Sunday, 19 February 2017

Shit Bags

Tom will like this....
It's about dog shit.

I don't feel neighbourly today. I'm tired.
Sure I was  friendly to Rowenna when she complained that the church bin had not been emptied,,( but she is so sweet that it didnt take much effort) but when a certain hatchet face old prune screamed at me when winnie was mid dump on an expense of badly kept lawn outside her council owned property I was ready for a fight albeit a velvet glove sort of fight.
I was just about to scoop the offending turd up into a bag when the old fart yelled out
" get that dog off that grass!" 
Now..I know it was more out of devilment rather than maliciousness  but I turned to the woman, smiled a sweet smile and said in a polite yet firm tone
"NO!" 
This kind of attitude drives em bananas! 
As I tied up the 2 lb poo and plonked it into my pocket, she started again, though there was noticeably less aggression in her voice
" I'll ring the council!" She called
I smiled again
" You do that!" I trilled sweetly
"I will " she shouted 
" Good" I replied.
Yes it was all rather juvenile but I couldn't help myself.
" and when your at it, get them to cut your grass"
The woman " harrumphed" as we moved on watching me carefully over folded arms.
I could have then kissed George with a big sloppy Scottish terrier kiss,
For as he  jauntily trotted up behind us ( he is off his lead at this particular part of our constitutional) he  stopped briefly at a stone animal which decorated this woman's path and without prompting loudly pissed on it!






61 comments:

  1. Dog shit on grass verges and footpaths is a horrible thing but she should have waited to see if you were going to bag Winnie's deposit. I note that Liverpool Council are thinking of letting people off council tax payments if they successfully shop irresponsible dog owners who allow their hounds to defecate on pavements without clearing up.

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  2. We always carried bag and picked up after our dog. Once used and tied into a knot, the poo bag almost has a convenient handle - a poo bimb of sorts - not to say it should be tossed at the property of mean old women. Just saying it COULD. If need be.

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    1. A "poo bomb" rather. Bad spelling ruined the effect.

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  3. can i get george to piss on trump?

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    1. Oh yes please ... gallons of piss.

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    2. If it's from a Russian hooker, he apparently likes that.

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. When we had our Pup, we lived in a NY Suburb to begin with and that is where he was housetrained. So when we moved to Buenos Aires, he was easy to walk, he would "hold it" until we got down to the park where he could sniff to his hearts content then poop where we told him to.
    Because no matter how you clean/pick it up, there will still be some on the ground to get into someones shoes.
    Poor thing, he got to where he would hold it until he found a wee patch of grass to pee on.

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  5. im sorry John but your dog doing its business on my lawn would have upset me too...At least you did pick it up but still ... then your George peed on her lawn ornament.. Maybe you could give the dogs a few minutes to do their business in YOUR yard before you take off on a walk... just a thought......deb

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    1. Oh they do that too! ......just felt i wanted to put the cat amongst the pidgeons

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  6. Did you hang the bag of dog shit onto the nearest fence, like most people round here do?

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    1. People round here do that too, only they lob it into the branches of an oak, known locally as the " Poo tree". Weird!

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    2. Ive never understood that practce

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    3. That is just crazy ! like some teenage Halloween prank, hanging crap in trees. Disgusting.

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    4. The leafy lanes in St Ives, Cornwall have the most poo-festooned hedges I have ever seen.

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  7. Good you picked it up but I wouldn't be happy with dogs pooing on the grass outside my home, council or otherwise! Many years ago an owner let their dog poo on the pavement outside my Nan's gate. She shoveled it up and the next day presented it back to them!

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  8. Oh John, I have become that old woman. Two doors down from the playground at the lake that runs by my back yard, I yell at the kids, "don't throw rocks/sticks at the ducks and geese." "Don't chase those baby ducks." These kids have no adult supervision and why they would try and hurt the waterfowl, I have no answer, but to yell at them. I give out large candy bars at Halloween to try and make up for it. Love kids, but they just don't think before they act.

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    1. Donna. You and me both.
      There is a very beautiful young woman in skin tight outfits who jogs with her dog. I have never seen a poo bag empty or filled. I think it would mess up the lines of her outfit.

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  9. a 2lb dump is impressive! a well fed and cared for dog. I have no problems with responsible dog owners who pick up pooh. As for dog wee, it just happens. It happened at the right time for you anyway.

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  10. As long as the owner picks it up I don't understand why people care. Your post made me giggle too. Sometimes one just needs to be a little juvenile :)

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  11. Nice to see the tried and tested subjects getting an airing. This reads like some sort of comedy sketch - I can just see it now!

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  12. Good old George.

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  13. I would have probably reacted the same way, John. Maybe not very mature, but sometimes enough is enough! People like that make me crazy.

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  14. George had exactly the right response :-)

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  15. Good for George, he made a very telling "statement" there!

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  16. I used to hate it when people let their dogs off leash and they would practically come up to our door, before pooping .. But NY has strict laws/high fines if you get caught .
    Not to mention, very bad neighbor feelings.

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  17. "A certain hatchet face old prune" does she read your Blog ?

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  18. We walk our long-haired Chihuahua, Kelso, at a park everyday. I always pick up after him, unless he backs up to a flower bed where no one would walk. His poop is Tootsie Roll sized, but some people leave their dog's Clydesdale horse sized poop behind with nary a thought. Harrumph...

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  19. I had a co worker who became ENRAGED when a passing dog owner who was responsible enough to clean up the poo in a bag and would place the bagged poo in HER garbage can in the alley. Really? It's all garbage.

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    1. But it makes the can reek when you go to put more in! Why not just carry it home? My animal, my garbage!

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  20. Even if you pick up the poo, there's going to be bits left behind. Maybe she had grandchildren who play in that little bit of grass.

    And - IN YOUR POCKET?? Even in a bag, doesn't it make your coat smell, er, poopy?

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    1. Yes.....i hav als sat through a whole film in the cinema with such a bag in my pocket

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    2. You are made of stern stuff, John!!

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  21. Sorry John. I would have been furious if someone let their animal cr*p on my garden. We are tortured with cat sh*t all over our flower borders.

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    1. Its a council lawn!

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    2. That the lady pays rent for. I lived in a council house many years ago. My garden was my pride and joy. The estate was a really rough one. I gave a load of local kiddies a bag of bulbs each and they all planted them in my garden. That way they didn't wreck it as it belonged to them too. I set up a plant swap and helped other people make their gardens pretty too. I would hate to think they were digging in dog poo to plant things in my garden

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    3. Agreed i was in the wrong..........ilol.....

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  22. I love the power of 'No.'

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  23. I'd love for my neighbor to come over here and clean up after his dogs, but that is simply wishful thinking ...

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  24. Scottie have great timing !

    cheers, parsnip

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  25. John, don't you think your aplomb during this interchange was somewhat undermined by pocketing a 2lb poo during it? Or, trying to picture it, maybe you enhanced it.

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    1. My aplomb is undermined so often, i no longer notice

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  26. Dogs do what dogs do, when and where they do it. She should have shouted, THANK YOU for cleaning up after the dog. She didn't say it so I will, THANK YOU!

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  27. let's all fling dog poo bags at donald dump and his dumplings!

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  28. Interesting that you placed 'council owned' in italics as if to make a point. I live in 'council owned' property and I have a story as to how I got here. Maybe that lady had too. Harsh to judge folk without knowing the details. You can still have pride in your surroundings, even though they're municipal.

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    1. I admit i was being naughty x

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  29. Way to go George Hehehehehehe

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  30. We seem split down the centre on this issue (we your readers, John).

    I think it's a mark of a hospitable blogger when these very different opinions can be expressed and accepted! Thank you for that.

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  31. A westie does its nut every time it sees me. One day the owner picked him up so I could say hello to the dog. The stench off the bag of shit was tremendous. I hadn't realised just how bad it would be.

    It's a good job I don't own a dog!

    Helen

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  32. We pick up . . . BUT . . . we have a few families who do not wants dogs doing their pee & poo on their grass. I try not to go near those residences BUT there are times when Snickers wants to go from where we try stay away. We have not been yelled at but our neighbors have been. Yay for George . . . we have postal boxes at the road ends. Poo bags would fit in . . . or a large arm wind up and fling would work too. Just sayin . . .

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  33. My mother has an unfenced garden that borders a beach and gets really distressed when she is woken at dawn by dogs crapping under her windows. Of course the owners don't clean up after them and she is not confrontational and won't take them on. It has built up so much she now has a stress related illness. When my father was alive he would just go out with the garden hose and water them back! No one did it twice! The council won't allow her to erect a fence on the boundary with the beach, so that is not a solution.

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    1. Your poor Mother. I wonder if there is some sort of repellant that she could spray on the grass? Citrus oil or something similar.

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    2. Thanks CC, she has her own much loved pooch, I should have mentioned that. Firmly in the Love Dogs camp, just not waking up to defecating ones!

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  34. And yet another reason why George has always been my favourite.

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  35. Granted, our dog only is on our property so she does her business at her house. I am okay if people pick up the dog shit from the lawn by the street. As of late we have had someone who is letting their dog shit and not pick it up. It has become maddening and if I ever catch them there will be hell to pay.
    MissFifi

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  36. Bless 'em....that George.

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  37. That George is even more clever than he looks!

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