Thursday, 18 December 2014

I Never Thought.........

I never thought I would ever get married.
It just wasn't on my radar, so to speak.
Writing 40 Christmas cards to old friends I never really get to see, has meant that 40 times I have written the words
" oh by the way, we are getting married in March !". time and time again
and the reaction to the news has been an interesting one.
One old friend, a psychiatric nurse from Cambridge wrote in her card " typical of you...always a late starter!" Whereas another just penned the words " fucking Hell!"
Suffice to say the reactions have all been positive ones.
Auntie Gladys mentioned my " husband to be" during her cooking demonstration yesterday
and the words suddenly sounded all so real
I am going to be a husband!
I am going to have a husband of my own!
In the history of my life... Through my nursing days in Chester, York and Sheffield , my former relationships, my urban city family days, my growing up in a small Welsh town and my time in Trelawnyd....
I never would have believed that I'd be someone's husband
And now it's almost there!
Bloody hell!





92 comments:

  1. Husband husband,so confusing. Never is the question asked who does whom? (respect for your more conservative village readers made me write that less crudely than I otherwise may have) The question is always, who does the housework and who does the cooking and they think they work things out from there.

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    1. And if they think those things define a relationship I am sorry for them.
      Congratulations John. Slow learners rule.

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  2. "Mazal tov" as we say in hebrew. Which means good luck and you deserve it.Any one who you are his husband is lucky i think.

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    1. I always wanted to step on the glass Yael xx

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    2. You know a lot I see:)xxx

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  3. Animal Husbandry, Domestic Husbandry - will it change your life?

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    1. Ok ok I have fucking acknowledged your comment
      Happy now?

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    2. He's even more needy than me.

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  4. And the choice of bridesmaid? I can picture Winnie now with her big bow and sparkling tiara, snuffling along by your side.
    Getting excited now, eh?

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  5. Marvelous! Cant wait to see the pictures!

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  6. And both of you deserve joy, just please share the photos so we can rejoice along with you!

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  7. Absolutely wonderful, wish we could all be there for the happy event.

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  8. you are already an outstanding husband but it's always nice to have the official papers.
    i'm looking forward to celebrating your big day, no matter how distantly

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  9. Exciting! I am so happy for you!

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  10. I am really happy for you John. You will have many people celebrating with you come March. And I don't think we need a response to Andrew's question.

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  11. So is your husband going to keep you in the style to which you're accustomed? Or is he expecting the other way round?

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  12. Waiting to raise a virtual glass of champagne to you both. Chris is a very lucky man xx

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  13. Brilliant, I said I'd never get married, I did, thought I'd never have children, along came Twiglet 9 years later!! Can't recommend it enough. Hope you'll be very happy.
    I do love the thought of Winnie being a bridesmaid :)
    Twiggy

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  14. Just around the corner....the count down is on!

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  15. We married in 2010 simply because we needed the certificate for our visa applications. Thankfully it was possible to legally more in some (less than 10) states in the USA at the time. I was stunned at how emotional I got about it and how momentous an occasion it was. Like you, I never thought I'd be a husband. Never thought I'd HAVE a husband. I am so happy for you and Chris, and so happy with the response you're receiving.

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  16. Are you going to keep individual surnames or join them? We hyphenated our names because there is no way on earth I would give up my birth surname.
    Jane x

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    1. He can't change his name ( his publications are all in one name)
      I would quite like being Burton- Gray though

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    2. That has a nice ring to it.

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    3. Burton Gray. Sounds so distinguished.

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  17. Marriage is a wonderful thing, provided you find the right person! Chris is a lucky man. I predict many years of happiness for the two of you!

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  18. All the very best to you both!

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  19. I've been married to Himself for 28 years (I was a child bride) but the actual 'marriage' bit has never had any resonance with me. We had a 'blink and you'll miss it' RO ceremony and even that seemed a lot of fuss. We'd have been happy with a civil partnership tbh, if it had been available for straight couples. Not very romantic am I?
    I was happy to change my name though. My maiden name is Polish and was the bane of my life when growing up....

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  20. Good to see you're not having second, or third, thoughts. re Wanda's comment above; what happens about names?

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  21. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

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  22. Speaking for myself, I quite like having a husband. I think the two of you will like it too.

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  23. and why should you NOT be married? I still wish I could attend; alas, I will have to be content with photographs from your happy day!

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  24. A shy and blushing feeling; hold on to it.

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  25. Yeah, it's a pretty strange concept for GLBTQ people to wrap our minds around, isn't it? When I first came out in the 1980s, if anyone had mentioned the idea of same-sex marriage, they would have been laughed out of the room. They might as well have been talking about going to Mars. I'm sure you remember those days too. How times have changed! And for the better, of course.

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  26. I look forward to seeing the photo of one of you carrying the other over the threshold. No, don't tell us - we want to be surprised.

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  27. It sounds like the lovely shiny, happy penny has just dropped :-)

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  28. Life has a habit of smacking us 'upside the head' doesn't it lol?

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  29. Life is funny that way.
    Just when you think you have it all figured out life sends you smack to the head !

    cheers, parsnip

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  30. Just a matter of days, really!

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  31. No jitters!!! A dream come true.

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  32. Ah, John, you made me think of my father, who was a very different thinker for his generation (you and I are roughly the same age).

    He worked with a number of gay men for a very long time in his trade. I remember him organizing a whip round for flowers once. His friend had been absent from work due to "a death in the family". When he returned to work, Dad found out his long time-partner had died and he wasn't sure how people at work would take it (this was in the early 80s in Vancouver). Dad did the whip round and basically told people that "X's long time partner had died and we're treating this like anybody who's had a spouse die".

    I'm not saying that Dad was a great forward thinker. He just accepted everybody for who they were and looked at the person. If he liked you, he liked you, didn't judge what you did outside work and was there if you needed him.

    Mum got the surprize of her life at a Shirley Bassie (sp?) concert when Dad was dragged off by a set of drag queens for drinks.

    Anyhoo, having drifted far off topic, when in March is the big day? May it be a sunny and beautiful day for your family

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  33. Oh, I guess now that I am going to rain of everybody's parade. Having been married now 45 years, I can say that I would never do it again! I did not see the point of marriage even then, but I did want children and having children out of wedlock then was just not done. Still, I only see the point of a legal ceremony if you need to protect offspring. Other than that, I just don't get it.

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    1. Agree. Done it twice and it was only for legal reasons. First time was because back in the day, you couldn't get married quarters if you weren't married and the second time because I was pregnant.

      My Granny told me just to just shack up back in the 80s!

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    2. I think I am just happy at being treated with the sane courtesy as 51 % of the population

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  34. I think it is a wonderfully sweet thing that you are doing for yourself and your other half.....Vx

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  35. Marvelous...the good thing about not having a wife is that at least you have a fighting chance of winning an argument....

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  36. Are you wearing anything special for the big day?

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    1. Channel #5 is my favorite!! It doesn't give me a headache and I don't think you smell it coming and going when I wear it! My mother would always buy me a bottle at Christmas if I was running low!

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    2. I was joking,....I always wear Clinique happy
      It's my ONLY extravagance xxxx

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    3. And, I don't like Happy!! It just doesn't work for me.

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    4. A clean shirt.

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  37. It's wonderful and I know exactly how you feel. I was 37 when I married David and for a woman that is OLD, apparently! I still feel blessed - it's not always music and roses around ere in fact we've been through a lot of sh*t, but we went through it together.
    In regards to names, I believe in Germany the spouse of a doctor takes the title and their own, which would make you Dr Mr Grey. Kinda cute?

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    1. Of course it wouldn't, but maybe Dr Mr Gray? (Spot the auditory learner!)

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  38. 'Husband' has a certain ring to it, don't you think? Especially when there are two!
    It takes a short while to make an adjustment to hearing this coming from one's mouth, John. You can do it!! We did!

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  39. I love a bit or romance! I love reading good news too xx

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  40. I love weddings. Wishing you both every happiness.

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  41. Congratulations and best wishes.

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  42. Winnie's Biker Sister

    http://www.wimp.com/bulldogwaves/

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  43. Bottom line, I cannot WAIT for the pictures. May your bliss continue on my dear. Crocs, manure and all :)

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  44. What a beautiful moment of realization. Congratulations on having a simple, unquestionable way to talk about the most important person in your life. I know how important and comforting that must be. :)

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    1. You'd best be using the word "fiancé" while you have the chance, too! Did you ever tell us who proposed to whom?

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    2. Well in fact I booked the whole thing then told him

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    3. Wow, John, that just may be the way to get my own sweet wife to the altar...or magistrate, as the case may be. Brilliant!

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  45. Congratulations! I too am a slow learner, celebrate my 50th birthday on New Year's day but am getting married to the love of my life two days before that!

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  46. Thank you all for your comments..... I have been out all night on an extra shift at SAMS so it's a lemsip and bed for me
    Thanks again xx

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  47. My word, you know how to live - Lemsip and bed, eh?
    Sleep well, John. x

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    1. Rock n roll rambler
      Rock and roll

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  48. Excited? Much! G'night John-boy. xxx

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  49. Very exciting - try to enjoy it and not let the details stress you (my daughter just got married, so I know all about that!). On another topic - I remember you posting about enjoying the BBC serial Craven; have you heard of the US podcast "Serial" (yes, that's the name, lol)? It just wrapped up today, and people across the country were skipping work, taking breaks, closeting themselves in their offices, etc, to listen to it. It's been a phenomenon! Check it out if you can...

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  50. I am so happy for you and Chris! And, I am so happy that equality is starting to bloom all over the world. We've waited a long time... and many are waiting still.

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  51. I'm so very happy for you and Chris!

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  52. Hello John, I enjoy popping into your blog but don't always leave a comment, tisk on me. However, today I wanted to say how wonderful and congratulations.

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  53. So happy for you dear one! :). You are all a twitter and it is beautiful.

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  54. I often think anticipation is a little-celebrated but huge part of a happy event. Enjoy!

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  55. You will be a happy couple. I want to be the flower girl, or at least a bride's maid, though I guess it should be a groom's maid.

    Love,
    Janie

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  56. Wishing you and Chris the best. I know it is going to be a grand day and I wish I could be there! The big day will be here before you know it!! I am not a big fan of marriage. So many times it ruins a perfect relationship!! LOL! I know that will not be the case for you because you are such a sweetheart, and you and your soon to be husband seem perfectly matched.

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  57. Husband....sounds good doesn't it? x

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  58. I thought you'd be the missus John.......lol

    Hopefully one day they will legalise marriage for same sex couples downunder.

    It's not for me though - been in three relationships (25years, 13 years and current one for 13 years) and I'm only 59. Work that one out.

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  59. Congratulations! About time the laws changed. Enjoy your day.

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  60. Happiness to you and your fiancé, John! You will post photos of your glorious affair, won't you? We will be breathless with anticipation! I'm glad you both found each other. What made you take the bull by the horns and just book the thing? Were you so sure that Chris would say yes? How romantic! We will all attend in spirit!

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  61. Congratulations, and many blessings for your lives from this point forward.

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  62. Just had time to catch up on reading. So congratulations to you both and best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

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