Garlic Farts

Chris has gone to London for work, then he's off to spend a few days 
With his family in Kent
He won't be back for a week.
I treated me and the dogs to a pepperoni pizza tonight
It was Winnie's first experience of a " thick garlic crust"
And I think she liked it given the amount of herby farts coming from her cage at bedtime


27 comments:

  1. Hi am just reading your blog from the beginning,not is a stalker kinda way. Its not weird is it?I just love your style and you make me laugh a lot. But tonight I cried when I read about your Fin. Big blobby tears as I really shared your pain x

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    1. Finlay was my first dog. He was a delight
      If it wasn't for him.... Non of the other animals would have arrived....
      I still cannot hear CHASING CARS without getting a lump in my throat

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  2. open the windows, john, before winnie makes you put on the gas mask!

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  3. I thought of you this past weekend John as the conversation at a dinner party (informal) I was hosting got onto the topic of farts. My friend who is a flight attendant said that people start moving about the aircraft after the meal is served quietly letting them off, the flight attendants call this "Crop Dusting". I thought to myself, I must tell John that one!

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    1. Chania I loved this....I always pretend to go for linen in the linen room when I need to fart at work.....
      It's the same principle
      However I love the term " crop dusting" better x

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    2. Speaking of farts, beds and gas masks - John, you must read this. It was hilarious - http://middleagedreflections.blogspot.com.au/2014/07/what-is-it-with-men-and-farting.html

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  4. All of our dogs like a bit of pizza crust but Buddha, our rescued Boston, has made gaseous emissions thereafter into a (noxious) art form.

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  5. I've never noticed that a particular food sets off Harper. Sometimes he simply cuts the cheese. I can handle it, but Willy Dunne Wooters complains that Harper farts make his eyes water. I've never noticed Franklin farting. I wonder if he farts and runs away and lets us think it's yet another Harper fart.

    Love,
    Janie

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  6. Two men in a bed would be enough gaseous emissions but add the dogs too and Lordy, too much. Miss Tilly loves pizza crust as well but i havent tried a garlic one on her. Since she sleeps in the bed attached like a growth to my chest, im not sure im going to.

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  7. One word, John, Febreze. It works miracles. I use it on my husband often.

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    1. Anonymous8:34 am

      Thanks for the tip, shall put said product on my shopping list!!

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  8. One of the vets that was looking at my girl CarrieAnne this past week bent over and blamed a "bottom blast" on her, but I knew it was him -- Carrie is a lady and in 12 years, I've never heard a "fanny-beep" from her -- But I've never given her garlic pizza! :-)

    (do you like my substitute words for farts?)

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    1. LOL Kim! 'Two nations divided by a common language' - for sure :-)

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  9. Have a wonderful weekend, John. God bless you all! ♥

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  10. Anonymous3:06 am

    That man is always gone. Hope you enjoy alone time. You and the Ark.

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  11. Like me .... my two Pekingese never fart!

    * Well, that's our story and we are sticking to it!

    * Watched the Comm Game Opening the other night and I just LOVED those Scottie dogs!!!
    Please give your George a squeezed on the nose for me --- I tell ya... If I lived near you , Mr George would be "missing" :)

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  12. My little Ben does the odd Silent But Deadly, my other half can be heard a hundred yard away, and smelled. My nephew called it a trouser cough when he was 4.

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  13. thank God,some normality in this crazy crazy world... John is back to writing about farts... ;-)

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  14. Nothing like letting one rip to give one a feeling of accomplishment. Keep the windows open, and play a duet with Winnie.

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  15. As a loather of garlic smells (both on others' breaths and in one's own food) perhaps you can 'treat' Winnie to the odourless garlic perles such as I take - though I don't know if it means 'odourless' at both ends. (Can't say I've attempted to discern any difference myself). But, of course, Winnie will be eating your pizza because she DOES like the garlicky smell and taste, therefore I reckon that keeping a safe distance should be the order of the day.

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    1. As an afterthought, "loather of garlic" sounds a but strong, and the last thing I should want to do is to offend any of my garlic-munching blog-chums. So, please substitute 'detester'. ;-)

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  16. My OH is spending the weekend with his old schoolmates and their annoying 'yummy mummy' wives, so me and the pooches may have to partake in pizza. No garlic stuffed crust here though, Gluten free offerings aren't that fancy

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  17. Poor Winnie always gets the blame!

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  18. You can let it all hang out for a week then John!

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  19. "herby farts" sounds so much better than "noxious farts", "room-clearing farts" or "poison gas farts". John can make anything sound elegant!

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  20. My X had a poodle, that would eat anything if you sprinkled garlic salt on it, as to the gas, there is more room on the outside then on the inside.

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  21. This post was to make Chris homesick, wasn't it?

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