" How's William?" And Cramming My Fat Arse into Budgie Smugglers!

Today's blog will be much of a missmash.

Most of the day I've been catching up with jobs .
The Prof now has a functioning curtain pole in his office and curtains that close!
And Winnie almost whipped herself into hysterics as a water main in the village burst, flooding our lane with water and over half a dozen workmen in overalls turned up to repair the damage!
I mooched around trying to find fucking curtain hooks for an age too, but I won't tell you about that saga, it's just too exciting a read.
At B&Q a woman I didn't know stopped me at the power tool aisle and asked how William was.
Apparently she reads Going Gently regularly ! I love all this minor celebrity shit so went all magnanimous in the meeting and promised to take off my " no anonymous commentating"  sanction so she can leave me a comment.
" let's hope Petra doesn't reappear" she said
People have long memories I thought.
I didn't falter in Sainsbury's so not a scotch Egg was bought, but I did but 40 mini cocktail sausages ass a treat for the dogs ( Winnie can get at least ten into her mouth at once!) I'm back weightwatching as we have two trips abroad to look forward to this year and I need to squeeze my fat arse into my best tropical pants!

( we have booked to meet family at my sister's birthday holiday in Sitges. Spain and I shall be carrying the Prof's paperwork on his trip to Melbourne later in the year) how exciting!

Where are you going on holiday this year? I'd be interested to know!

Sitges is very gay friendly! 
We don't go on the gay beaches though
We can't find budgie smugglers to fit
Hey ho! 

103 comments:

  1. We're going to have a week at The Lyons Robin Hood Park near Rhyl followed by a week at the Ocean Court B&B in Mablethorpe.

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  2. No Holiday for us John... we are still working on the house refurbish... it will be two years in June...sigh... But the house is coming along well so maybe next year... :) Your Holidays sound fabulous. Hugs! deb

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  3. We had planned to go to Portugal in February/March, but the pound/euro exchange rate has meant of change of plan -- especially as we go to France in June for several months. And then in the Fall I will be visiting my son in South Korea -- hope I have better look then with the exchange rate...

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    1. Korea sounds a blast....the country intrigues me

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  4. I'm starting a working holiday now, and the Mr. will join me in two weeks. San Francisco to begin with, and then some adventures further south in California. We may retire here!

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    1. Been to san fran twice and found myself missing the energy of New York

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  5. Last holiday I had was 1991, Amsterdam. I kid not. Never been able to afford one since, but there you are. (Boo hoo!)

    Pleased that Winnie's over the moon at her luck - not to mention that the Prof's pole is functioning again.

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    1. The prof's pole! You've been listening to " Im sorry I havent a clue " again !

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    2. Never miss it! Though it's never been quite as good as it was before Willy Russell departed. Still, it's good to know that the lovely Samantha is still there - erm, beavering on as ever.

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  6. What a fun read! " We can't find budgie smugglers to fit." I say just let it all hang out.

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    1. Thats what im worried about! My stomach!

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  7. Since last year I went to Cuba and Mexico, I'll be lucky to be a tourist in Florida this upcoming year. But that's okay.

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    Replies
    1. Cuba sounds exciting! Mexico less so....

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  8. I doubt we'll be having a proper holiday this year. It's the first year of true self sufficiency and by Summer there will be limited income coming in. We are however having two nights away and going to the Royal Welsh Show this this Summer, all booked and paid for now while we still can ;-)

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  9. I am reminded of our summers spent on Fire Island in NY ..
    Me, 2 small children and my husband in the City working.
    If you know about Fire Island, I was the most safe woman there ..

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    1. I dont....offtogoogle it! Oh i see xxx

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  10. Retired from running a b&b I am now visiting the places I sent the tourists to! Can't beat the North East of Scotland. One big plus is I don't have to wear a bikini. Ever.

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    1. I dare you! Go straight out a buy one

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  11. I'm also back on WeightWatchers so I can get my boobs into my wetsuit for our holiday to Cornwall

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    Replies
    1. Ali........me and you both! I need a bra

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  12. So ... How IS William?
    No vacation for me. I have to be happy in TN.

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    1. Totally blind in one eye and as gentle and as sweet natured as ever

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  13. I am hoping this year to be healthy enough to travel to Japan to see my family.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. How wonderful! Your style is rather oriental i always think

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    2. parsnip, my son will be there with his wife and family this summer .. North of Tokyo ..

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    3. Oh what Fun. I hope they have lovely Summer it is pretty awful, very hot, rainy and humid. I try not to visit around summertime.
      Relatives in Tokyo but most of family lives around Osaka and let me tell you Osaka is so much fun. I would have liked retiring there.
      There is a whole group of "Osaka Grandmother" who are crazy and have so much fun being sassy ladies. They die their hair wear sparkly and colorful clothes and do everything and anything. Most of all just have fun !

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  14. Hoping to visit family this year.My son has renovated an old Nashville home. Pictures are fine but I want to SEE it!I know my 94 yr. old Mom will hate to stay in a respite care home for a couple of weeks, but I'll go nuts if I don't take a break from 24/7 care-giving!!

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    1. Id like to see what he's done! But im a middle aged gay...we all love house renovation photos

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  15. Having a short break at Granny's Heilan' Hame (Google it!) with my sister in May. The joys of having a Senior Railcard!

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    1. Dont come knocking if the caravan is rocking

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  16. I hope you're not considering the alternative of a mankini....

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  17. Well normally I would be having a few camping holidays, near the sea in either Cornwall or Devon (I live in East Cornwall on Bodmin Moor) but as I am looking after son and daughter-in-law's cat, camping holidays are a no-no while he is here. But a few days out are on the cards! Sea, sand and sunshine will be the order of the days as well as lazy days sitting in my garden with books.

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    1. We are also going to Broadstairs for a week!
      Reading in the sun by the sea

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  18. You know, it's awfully hard to read with my hands over my eyes after that title!

    Good going on the "no Scotch egg" - you are stronger than I.

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    1. I have not touched one for three months!

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    2. You are showing great restraint, John. Good for you. You'll get your budgie where it needs to be!

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  19. What an exciting life you lead - all those tanned bodies to look forward to in Spain, a mound of cocktail sausages (if Winnie leaves you any) and a load of paperwork to carry to Melbourne.
    I am sure your fan would be so excited to see you in
    the power tool aisle.

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  20. Anonymous6:41 pm

    Hope I am not going to set a pigeon among the budgies. Never mind. It can't get worse than it already is.

    To understand my question first I'll declare my hand in as much as I don't know many gays. Which is, considering the circumstances, not surprising. I once was in love with one and before any of you get off on the wrong thread I knew from the outset he was gay. So no complications there.

    Let me swoon for a moment: The romance of being wooed by a gay man ... he not only sent me Valentine's cards, he sent me a card on Mother's Day. Chew on that one before it wears out.

    However, he and you, John, set me thinking. And instead of slaughtering me maybe you can explain something: It's a challenge to live with testosterone. Times TWO? How does that work?

    U

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    1. Anonymous7:38 pm

      You have just proven to me what I suspected.

      Since you are considered such a kind person would you mind taking down my comment, delete it in other words.Thank you.

      U

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    2. Dont be such a drama queen Ursula! You must admit -your prose sometimes needs a little clarification!

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    3. As for the testosterone comment.....one takes a deep breath on a daily basis

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    4. Same for a couple of lesbians. Double estrogen! Breathe deeply and let stuff roll off.

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  21. no holidays for me; I thought you were coming to new york city?

    "budgie smugglers" - bwhahahahahaha!

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  22. Our vacation plans are a trip to Germany in October...we cashed in some credit card points so got the flight cheap. It'll be nice to get out of Florida and into some cooler weather.
    On another note, don't I wish I was barreling down a grocery store aisle and there you were? How exciting. You just crack me up.

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    1. If i saw you in the supermarket i would spend my time sneaking things into your trolley

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  23. Hello from Idaho. Sure hope our sister birthday was lovely.
    I found your blog tough Andrew.
    If you fine the time stop over for a cup of coffee

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  24. Spain next month for four weeks with detours to Gibralter and either Monte Carlo or Marrakesh.

    Later in the year my travel bud and I are heading somewhere without the spousal units. Dithering between Romania and being tourists in Scotland (no side trips to relatives at all).

    After seeing an ancient German Omi in a string bikini, nothing makes me bat an eyelid on the beach.

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  25. Last year we went to Barmouth and Criccieth with friends from Italy and Austria. No plans yet for this year. We both have fair skin so we tend to steer away from sunny climes. Doctors orders.

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  26. Hello from NZ.
    Snap, Hubby and I are off to Melbourne in August for a couple of nights and then on to Nusa Lembongan (an island off of Bali) for a week. A trip away to celebrate my 50th birthday.

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  27. What, are you bragging that you'd need turkey smugglers or something?

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  28. I thought you guys were coming to NYC?

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    Replies
    1. We are overdue its still n the cards

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  29. A couple of weekends away here and there this year. Colwyn Bay this coming weekend and we were in Seven Sisters in Neath last weekend

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    1. Make sure you go to porth Eirias on the promenade!

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  30. Holidays?? I had to google that. No, seriously, we're retired....every day is a holiday,

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  31. Our street and window view here I'm afraid after job loss boo x

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    1. Always smiling me John start a new job in February x

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  32. We're off to sunny Barbados next month for two weeks, then to Bridlington in March for two days, and finally Rhodes for ten days with the family to celebrate Beloved's 70th this year. At the moment we have the time, the energy and the money. Take one element out of that equation and it all ends, so we are enjoying it while we can. We will probably have a couple of more horizons before the end of the year. 😉😉😉

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  33. Damn predictive text, AGAIN. Holibobs. And new horizons. 😆

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  34. Budgy smugglers? Shudder.
    No holidays here. And I haven't had one for a very long time. Antarctica. And it was blissful.

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  35. Going to the Dominican Republic in mid-March. I'm writing down my food (sort of a half-ass weight watchers attempt)every day and did a 20 minute work out from a DVD yesterday. Felt every. single. step. today. -Jenn

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    1. Im considering buying a tape worm

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    2. My cat just had a tape worm, so if you decide you don't want it anymore, I can help you out with that. -J.

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  36. Athens Greece in March. Just me and
    history books wandering around being a total Geek.
    Love the selfishness of going alone and doing just what I wan,t.?
    Prob just a long weekend, so do able now easyjet fly there. Staying most fab central family run little hotel😀🇬🇷

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    1. Wonderful! I am also going to ireland with my best friend to stay in her holiday cottage....the prof will be sailing around the Adriatic for a week

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    2. Love Ireland. Have spent weeks years ago travelling around, people are lovely!. Enjoy the Craik!.

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  37. Yay, you're coming to Australia!

    It's a fab place.

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  38. No holiday for me. The furthest I'll be going is bout an hour away to my daughter's house and that's far enough for me. I'm going to be a grandma for the first time in my life and that the only place I look forward to going.

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  39. I am off to Thailand in 16 days! (Who's counting). My eldest brother lives there and my niece is coming from England and we are overlapping for about a week! Have not seen her since 2003 so plenty of catchup!

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    1. 14 years! Bloody hell

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    2. We have spoken on Skype so I know what she looks like!

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  40. Actually, in 23 days time: I will be on your side of the pond! I am visiting the Suffolk area near Bury St. Edmunds. Very Excited!

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  41. Any plans to visit Sydney when you're in Australia?

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  42. If I can, I want go to across Australia to this year's OBOD Druid conference, but that is in august so a lot might happen between then and now. No budgie smugglers please, not on anyone! I prefer looking at a nice boy-leg myself (whatever they call it when men wear those!)

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  43. Trying not to spend the winter getting too out of shape ( that is a joke, I am an overweight grandma of 10). We are planning a cycling/driving trip through central British Columbia , Canada...700km through bear country with only a few towns to see. This will be our 7th trip, mostly in BC. I have come face to face with black bears, cariboo and a very huge buffalo-the size of a small car. I also carry a large container of bear spray (pepper spray) at all times when riding in the wilderness. Sometimes the humans are more scary than the wildlife. Unfortunately we have never had holidays in a sunny beach setting...hope you have a wonderful time.
    Barb

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  44. It's great to have an incentive to stick to the diet, but believe me, no matter how much you loose, budgie smugglers are never a pretty sight if the body's over 21! Please, John, don't do it!

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  45. Budgie smugglers, bwahaha! Love it (and nice pic there to show an example). Here they are often called 'banana hammocks'.

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  46. The last "holiday" I had was a road trip with a friend to see her father. Since he moved here, she and I stick a bit closer and visit parks. Not as nice as tropical destinations (I've seen plenty having grown up near the equator) but I do love getting out on the cheap. Enjoy your trips and I hope the pants fit.

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  47. Being summer in Sydney now - no need to holiday until winter time. And I'd forget the budgie smugglers John and go for a pair of boardies.

    We are heading to Bangkok and Koh Samui in winter (June) this year. Can wait for the breakfast buffets, that's all I look forward to on my hols.

    Picked up cheap business class tix return to Bangkok with Qantas.
    Hubby wont fly cattle class anymore.

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  48. We went to Barcelona a couple of years ago but we didn't go down to Sitges. Too intimidated! It's cool that random people come up to you and talk about your blog.

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  49. Lake District in the Spring, and Port Isaac in the summer.

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  50. No major trips planned for this year, a couple of fun work trips, California, and probably Chicago. Great picture above of the two of you and a friend from last summer - you look so different with a tan.

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  51. I don't think anyone could pay me enough to smuggle a budgie in my speedos.

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  52. Even if you don't want to squeeze into a budgie smuggler yourself, you can always just go and eye the ones that do, as long as they (and the Prof) don't mind.

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  53. Budgie smuggler is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. I just wish I could find some way to use it in my daily life.

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  54. For Christmas my husband has gifted me with a trip to Scotland!!! I am so excited! We've been watching Monarch of the Glen on Netflix to prepare. :D :D :D

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