Thursday, 19 June 2014

Pulling oneself up By The Bra Straps

The badgers have been on the field longer than we have been in he cottage, and their " runs" criss cross the acre of land from Churchyard to stream.
They are there for the duration and it is increasingly worrying that their leader now has a taste for chicken
This morning,
I had a fleeting moment of " what's the point" and contemplated giving up on everything feathered for a while before picking myself up by my bra straps, buying an " emergency " scotch egg in way of support and setting to work.
With the help of neighbour John and affable despot Jason we moved the larger coops to a square of cleared land up by the gate nearest the cottage.
Jason was showing off with his best American accent and kept us amused with his tv commentator
" when Badgers go bad" impersonation as the Ukrainian village was dismantled and relocated.
The old and frail coops have now been destroyed and each of the remaining houses, have all been strengthened and fixed with new locks fitted and mesh grills erected over doors and poop holes.
With all of the coops in one position, a piece of land perhaps fifty feet square  can be surrounded  by two strands of electric wire much more easily.




58 comments:

  1. Now I'm worrying that an electric fence designed to give a badger a nasty shock will kill a poor little hen. How do you avoid that?
    Whatever, I hope it puts an end to the carnage.

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    Replies
    1. Turn fence on after the hens are in their coops for the night... Off during the day...

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    2. Birds tend to be well insulated with feathers to be zapped, but Sharon was right ....the wire would only be switched on at night.
      Mind you I have to get around the geese and ducks who would crash into strands of wire

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  2. Better safe than sorry.

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  3. Well done John, hopefully you can co-exist with the badger with your increased safety measures. It is a good thing when you can move on from a set back, and you've had a few lately with livestock! Unlike the bitch in the pink singlet animals usually enhance our lives, for her there is no hope. Jan B.

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    1. The badgers have lived alongside the hens for years with only an occasional killing
      I am just worried this one badger has a taste for hen and may not be put off by tough security x

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  4. Hey ho, that's the spirit!
    (btw, you didn't tell us that you took the bra from the 'lady in Pink' at Tesco's..)

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    1. I wasn't so positive this morning els

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  5. Don't get shocked! I could imagine me forgetting to turn off the fence in the morning. But not you, of course. Looks like a cozy haven for the chicks.

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  6. Quite awesome of John and Jason to lend a hand like that. And wait, we Americans have an accent??

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  7. As long as you were in construction mode, you should have built a coop mansion.

    Love,
    Janie

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  8. Don't turn electric fence off during the day. The chickens won't go near it anyway. They need all the protection they can get.

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    1. The electric fence is planned just for the immediate village houses... The hens will have the run of the field all day , as they always have had

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  9. Glad you used the bra straps and not the jock strap. You'd have a strange accent then too ;)

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    Replies
    1. Dani, your comment made me smile :)

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    2. Falsetto perhaps

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  10. Oh WOW John …. you have been busy ….. it reminds me of the Nick Parkes of Wallace and Gromit fame, animated film ' Chicken Run ' { although, I know that you won't be making chicken pot pies …. maybe you should start producing your own scotch eggs } I can just see Imelda Staunton, the voice of Bunty the chicken and Mel Gibsons Rocky clucking around there !! XXXX

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    1. That made me smile
      Mind you out of the hens lost last night was one of my favorites a " transsexual" hen called Gloria
      She was a big hybrid with cockerel spurs

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  11. We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall never surrender. John, I knew you would not be down for long. Our version of a badger would be a coyote, they have jumped over a 6ft fence, over the barn roof and removed a few, good layers. I had one hit on the road, and the driver picked her up and took her home for dinner - 2 legged badger.

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    Replies
    1. Now .. If Churchill was here he would have blasted the badger... Protected status or not!

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  12. Good idea. Our electric fence just jolts the cats but keeps them from jumping over it into slavering dog jaws beyond. I hope your nightmare is over, John. xx

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    Replies
    1. Fingers crossed Jo

      Mind you the electric fence is not up and running as yet......
      I will have to save up for the bits I need

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    2. save up? Let's send you the money, if we spread it amongst us, your followers, it hardly costs a thing! I'm serious!

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  13. You have to be smart to outwit nature. Hope this does the trick.

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  14. It must have been so disheartening for you John to see the damage caused by the badger visit. Poor hens. Hopefully the electric fencing will be a deterrent.

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    Replies
    1. I have lost the odd hen to a badger but not 12
      I have lost 12 in three days

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  15. Sorry about your chickens and I hope the new set up helps. I am surprised the smell of the dogs don't keep them at bay. Then again, any deer in my yard can care less that I have a dog so maybe these animals get used to other animals and are no longer afraid.

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    1. I suspect the culprit is a sow with almost grown cubs in tow
      Pall but one of the hens were removed from the field.... I suspect she does the killing and they do the eating

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  16. You won't be beaten John...you will just chin up and get on...xx

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    Replies
    1. Don't let the Hun get you down, what what?

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  17. Sorry that this is happening, life is a bugger at times.
    Could you use the bra as a catapult for stale scotch eggs and winnie poop? double barrelled and all that??
    Keep your chin (or pecker, you choose) up.
    xx

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  18. Good luck with the bra; I have never been able to find one to fit. Tthe only good badger is a dead one. xx

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  19. Them's ain't any ordinary badgers. Them's ISIS badgers. It's an offshoot of OFSTED, you know.

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    Replies
    1. I would love to take a scud missile onto the filed this evening

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  20. glad you have a plan, John! Fingers crossed that this will work.

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  21. I bet you ruffled a few feathers with the move; my girls hated me moving their house & lined up where it used to be !

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    1. I am just getting a coffee before the " where the fuck is the hen house" ? Bun fight commences

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  22. So nice you had good friends to help you, John. Hoping all your hard work keeps that nasty badger away!

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  23. Well God bless you for being so kind hearted toward the badgers and so caring of your hens. Hope the new plan works well for you.

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    Replies
    1. Don't get me wrong Delores, if I could blast the bastard from the face of the earth I would do

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  24. Good for you. Pardon the Americanism, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

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  25. You have great friends. What a nice gesture to help you with all that work! Hope it works out for you!

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  26. Probably shouldn't take him any more dead chickens...
    I love the description of the move with your pals! Sounds like a fun time.

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  27. Glad to hear this news....give the damn things an electrical shock!

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  28. So sorry to read about the hens John. I hope the new defences work.

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  29. Well you are a man with Bosoms after alll... xoxo

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  30. Electric Fence Orchestra meets The Bonzo Dog Poo Pa Band! Sorry, my brain's mush - too much ogling at high,tight and pert bottoms and crushable thighs running up and down a grassy pitch!G'night John-boy!x

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  31. Heart wrenching stuff... I cannnot imagine for a second how you feel. So awful.... Some prat will say "its only a ..............." or "they had a good innings" or some other trite bollocks.... Bra straps are there to pull up and so are knicker elastics ... pull em all up! crack on and I hope your plan of defence works x

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  32. Very impressed by all the hard work, John! A bra big enough to cover your Bosoms would have pretty sturdy straps, so I'd expect a good tug to produce impressive results.

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  33. I hope the bra straps you pulled yourself up with weren't the grey ones featured in a previous post. ( I suspect that they would be too tired to do a lot of work.)
    And good luck. I hope the badger has been foiled.

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  34. have you seen the video with the girl putting her bare bum on an electric fence? theres a LOT of faffing about it it is very boring to start but well worth the wait!!!!

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  35. So sorry to hear about your chooks John, heartbreaking to lose feathered family ones, especially as most I guess were ones you gave homes to. I had two large standard poodles come onto my property and slay all my chooks bar 2. The poor old rooster tried his hardest to protect his girls and paid with his life, the poodles were pecked and spurred to shit but once they tasted blood..... Hopefully the impending electric fence does the trick and the remaining flock get used to their new location without too much sulking.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  36. Is it now the Ukranian Hamlet John?

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