Monday, 2 May 2016

The sense I Was Born With


The Prof wants to go to town today.
So in a hurry I wanted to take Mary for her two mile trot.
Crocs,( no socks) tracksuit bottoms ( no underwear) and a thick sweatshirt was the outfit of choice
( well it was only overcast!)
The heavens opened in biblical proportions by the time I had passed Purgatory ( an apt old name for a house up towards the Gop ) and suddenly I looked lke Shelley Winters at the end of The Poseidon Adventure.
The farmer at Bryn Odyn who was passing stopped his large pick up and told me to get in, He was laughing but it was one of those chuckles that was tinged with " this guy's a lunatic" kind of tone.
An assessment probably supported by the fact that I couldn't cock my leg high enough to clamber up  into the passenger seat. ( and when I did I unfortunately showed too much sodden arse cheeks to any passing car).
Finally , Mary and I rolled into the pickup like two bears climbing into a litter bin but not before  I lost my right croc on the road .
"Hang on I!ve lost me flip flop" I chirped
The farmer started to shake his head in disbelief.
Meanwhile, Mary excited at all this attention,  stood with her paws on the dashboard.
" I'm 54 next month..I really should know better" I told the farmer as he drove me home.
He didn't argue the point.


62 comments:

  1. John Gray, you aint got the sense you was born with!

    dont worry, all butt cheeks look pretty much alike

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  2. Crocs and no underwear? At your age?

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    Replies
    1. I'm 62; I wear clogs and no undies; what's wrong with that?

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    2. But OUTSIDE the house?

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    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. you are so funny!

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    5. It's very " free-ing Thomas"

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    6. @tom - yes, OUTSIDE the house!

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    7. So it is true - personal standards really do drop when you get older. I haven't noticed this trend in myself.

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    8. Ask this question next time you are just about to leave the pub and see what they say x

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    9. @tom - at my age, I don't give six shits what other people think!

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    10. You've never seen me leave the pub - only once have I walked into a lamp post, and that was years ago and because someone gave me a pure skunk joint on top of three pints. Anyway, I don't need 'freeing' - just the reverse.

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  3. This post made me laugh out loud. Thank you ... you've cheered up my day!

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    Replies
    1. I think it gave the farmer a small sparkle too!

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    2. I wish I could hear the story after a few retellings.
      Pretty soon you will be wearing bunny ears and a batman cape.

      cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  4. You paint the picture so vividly John! I cannot imagine anything remotely like this ever happen to the Prof! Did you tell him about it?

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    Replies
    1. It hasnt
      And no, I didnt tell him...its not worth the aggravation

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  5. Wish I was there for the show. You are four years younger than I am.

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  6. 6:45a and I have my coffee and your blog. a good start to a crappy day.

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  7. A vision of loveliness! Thanks for a great start to a yucky Monday!

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  8. My son will be 54 in July... he says he doesn't wear underwear (I've not checked, nor do I want to)... as for the crocs, I don't know. So... maybe your malady is an age thing ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Or i am just an old slut

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  9. Are they expiating their sins in Purgatory? What an odd name for a house.

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    Replies
    1. It was a smallholding and was called purgatory for years....some say it was on a pilgrim route

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  10. Oops. Well, at least he waited for you to retrieve your "flip flop"!

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  11. Crocks are arguable when worn out in public, but sportswear, ie track suit bottoms, is not and who really wants to see your junk flopping around in the aforesaid.

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  12. You make my day seem so calm and peaceful! You are a touchstone for my serenity.

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  13. Oh dear, I found one croc in the washing machine this weekend, nobody knows how it ended up in with the washing but I now have one shiny croc and a mucky looking one. Such is life x

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  14. NOT a good day to go commando!

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  15. I am sure he didn't argue the point John but he'll have a good story to tell in the pub tonight.

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  16. well, it was only a 2 mile trot. I'd have done the same.

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  17. I wonder what the locals' nickname is for you. Or have I asked before and just don't remember? According to my father, none of his kids were even born with any sense. "If you had half a brain, you'd be dangerous," was his kind comment.

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    Replies
    1. my grandmother used to say the same thing to her 6 grandkids!

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    2. I used to get that comment, along with "if you had one more brain cell, they'd both rattle".

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  18. I don't understand this leg thing. I'm older than you can can still get my leg up!

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    Replies
    1. " an over" by all accounts

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    2. @bel-ami: I would have a very difficult time getting into a high car/truck since I have arthritis and my short fat legs can only go so far up.

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  19. Two bears climbing into a litter bin - what a wonderful image that conjures up.

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    Replies
    1. Great simile for sure! Loved it too!

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  20. Another day in paradise eh John?

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  21. John
    That picture is not something to view postprandial, eh?
    Cheers,
    Mike

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    Replies
    1. It would drop that blood sugar to 0

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  22. Did the farmer creep out and take your photo, John? He'd need proof when he tells the story in the pub !

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  23. It is dangerous to leave you on your own, John!!

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    Replies
    1. Its been said before jimbo

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  24. The visuals you paint...I chuckled heartily at you.

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  25. I've heard that your butt is not all it's cracked up to be John ! :P

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    Replies
    1. You are sooo right

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    2. @elaine - bwhahahahahahahaha!

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  26. I wish Blogger had a "like" button. This had me laughing out loud, nearly spilled me morning caffeine. But John, crocs? Are you sure you're gay?

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    1. I had an erection at " Gladiator" so I know Im gay

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    2. Oh well, Russell in a skirt. Totally understandable.

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    3. My favourite doctor, who retired, the bitch... was a big fan of crocs. Yes, he was gay.

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  27. I adore you John...I really do.

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  28. This was one of your posts that I had to read out to my husband to perk up his morning. :D

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  29. It sounded like normal life in the country to me.

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  30. Years ago I got caught in a torrential storm as I was walking home. I had a very full dress on and as I got completely drenched the dress seemed to weigh more than me. I still remember the struggle of walking with that saturated dress on .

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  31. Perhaps because he wouldn't merely want to go into town...upon hearing the whole story, I imagine that he very well might want to MOVE. Just grin and bear it if he starts serenading you with "There's a Moon Out Tonight..."

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