Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Hollow Smile


She smiled with her mouth but not with her eyes.
I've noticed the fact several times now when I've met her.
I think I know why she seems a little sad.
Moving into a small village can be isolating especially when you have a new baby to look after.

I saw her yesterday, when I was fixing the light over the back door. She was pushing the baby down the lane to feed the sheep, mother and child, she reports miss the hens and geese dreadfully.
I asked her if she felt a bit isolated ( isolated felt a better word to use than the more stark lonely) and immediately I know I'd touched a nerve.
She looked as though she could have cried then and there.

It may not be a panacea to all of her ills but I thought that I will ask her to join the Flower Show Committee. We are due a meeting in the spring.

It's 7.15 am and I'm nursing a coffee whilst listening to John Hurt's " Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell"  monologue on BBC . It's going to be a busy few days, me thinks for not only have I two back to back night shifts to deal with ( a favour for a friend with child care problems ) but I'm taking neighbour Trevor to his outpatients appoinment this morning (a sixty mile round trip) and have to fit in a leaving party for five intensive care staff who have moved onto bigger and better things as well as squeezing in Gay Gordon's funeral which takes place on Friday morning!

And storm Doris  is all set to strike on Thursday morning!



It's all go!

42 comments:

  1. oy! how will you manage all THAT?

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  2. It was nice of you to offer a kind word, John. Ar there any families with small children you could accidentally introduce her to?
    As a mother staying at home with my toddler I could go days without seeing another adult if I chose. But, I am very happy with my marriage and little homestead so that makes a big difference.

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  3. It's all go. They say at the Cape just before blast off. I'll call you rocket john.

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  4. Doris is a ridiculous name for storm but a good name for a little old lady who likes knitting and "Emmerdale". If they are going to pick a woman's name for a storm pick an unsettling name like Storm Olga, Storm Juanita or Storm Griselda. Not Doris.

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    1. Shows a great lack of imagination doesn't it? Perhaps whoever chose it absolutely hated, or loved, his Auntie Doris?

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  5. Isolated is a great name for being home with baby. I loved the time I spent with my kids but there were days when I would have paid anybody just for a little adult conversation. You are a nice guy.

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    1. And did you always wonder after you did speak to another adult if you didn't sound crazy ? I did ... I felt like I was bursting with things to say .. I look back and feel bad for whoever it was that I trapped lol

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  6. Tooooooo much John . . .
    I think it is time for You!

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  7. Oh I remember those days, alone all day with a new baby and husband never coming home from work on time, he was as frustrated with that as I was.
    I think the flower show committee is a brilliant idea for her, it would have made me happy back then. And women all love to give new mothers advice :)
    Speaking of isolated, I live in a city, in a townhome community, there are people all around me ... I have not spoken to one person all day. I went to the market, I spoke to the girl at the register but they were very busy. I spoke to the lady at the bank. She is very kind. She never falls asleep while I jabber away, so happy to be able to talk to someone who is not a cat.
    We all have our days ..


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  8. When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

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  9. You are an amazing man, John.
    I hope you can really take that in today.

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  10. The flower show committee might well be the door she needs to enter the community. Can she take her baby with her?

    I don't like busy weeks but I like when they're over :)

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  11. I hope you can help her get acquaint her with a few of the fun people. Not sure she would really want to be on a committee, she may agree and then hate it when the baby is being cranky, just saying.

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  12. She is lucky to have crossed paths with you... :-)

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  13. Sometimes when it rains it pours. That is one huge week of too much to do.
    I remember that feeling of alone in the world with a baby no family to stop by. I is tough no matter how much you love your baby.

    cheers, parsnip

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  14. So, nothing new then!

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  15. You may have been the only person with whom she shared a personal conversation all day - and a day can be interminably long with a demanding baby. Again, Thumbs up to you John.

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  16. Are there many young mums in Trelawnyd? Around here they meet up at things to do for babies.

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  17. That was thoughtful. I imagine a small village can be initially more intimidating than a city, as its existing networks are so clearly established. I think that is a fantastic idea, getting involved is a great way to meet people.

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  18. You have a lot on your plate!

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  19. I'm so glad you reached out to the young woman ( who may have post natal depression ) Is there a mother & baby group in the Church hall ? I feel sad for her.

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  20. I remember well the isolation the loneliness of being a young mum.

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  21. I was wondering where the chickens were. I'm glad to know they're safe.

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  22. Make sure you have a good breakfast!

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  23. Rest when you can, enjoy the adventure while it is happening.

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  24. Postnatal depression perhaps or just loneliness. Is there no babies and mums groups around? I know you mentioned an Eastern European girl with a new baby - is this the same lady or could they be introduced? Ask about flower group - she might be happy to get out the house. Can hand baby around. I was in that boat once - you can be very lonely with a baby.

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  25. It's amazing what you can cram into a day when needs be.

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  26. You are such a kind man. Off topic, I settled down to watch TWD last night and there had been a recording clash causing a part record.It ended half way through Daryl's speech from your post a few posts back. You can only imagine how frustrated I felt. Luckily we found a repeat on Sunday so have set that to record. Thank goodness I will still get to see it but will now have to wait until Sunday to continue the episode and see Carol and Daryl reunited. Grrrrr! Never mind, there are worse things in life..... just!

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  27. . . . . . ask her if she likes to bake. Perhaps she can take over Auntie Gladys' scone making - they're easy, and she would feel worthwhile and greatly appreciated. It would be something more exciting than warming baby bottles several times a day.

    Happy, busy days - hope Doris stays away.

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  28. I look forward to the first time you see her eyes smile, too. Hope it's soon.

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  29. You have such a kind intuitive heart. Good luck with your very busy day.

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  30. A kind word costs nothing.

    She'll be your 2,000th 'follower' you before you know it.

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  31. Tại Việt Nam đang có một siêu dự án 2017 Chung cư imperia sky garden sắp ra mắt sẽ làm điên đảo thị trường Chung cu ha noi giới đầu tư sục sôi tìm hiểu về dự án hot này, được biết dự án nằm tại vị trí 243 minh khai thuộc hệ thống Chung cư hai bà trưng, nơi đây từ lâu đã là phố xá sầm uất nhất Hà Nội, bên cạnh đó Chung cư cầu giấyChung cư thanh xuân cũng mọc lên vô vàn dự án cao cấp.

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  32. You are such a kind hearted soul John.

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  33. What if she reads your blog, and is embarrassed?

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  34. I was soooo lucky when my daughter was 4 , we lived a couple of houses away from a Broadway actor and his family ( a large family in a large house)
    While I was home with the new baby, my daughter and her little friend would go to the friends house, and play dress up, getting into mama and daddy's costumes. complete with makeup.
    I never knew what would come home for dinner :)

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  35. Perhaps when you've retired you can bay-sit for her? You won't notice another one, amongst all your other babies !

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  36. That should be baby sit !

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  37. Trust me, just chatting with her makes it much easier to function. Lack of adult interaction can get trying, no matter how much you love the baby or your life.
    I had no idea Gay Gordon passed, been online in spurts as of late. :( So sorry.

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  38. Good for you for reaching out to your new neighbor! I hope your busy few days proceed smoothly.

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  39. So glad you reached out to her. Wish someone had done that for me back in the day. I used to walk up to Safeway (35 years ago!)with baby in pram everyday just to mingle and hear other adult voices. Perhaps the church runs a playgroup or Mother and Toddler Group (you can take small babies there too sometimes)?She may not be the 'committee' type or feel it's too much a commitment with a small baby to look after.It's lovely that you care though.

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