Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Bollocks!


Sorrel gets somewhat nervous when negotiating trains home, so as the 10.04 virgin  train to London arrived three minutes early I got on with her to help locate her seat.
The fucking train left the station at 10.02!
The two elderly ladies sat across the aisle hooted with laughter when they realised, so much so that I nearly punched both hard in the face for their trouble.
I pressed the intercom to the driver which is located above the door but nothing happened. The train roared on, Sorrel looked more anxious and the two crones cackled harder with laughter.
Things got worse as after I disembarked at the next station, I missed the train back because, in the wet, as I was running down the steps of the pedestrian bridge, I lost a croc which slithered underneath the wooden decking.
A fat lady on an invalid scooter kindly lent me her crutch to fish the bloody thing out.

I'd left my coat in the car back at the original station and noted then that I had not bothered to buy a car park ticket before as I thought I 'd only be at the first station for a minute or so.

It then started to rain heavily!




112 comments:

  1. A scotch egg moment? X

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    1. Two! With a hot chocolate chaser!

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  2. Oh John, sometimes I can't believe you're let out alone. xx

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  3. I am not laughing. Truly... well, I am smiling .. This was really one of those Shouldn't Have Even Gotten Out Of Bed days for you.
    Thankfully, they rarely come in pairs, you will have nothing but Good Days after this ..

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    1. Id only had four hours sleep

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    2. Awww, honey, you deserve to be pampered and waited on hand and foot after such a rough day .
      Naps are good .. remember that .. being waited on hand and foot ( croc-less or not) is good.

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  4. Oh no...only you John, only you. Have a stiff drink :)

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  5. I am glad I am not the only one that has "those days". I feel your pain!

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  6. remember that old cartoon from the 60's? the born loser.

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  7. I wish you were my son in law! Endlessly kind AND amusing!

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  8. Oh my! A stiff drink and a hot bath for you!

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  9. Tomorrow you'll find a golden ticket inside your Scotch Egg wrapper.

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  10. Sorry but this crone is cackling

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  11. "So what's the worst that could happen?"
    And then you proceed to find out.
    Oh, John!

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  12. GO HOME..TAKE A NAP..START AGAIN!

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  13. Couldn't help myself I was roaring with laughter but you
    really are such a kind individual and I expect Sorrel was happy that you got on the train and helped her find her seat.

    To add insult to injury did you or will you be receiving a parking fine?

    Sandy

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  14. Poor John and all because you were being kind and thoughtful.

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  15. Well, I really felt sorry for you; a kind, thoughtful, act gets 'rewarded' with a ton of crap. Why people would 'cackle' at someone's misfortune baffles me; what selfish shits they were. Hope you're okay now.

    As Wilde said:No good deed goes unpunished.

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    1. I thought it was good natu

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    2. Sorry I am in a train and went into a tunnel. Good natured laughter rathen than nasty in good Briish way even if John did want to thump them.

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    3. Yes it was good natured and yes i wanted to thump them

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  16. Count yourself lucky. If you'd been in Austria you'd have to pay a €90 fixed penalty for being on a train without a ticket plus the price of a ticket to your destination i.e. The next station in your case.
    No excuses! You have been warned. Stay in Cymru. Better safe than sorry.

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    Replies
    1. I had no money on my...not even a coat either

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  17. It was bad and then you threw a shoe. My goodness.

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  18. What a lousy start to your day! Take a hot bath and go back to bed!

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  19. Bollocks indeed! I hope the day improved. Despite all the trauma this is one of your finest blog entries and I can picture it all happening vividly! Please write 'John's Diaries'. :)

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    1. When i retire i will i promise

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  20. Reminded me of some U2 lyrics:
    "Some days are sulky, some days have a grin,
    And some days have bouncers and won't let you in".

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    1. Why do i have so many bouncers?

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    2. Sometimes you're the pigeon, sometimes you're the statue.
      From the sound of it, today was more like a flock of low-flying buffalo!

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    3. Low flying Buffalo... I have to remember this one.

      cheers, parsnip

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    4. "some days are bouncers and won't let you in " LOL I love that one .. and a flock of low flying buffalo. heh heh heh ..

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  21. You have made my day with that story. You even managed to fall over - again.

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    1. I didnt fall on my arse just slide gracefully down 3 steos

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  22. Big beach ball lady bollocks eh?

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    Replies
    1. Indeed fucking big lady bollocks!!!!

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  23. Oh my giddy aunt, a day to forget! x

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  24. A 'Mr Bean' day? Though without his naive innocence - AND you're much funnier (Tee hee!)

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  25. Oh my John, get some rest. Hugs to all the furr babies too from GG.

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  26. Oy, vey! What a start to a day!!! Hope the rest of the week is better... or at least drier.

    Thank you for often bringing a big smile to mornings. Sometimes a full on chuckle.

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  27. Thank you for being honest enough to tell us about it - the ability to laugh at oneself is invaluable. I bet it took Sorrel's mind off the worry about trains! It's made me howl, Scotch Egg definitely deserved.

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    1. I treated myself to noodles

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  28. An E-Hug for you dear John.
    Hope you are back on an even keel.

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  29. Il y a des jours comme cela...Kisses from France

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  30. Ya can't make this stuff up, folks! :)

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  31. Lucky it wasn't non-stop to London Euston - or was it?

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    Replies
    1. No, thank fuck, it stopped at fflint

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  32. Days like this drive me to eat !
    Where is a scotched egg when you need one ?

    cheers parsnip

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  33. And all for trying to do a good deed for your mother-in-law. Murphy's Law John...if it can go wrong it will.

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  34. Oh John, you were doing such a good deed too !

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  35. Omg, I just spat my mushy peas on toast out 😂 It all sounds like a day in my life :-D

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    Replies
    1. Bloody lovely mushy peas on toast! With lots of salt an pepper

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  36. Omg, I just spat my mushy peas on toast out 😂 It all sounds like a day in my life :-D

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  37. The icing on this cow pat would have been a parking ticket! Did you get one?

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  38. Thought i was having a bad day but yours makes mine look like a picnic

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    Replies
    1. At least i made you feel better x

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  39. You grumpy old git, its hilarious. You'll laugh about it one day. You could make money writing about all your mishaps. xx

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  40. You grumpy old git, its hilarious. You'll laugh about it one day. You could make money writing about all your mishaps. xx

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    1. Do you blame me! . ? I should have bitch slapped those OAPs

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    2. Ye Gods and little fishes...it just goes to show us, No good deed goes unpunished.

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  41. I've never understood why The Prof raises an eyebrow or rolls his eyes about you.

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  42. Translation de "Il y a des jours comme cela..." : There are some days like this...
    And a great thank you for my daily cup of tea !(I want to say that I thank you alot because this is a delicious and daily moment to read you :))

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  43. It was very Michael Crawford

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    1. How very dare you

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    2. Exactly what I thought 'Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em"!

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  44. At least you didn't have a car full of dogs waiting at the station ... did you? They always say things could be worse, but that's the only way I can think that it would have been so ... take care, get some rest and for god's sake get rid of those crocs :)

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    1. They are a fashion statement jenny

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  45. On four hour's sleep that was pretty testing - you passed with flying colours - or should that be flying crocs! If you had no one on you did you get a free ride back? I do hope so....
    Tomorrow will be better... or at a least different set of challenges.
    Thanks for a vivid vignette!

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  46. Oh dear, sounds like an episode from 'Some Mothers do Ave Em'. I take it you did your own stunts! x

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    1. Oh yes, i am a natural athlete

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  47. How do all these exciting(?) things happen to you?

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  48. Book assisted travel for her. Then you hand her over to someone on the platform and they get her on, seated, etc. And someone else will see her off the train at the other end. We use it for my mother-in-law who panics about trains.

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  49. You live such a fascinating life filled with adventure. At least you were dressed for public consumption this time. No pajama bottoms?

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    Replies
    1. Not with my mother in law present!
      I had my second best WALKING DEAD t shirt on

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  50. WHAT a day. At least you didn't follow your croc and have to be fished out.

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  51. I would have eaten an entire bag of chocolate covered almonds. You brighten my day, make me laugh, make me wish I worked with you. I so look forward to your posts. Although I personally hate crocs, I am glad you were able to retrieve yours. -Jenn

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    1. I AM a delight to work with! But not at 7 am in the mornings

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  52. When it rains - it pours. Wink, wink

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  53. This is why I seldom leave my house. I am prone to misfortune. Thanks for the giggle!

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    1. Welcome to my strange little world

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  54. Dunno how you get through a week sometimes!!

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    1. I have a sense of humour

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    2. Apparently not on the 10.02 to London!!

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  55. My mother always said; "No good deed goes unpunished" Cynical, but somewhat true at times. Good bless you John. X

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  56. It has been a long day, THANK YOU, I needed the chuckle.

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  57. I can top you...I woke up.

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  58. Yet it was your LAST post that was entitled "Being caught unawares."
    Poor John.

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  59. Sit down with a cuppa my dear and I'll put on some soothing music for you.

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  60. Good thing you weren't wearing your pyjamas and it wasn't non-stop to London.

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  61. i think you need some time to sit and meditate

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  62. How did you get out of the barrier once back with no ticket ?

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    1. This is wales we dont have barriers

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  63. What a comedy of errors and you a victim of circumstance -- what more could go wrong!

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  64. Oh John - you cheered me up considerably with your chronicle (should I say comedy) of errors. This kind of thing always seems to be happening to you.

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  65. Oh well .... you brightened up our day :-)

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  66. Well that made my day look a whole lot better!

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  67. Are Crocks involved in a lot of your slip and falls? ...just sayin'!

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  68. Oh, yeesh. Now THAT is a bad day. :(

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  69. Some days it doesn't pay to be a nice guy.....but then there are those other days,

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