Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Saying the RIGHT thing.

I wrote a brief blog a few days ago that received quite a great deal of attention.
It was a blog about saying the wrong thing.
This blog entry came out of a chance conversation I had today with a dear friend
It's about saying the right thing! 
It's a true story.

My friend recalled the time her mother died.
Decisions were made about her care home that wrongly upset siblings and soon after her mother eventually passed away after a short illness my friend was left devastated, guilty, and incredibly tearful with her sisters' anger to deal with as well as her own grief and loneliness

Soon after, hen she was back home,  there was a knock at the door and a woman my friend didn't recognise stood there requesting some apples she had for sale. Strange as it would seem, the woman, who looked Romany, wanted only red apples not green, explaining that her mother liked only red.
My friend was initially irritated, but because the woman had mentioned her mother, she obliged with the request, which pleased the visitor.

As she was leaving, the gypsy turned to my friend and looked her carefully in the eye.
" You know you have nothing to feel guilty about " she said gently" You have done nothing wrong" 

It was all the vindication and support that my friend needed and she sat at the kitchen table and sobbed and sobbed as a great weight left her shoulders.

36 comments:

  1. A very wise gypsy, who knew the right time to come for apples.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it sounds like a pile of crap when ive written it.... But it did give me goosebumps when i heard it

      Delete
    2. And me. And no, it didn't sound like crap. Sometimes the right people materialise at just the right time.

      Delete
    3. Just gave me goosebumps! Some people just have incite. A gypsy read my palm once and much came true.

      Delete
  2. Things happen we cannot explain. Sometimes they are amazing. As in this case.
    Thank you for relating this story, John Gray.

    ReplyDelete
  3. we think we know everything but we only know those things we can quantify and qualify. there are things going on that we just don't for the most part, have the sensory organs to detect. and there are those who would tell you it was no coincidence that the gypsy came to her door. I'm glad your friend found the release.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I told my friend it was great timing on the gypsy's point!

      Delete
  4. Synchronicity, serendipity... does it matter what it's called? What matters is that it happens.

    I heard the right thing today although it wasn't from a friend; rather, it was from my new boss. One of the things they do (since I'll be working with the public) is have a potential new hire greet people when they come in. They want to see how often you can elicit a smile without having to descend to ridiculous tactics.

    So what did she say after observing my interactions? "You're the only person I've seen who got a smile from every single person she spoke to." Then she revised the offered pay upward by a dollar an hour.

    After not working for so many years, that really set me up. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What goes around..........

      Delete
    2. THAT IS WONDERFUL NEWS. Leaking eyes and happy dances from here.

      Delete
  5. I love goosebump stories. Well done and food for thought. X

    ReplyDelete
  6. Be kind to strangers because you may entertain angels unaware - or something like that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have been a long time reader of yours and I think this is my favorite post. It just is...

    ReplyDelete
  8. MARY has it right. One never knows when but angels come when needed.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MARY has it right. One never knows when but angels come when needed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. There was a Romany family living near me, they lived in a bungalow and the grandmother lived in a vardo at the bottom of their garden as she couldn't settle in bricks and mortar. She used to go door to door selling pegs and lace. I answered the door to her one day in 1983, I didn't buy anything but she pointed at my stomach and said 'It's a boy and you will carry this one to term'. I wasn't even sure I was pregnant as it was early days. She was correct it was and I did.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like Mary's comment.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This post is also rather timely. We are three days away from the first anniversary of my father's death. Dad couldn't speak towards the end and was trying desperately to communicate with us. In hindsight, we can now guess what he was probably trying to say but the fact we didn't respond correctly fills us with guilt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no need to feel guilty, he is at peace now and so should you be. xx

      Delete
  13. That is so comforting.

    ReplyDelete
  14. A friend of mine's elderly mother received a distressing phone call from another elderly friend once, and the other woman was intears because she had just had her foot amputated. After quite a long time hearing about how everything was getting her down, my friend's mother said, "What you need to do is have a nice cup of tea and put your feet up."

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some of us just know.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  16. The right kindness, at the right time, can make all the difference.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Many years ago, a few days before a friend's wedding, a youngish gypsy girl came to our door. On opening it, she stood there carrying a small basket and said "Would you buy some heather, please? You are soon going to a wedding." I've never ceased to regret my curt 'No!" and closing the door in her face.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You know, you have a gift for making me cry! And I'm grateful... I think. So pleased your friend had that experience and I hope it had a long-term effect.

    ReplyDelete
  19. That kind of thing has happened to me too many times for me to just dismiss it as coincidence or nonsense or the like.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I need a gypsy today. Thanks for the story, John.

    ReplyDelete
  21. John, I would guess that you have said helpful words to many people, sometimes without even being aware ... just letting the words come naturally.

    Thanks for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sometimes, God will send an angel to tell us what we need so desperately to hear so we may begin to heal

    ReplyDelete
  23. Goosebumps here too. Love this story, John.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I walked into my kitchen one morning, carrying laundry from a back bedroom, shocked to find two Romany women standing inside my house. They were wearing authentic clothing, with little crocheted collars and long skirts and other doodads. I was wearing my usual rags. I heard no words of wisdom, if they'd had any advice it probably would have been housecleaning hints. Someone told me later they were probably casing the joint. I didn't care, there is absolutely nothing in my shabby little house that I wouldn't freely give to anyone who wanted it. It gave me something to talk about for the rest of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  25. About 8 years ago I was in bed (about 2 am). Ex was still at home and blasting the TV or the music at that ungodly hour. I was dreaming that I was in England (despite the fact that I live in France) and taking care of a small baby who was ill and kept messing itself BUT I knew it was my dad (can't figure that one out). I was not living in England and was therefore not the one looking after my dad at the end of his life but in my dream my family was out and I was taking care of the baby that was my dad. I kept trying to clean the baby up and put it back to bed and every time I did so baby/dad messed himself again and I had to clean him off and change his clothes. At the time it was at the height of my husband's violent onslaughts and rages and I was just at my wits end. Eventually I picked baby/dad up and said "look I can't do this if you don't help me"! All of a sudden the baby became a young man (my dad) and was totally clean and beautifully turned out. He looked at me and said "if only you realized how close I am to you, you would know everything will be ok"! I woke up sobbing (and I am not given to crying) and when my kids and ex rushed in to find out what the matter was, I realized it was 17 July, the anniversary of my dad's death, and he had come back to tell me he was there and I would be ok. And he was right, my ex buggered off to torment someone else, I filed for divorce, ex is now in the US tormenting yet another someone else, I don't doubt, and my kids and I are totally happy here in France - so you see, my dad was looking out for me. Anna

    ReplyDelete
  26. As the great song, Wanderer, by Leslie Fish goes: "Always be kind to travelers, wandering near or far. Always be kind to travelers, you don't know who they are!" The song is about Odin, but then who knows who the gypsy really was? :D

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x