Monday, 15 May 2017

The Pleasures Of Cheap White Bread



oh Lord, no posts over the weekend! That's not like me. We had a busy day on Saturday then I was working all day Sunday which was followed by a twilight shift at Samaritans . I didn't get home until 1.30 am, tired and somewhat jaded only to be faced with the body of a rabbit lying headless under the catflap.
I've counted just three adult rabbits on the field this morning. The only survivors of the myxomatosis  plague of last month.
Anyhow, I  caught neighbour Betty standing at the field gate when I returned home from dropping the Prof off for his train journey to Cardiff. She was waving two pieces of cheap white bread above her head like an elderly semaphore enthusiast.
This happens a great deal from time to time, especially as several locals now understand just how much the sheep adore these delicate morsels. All it takes, with one or two wafts of a slice, and both Sylvia and Irene bust an absolute gut to overcome their natural shyness to  gallop up to the gate in order to coyly accept the offering and chomp away with eyes closed in happy rapture.
Animals like people, love a treat.
For  George it's miniature cocktail sausages whereas William will go weak at the knees over a cheap spar meatball.
Winnie having eclectic tastes, prefers roast beef and lamp shank. ( and there is a facebook video doing the rounds with my friend Greta and her husband feeding her such tidbits with a fork at the dinner table!)
I still go weak at the knees over the mere glimpse of a scotch egg whereas the Prof especially loves a cheesy ball!
( make of that what you will)
Anyhow back to cheap white bread!
I adore the smell of it, and the way that you can reduce it to dough just by pressing it hard between your fingers! It reminds me of those 1970s Fridays at my grandmothers' where jam sandwiches made with baking margarine and strawberry jam and a cup of sweet tea was the order of the afternoon!
Baked beans always tastes better of toast made from cheap white bread!
Try It and you'll see I am right.
Pippa, from the Rectory, often comes around with all sorts of designer rye bread and hard as rock expensive French baguettes for the sheep to eat and they nibble on her offerings with a politeness bordering on boredom. Betty's cheap crusts go down so much easier.
My sheep are like me, they are easily pleased.

80 comments:

  1. Cheap white bread is the best to have with vegemite and butter. It is also the best for a prawn or chicken sandwich or fairy bread and who would have cinnamon toast on anything but white bread

    good choice, John!

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    1. Cucumber sandwiches too

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    2. A woman I worked with made her children fairy bread using multi-grain bread. They didn't like it. And her work colleagues told her she was sending 'mixed messages' and agreed.

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  2. Bread and butter always delicious! Most Americans grew up on a cheap bread called Wonder Bread.

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    1. Ours was called Wonderloaf. Probably the same. It was followed by 'Mother's Pride'.

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    2. Do you remember the nimble girl?

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    3. You just brought back a memory of the Nimble Ad. A girl dangling from a big balloon and "Fly like a bird in the sky.." sung in the background..

      ...Mum always used "Mother's Pride", she made us sandwiches to take to school. No fancy boxes or plastic bags, sandwiches were wrapped in the waxed paper bread wrapper. One of my favourites was cheese and pickled beetroot sandwiches. The purple off the beetroot would soak into the bread. Thinking about it we must have gone through an enormous amount of bread because there was always a loaf wrapper to wrap the butties in.

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    4. Or in the South (USA) I think it was Wonder Bread ..white.
      I don't like the whole grain breads where you bite into a piece of oatmeal or something that makes you think your tooth might get cracked. But the taste of yeasty warm homemade bread is just about the best thing in the world in my opinion. whatever color it is :)

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    5. Do you remember the Nimble Girl piss-take in the Wallace and Gromitt film?

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  3. When I was a kid we used to ball up white bread and use it as fishing bait. The fish loved it!

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    1. We fished when I was little. It was a happy day when I found out I could use a ball of bread instead of maggots on my hook. Caught my best mirror carps with that bread.

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    2. Me too, Steve- and the bream loved it.

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    3. I grew up in the US South- fishing was required. My dad did the worm on the hook part for me. And the taking the fish off the hook part. He complained to my mother .. I always caught more fish than he did lol

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  4. Toast and marmalade, toast and Marmite and roadside cafe-style bacon sandwiches. For these it cannot be beaten.

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    1. With real butter.....gawd its food porn

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    2. And dripping on bread has to be white bread ummmmmm

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    3. Doorstep white bread, but not sliced for dripping, I reckon.

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  5. I wonder when The Prof developed his fondness for cheesy balls? Meticulous personal hygiene should eliminate all possibility of cheesy balls unless of course one chooses cheese-scented shower gel.

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    1. bwhahahahaha! a good laugh to start the week, YP! it's only 6:15a here, I just woke up, and am making love to my morning coffee.

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    2. And here I was, expecting YP to say something about "lamp shanks"!!!

      Sorry, John - but I got a wonderful, much needed laugh from that typo! Keep them coming :)

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  6. Tomato sandwiches don't taste good on any other kind of bread but white bread!

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  7. My mind is boggling over the cheesy balls. lol
    Briony
    x

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  8. Cheap white bread with ripe tomatoes in a sandwich - lots of salt - lots of sogginess - delicious.

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    1. With real mayo👍🏼Swoon

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    2. Just with vinegar and pepper. Yum yum.

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  9. I like white bread cut loaf for toast and anything with toast and lots of butter such as asparagus or scrambled egg and my tomato sandwiches everyday like Weave likes. I have just eaten them.

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    1. And Nutella. You couldn't have that on anything but white bread.

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    2. Rachel, that was last nights dessert at my house :)

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    3. I love Nutella! But inly on white bread with lots of Butter.

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  10. quality chocolate (no rubbish) sends me swooning. the cats love their catnip. no cheap white bread in this house; rye, pumpernickel, wheat only.

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  11. I too adore cheesy balls - and cheese in almost any form. Would the Prof agree that you are easily pleased?

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  12. A treat when I was a child from my grandma...white bread spread with butter and sugar sprinkled over it. Also tomato sandwiches with mayo, sale and pepper. Now with diabetes I can't indulge in white bread. Bummer.

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  13. I've never liked white bread, it always seems tasteless to me. Jenny and I have had a favourite bread for many years now - the multiseed wholemeal loaf from Sainsbury's. It contains wheat, rye, oats and sesame. The only drawback is the tiny seeds that shoot off in all directions around the kitchen.

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    1. Thanks for the laugh, Nick. Those seeds on top do indeed add action when slicing the loaf.

      Hope you will be pleased that herewith I declare you an honorary German, Swiss, Austrian, any nationality on mainland Europe the further East and North you go.

      U

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  14. All this talk of white bread - is it good for sheep?
    Fresh (still warm) homemade white bread smeared with fresh creamery butter is a favorite of mine although bought bread is always whole wheat.

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  15. Cheap white bread coated with dripping butter with dreadful processed cheese slices in between, fried up in a skillet, make for a delicious, sinful, grilled cheese sandwich . . .
    I hear tell from Bee Haven posts that her sheep and her piggies do tricks to get Ritz Cracker treats . . .
    Our little one twirls around in circles for a cooked carrot . . .
    Just sayin' . . .

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  16. Bonnie pup ( in my pic) refuses toast, unless it's cheap white bread with Lurpak on! X

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  17. Have gone back to cheap white bread, half the calories of seeded bread. Hot Crispy bacon, and brown sauce can only ever go on cheap white bread!.

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  18. Irene and Sylvia. I always imagine them with woolly bonnets, and sensible hooves.

    A couple of great phrases: waving...like an elderly semaphore enthusiast and nibble...with a politeness bordering on boredom.

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    1. Yes! Reminds me of Month Python's "Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights."

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    2. "woolly bonnets, and sensible hooves" - love it, Rebel. I don't know if I'll ever think of a sheep again without remembering that line.

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  19. Stale cheap white bread mixed with PVA glue makes a fabulous air dry clay.. Make sure you varnish the end product once it is completely dry.

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  20. Fresh egg salad with a piece of lettuce and green onion. Only good on fresh, cheap, white bread. I have had to go gluten free. The bread is crap! Since I do not have celiac, once or twice a year, I cheat and have a white bread, egg salad sandwich.

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  21. Cheap white bread...no nutritional value but oh......

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  22. A bacon sandwich made from 2 slices of Mother's Pride and plenty of smoked bacon; is there anything more delicious?

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    1. Yes this is my favorite also.

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  23. Mmm, bacon butties - or dipped in Heinz Tomato Soup if I'm ill. One of the reasons I like Nigella Lawson is that she's not afraid to use white bread when it's necessary.

    Toast and dripping, oh my goodness that brings back memories.

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  24. One thing I have learnt, and do learn every day, that the moment you are in the minority is the moment you may face being unpopular. As I don't crave popularity everyone is my guest.

    White bread is a crime against both fibre and your bowels. I remember being so very amused when I came over to England, meeting my future parents-in-law. They had a breakfast room. Naturally. To add fibre to their diet they ate the unspeakable drowned in milk. Then they had toast. It was endearing if somewhat topsy turvy. The British know nothing about bread. Look at Theresa May.

    U

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    1. On the contrary Ursula, I believe we have demonstrated that we know all about bread and without any hesitation and with passion.. To have this knowledge of what we like and how shows a great understanding and knowledge and unerring belief.

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    2. LOL ... it is too early for me to cope with some of the more convoluted thinking going on here and there ...
      White bread and popularity and crimes against ones bowels is bringing a whole new aspect of a common little ... loaf of bread.

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  25. A broad statement, Bitchontheblog. We British know what we like and we know what's good for us - the two may not be the same! Similarly, I could say that the Americans know nothing about electing a suitable President. ;)

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    1. Jesus Ursula, this was a light hearted blog post, !

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    2. 68 million of us did not vote for the orange idiot. we are trying like hell to get rid of him...

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  26. Cheap white bread toasted, cut into fingers and dipped into maple syrup. Awesome!

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  27. A sandwich made of cheap white bread, 2 slices of the cheapest bologna, and a layer of potato chips.

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    1. What fresh hell is this?

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    2. that is all my sister ate when she turned 5. she grew out of that obsession quickly.

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  28. My gran used to make fried-dripping butties, the health gurus would swoon from the mere thought nowadays.
    ~Jo

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  29. And don't forget crisp butties slathered in malt vinegar :)
    ~Jo

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    1. Oh no! Im at fat club later!

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  30. Cheap white bread is the best sort for a chip butty! A good dollop of tomato ketchup or brown sauce too!

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  31. I rarely eat white bread now but fresh homemade white bread with butter is like a drug - who can stop at one piece? Which is why I rarely eat white bread now ...

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    1. Oh I agree with Jenny - irresistible X

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    2. We have a bread class in the flower show.......at judging i have to pinch myself not to eat the exhibits

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  32. Cheap white bread, fish fingers and tomato ketchup....the perfect fish finger butty!

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    1. Oh be still my beating heart

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  33. No idea why, but even as a small child, I never really liked white bread, and I hate crusts - even now. My mother used to buy very small Hovis loaves from the bakery, and slice them into tiny sandwiches. These days I buy white bread for my husband, and we'll share a fresh, warm baguette, but I still prefer brown bread.

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  34. White bread, butter, sprinkled with sugar then fried or under the broiler till the sugar browns and crisps.

    cheers, parsnip

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  35. Our Sheep also love bread. Some prefer a nice wholemeal but every one of them love a cheap white slice and occasionally I will buy a whole loaf just for them and end up getting mugged in the field.

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  36. Cheap brown bread makes THE best ever toast. I found that out when I did Live Below the Line a couple of years ago. But the sheep in our field do prefer the white stuff :-)

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  37. White bread banana sandwich with miracle whip preferably or mayo. Pumpernickle is my favorite sandwich bread. Apple raisin cinnamon favorite sweet.

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  38. My brother in law once asked me to pick up a loaf of cheap white bread for him. Only he called it Fresh White Bread. "The softer, the better."

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