Thursday, 26 January 2017

A Thought At A Traffic Light

This morning I had to attend several study sessions on Intermediate Life Support .
The Prof had several bigwig meeting booked too.
We were booked  into adjacent buildings.
I dropped him off, completed my study, shot back home to sort the animals out, then returned to pick him up and drop him at another meeting in another town.
It all felt terribly urban

He then had multifaceted strategies to sort out.
I went to jet wash the car!
We do inhabit very different workds during the day!

I had pulled up at a traffic light in the centre of a large nearby village when I spied the couple in the window seat of a cafe.
I know her fairly well even though she is an odious, bitter little woman with a nasty edge.
He, I quite like, for he is quiet and polite to the point of almost invisibility.
They were tucking into a lunch which looked as comforting as it was substantial.

I watched them for a moment before the traffic started to move on.
Both were tucking into their food with clear enjoyment. The wife nodding to her husband that
" ...it was very nice indeed! " and I suddenly felt just a tad guilty for disliking the woman who had irritated me for so long.
She had done nothing more than pucker up over a plate of burger and chips.
But for that tiny moment I recognised her humanity and felt the briefest twang of shame for my dislike of her

44 comments:

  1. Perhaps you formed your opinion too quickly. I think we are all guilty of that from time to time.

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    1. Or perhaps your long-since held opinion is actually a true likeness and he is just suffering from 'Stockholm syndrome ' ? We discussed that as well last night !!!!

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    2. Strange That I saw them today after our conversation!

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    3. Was it them ?

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  2. It's easy to develop fixed opinions about people based on slim evidence. Most of us have endearing qualities as well as traits that will repel others.

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    1. Sometimes believe me, its hard to dog out the good

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  3. Don't beat yourself up John....sometimes we are in moods that determine how we feel about someone..and then lo and behold, at another time, another mood, and we feel differently.

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  4. I think it is human nature to have contradicting feelings from time to time. I know from my workplace that there is someone I dislike, but every so often I feel guilty for these feelings (am always nice to the person on the outside though). Goes to prove some people are not nice but you can still feel some compassion for them (at times).

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    1. Your last sentence is perfect me thinks

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  5. i too think we can all be guilty of that, often i sound like my mother, ive sometimes only to look at someone to think ooh i dont like you! god only knows why because i get on with everyone, when i open my mouth my mother comes out.. i can hear her now 'i just dont like the girl' heck im turning into mother :)
    sammie xx

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  6. I dislike Benedict Cumberbatch and James Corden for no valid reason.

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  7. Sometimes all it takes is seeing someone in a different environment to see that they are not quite as bad as we thought. On the other hand, some people are just nasty. Most people are a mixture, it's a matter of proportion. Okay, I'm not adding anything someone else hasn't already said, so I'll stop now. I'm just thinking of so many different people, including myself probably from other peoples' point of view, that come to mind with this post.

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    1. I think i just saw them as human

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    2. Yes, in my wordy way, that's what I was saying :)

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  8. Ships that pass in the night. It is so easy to make snap decisions about people which turn out to be unfair, but once the decision is made it does tend to stick in one's mind.

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    1. I still am correct in my assessment pat.....i just feel a tad ambigious

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  9. I have learnt from serving customers in village shops to look at the bigger picture and have even put a smile on the grumpiest of faces.

    In my time battling depression while looking after two small children & with a husband working overseas I was told after I'd dared to grumble about being exhausted to a friend that, "I had nothing on my plate" I guess I looked healthy with two beautiful children, a home a lovely dog & so called good life. I've never forgotten the harsh words.

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    1. I think we all need a little sympathy

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  10. I think that sometimes we must look further than our first impressions of people John .... first impressions aren't always right. Also, people often have horrible things going on in their lives which can reflect in their persona ... I think that I'm still learning this even at my age !!!! XXXX

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    1. Ive known the person many years

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  11. I was on the other side of the window this morning - tucking into a nice cooked breakfast in Sainsbury's cafe, waiting while the car was having its MOT.
    Sometimes too easy to judge people. We all do it whether we like to admit it or not, so don't feel too bad!

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    1. What did you have? Sausages?

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    2. It's always sausage time.

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  12. I've done that before too; it shows your kind heart to notice that.

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  13. First impressions, and even on occasions second impressions, can turn out to be totally misleading. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt with the way I think of them. It doesn't always work ;-)

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    1. Like i said before ive had 100 such impressions

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  14. I have only ever had one instant reaction to someone that scared me, it was visceral in its intensity. I was so scared that I hid behind my husband ( without my hubby noticing, of course). I couldn't be in the same room as this man, he was so intense, he scared the life out of me. Some time later this man had a severe mental breakdown. I know he has passed away now and hope that he found the peace he deserved.

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  15. People are complicated aren't they?

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  16. When someone is truly objectionable, I put myself out to force them to smile at me. Takes years, sometimes. I don't have to like them, though. But they have to like me. Heh.

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    1. In this case, because i love food so much, i felt a twang of connection .........

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  17. It is rare that I really dislike someone and if I do, I focus on anything about them that can be criticised but often not really knowing why I dislike them.

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    1. If I dislike.... I really dislike

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  18. It could be that even though she was enjoying her lunch, she could have been bitter, nasty and odious to the wait staff! Tigers generally don't change their stripes, but they do have them for a reason.

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    1. I was talking about me lori....and my reaction
      I suspect she wont change in any way x

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  19. My mother worked alongside a German nurse who was very sharp, demanding and hard as nails. She terrified drs, patients, fellow staff (and their children!) 'You will have the needle or you will have the pain!' was just one of her infamous rants. She was absolutely outstanding at her job and so she was kept on. My mother was always polite and respectful to her and one day, when they were alone in the lunch room, she confided that she suffered a series of horrific gang rapes when Berlin fell at the end of the war. She was just as nasty after the revelation, but our feelings about her had changed and the women who worked there kind of closed ranks around her and cherished her instead.

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  20. Hope this posts just once but here goes, we really dont have to like everyone. But we should be kind.

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  21. I cannot stand mean, cruel people. However, I know they have their moments and can appear to be decent and vulnerable at times. I want to give them a chance, but I am usually put back into a position of being hurt again. A leopard never changes his spots.

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  22. Sometimes I don't feel comfortable being around someone for no apparent reason. Maybe they remind me of someone I had a bad encounter with.

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