  22. When Mary Berry makes a cake it's never like that. She doesn't have terriers eating her cherries and she doesn't nip out to the local garage for a tub of margarine and a packet of Woodbines and she doesn't utter the word "fucking" when she loses one of her flip flops.

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    Replies
    1. Mary Berry always uses marg, except she's renamed it 'baking spread'. A vegetable oil by any other name will taste as ghastly.

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    2. YP SHE SO DOES IN PRIVATE,!!!!

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    3. No need to SHOUT!!!!!

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  23. Well, I'll be damned. I would swear that is, to the last ingredient, my (dear departed) neighbour Eira's Boiled Pineapple Fruit Cake, which even got a mention at her Funeral. Very good it is too! I think the only difference is that her recipe calls for the melted butter, sugar and fruit to be boiled for 3 minutes exactly before the flour and other ingredients are added.

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    Replies
    1. See everyone PINEAPPLE IS NECESSARY

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    2. That's what makes it wonderfully moist.

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  24. I think the postman armed himself with your flip flop to pelt at the chickens. Sensible man.
    I'm very broad minded, but tinned pineapple in a boiled fruit cake! I don't think so ;) hope you win any way.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes........oh yes try it

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  25. Alright - which of your four footed family owned up to that? That fruit cake looks morish by the way.

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  26. OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (The flippy floppy, not the kak.)

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    Replies
    1. Are you and Rachel on drugs tonight?

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  27. I think your clothes are rebelling now that you have slimmed down so much. That flip flop was trying to run away from home.

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  28. Perfect been thinking it was boiled fruit cake season,and you've even given the recipe..the pineapple adds some moisture, sometimes they can be a bit dry. Up here there is a project trying to re-wild (release) lynx in Kielder Forest that is if the midges dont get them.May the cake fight commence.

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  29. I want some cake. Regarding your shoe..wendy my sister gets mad at me hides either one of every pair or hides them all leaving only 2 of different colors. She loves to prank and i have to keep a matching pair at work.

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  30. The flip flop ran away with the runcible spoon

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    Replies
    1. And they danced by the light of the moon, the moon, and they danced by the light of the moon. Excellent Rachel.

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    2. Thanks Camille, I am glad someone knew what I meant. I was surprised that John didn't cotton on.x

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  31. Ha ha, what a lovely glimpse of your life. I've got no idea why British recipes add that artificial ghastliness, that is marg, to their baking. Mary Berry is obsessed with the stuff. I wonder if anyone would have noticed if you'd substituted butter. Anyway I hope you win.

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    Replies
    1. Marg makes better cakes! If mary says so......it 's a done deal

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    2. Nigella begs to differ, nuff said !

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  32. I prefer square cake tins - easier to slice. And haven't made a boiled fruit cake in years.
    Good luck.

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  33. I saw a English bulldog puppies with one of my patients and thought of you John. I hasten to add you don't look like one you just have on. It was cute in a funny way. More of a cat woman myself. I lost a flipflop at Blenheim Palace near the lake 40 odd yes ago so I feel your pain.

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    Replies
    1. Could we start a support group?

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    2. For the bulldogs or the flip flops??

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  34. just another day in the life of retired house husband squire john gray.

    damn that fruitcake looks dee-lish! and I'd love to try your tikka masala!

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  35. John, reading your blog makes my day better, particularly when it has been a bad one. I am so glad I found you...

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  36. Flip flops get a lot of bad press cos they aren't good for the feet but I am a huge fan . A club for humans mourning the loss of their rubbery friend sounds good. "Flip over flop down and tell us about your loss"

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  37. We were discussing our fave blogs at a dinner last night. It struck me, John, I do hope you write that book. Sometimes I feel guilty I'm getting so much for free.

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  38. That cake looks yummy! I never buy marg...only butter.

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  40. I think that you need to practise mindfulness - take a moment to concentrate on what needs to be done - then keep thinking until the task is complete.

    Ooh look your last poster is similar too those that Tom and Cro are suffering at present.

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  41. Nothing that I can see had been taken out, but one of my pink Croc flip flops was missing....I had got them before I went as they really help with ...
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