Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Bemoaning Letterboxes


Hopefully, very soon, all of the Community Council news will be placed on line and available to all. In the interim, we thought it prudent that the council make a bit of a PR effort and so drafted a brief newsletter for Trelawnyd and it's sister village of Gwaenysgor.
I volunteered to deliver the Trelawnyd newsletters.
Yesterday I completed almost three quarters of the task, and I must say, that after two hours of jamming my hands through a couple of hundred letter boxes, I now have a healthy respect for the hidden dangers faced by the average postman.
The nemesis of the modern day postie must be this new fad for PVC doors.
Gone have those swinging metal letter boxes of old. You remember the ones I mean, wide open slots you could slip a large bundle of second post letters through with a satisfying PLOP!
Now we have menacing spring loaded metal gin traps which are guarded by stiff nylon draught excluder bristles. Pushing a flyer through these objects of torture can be more difficult than doing a gynaecological examination on an irritable pig !
By the time I had slogged all the way up High Street, I was feeling somewhat fed up with the whole operation..... Thank goodness the last house on the hill didn't seem to have a finger crunching post box at all.......I had to jam their newsletter through the bloody cat flap.

26 comments:

  1. I find this John, even when I deliver local Christmas cards - it is a nightmare.

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  2. that flyer looks like it came straight from a harry potter movie!

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    1. It's a pity they can't get owls to deliver it!

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  3. I concur with your comments on letter boxes from memories of having delivered newspapers as a boy. Once I had one of my gloves removed by a dog as I pushed a wedge of newsprint all the way through the box (as I had been instructed to do on rainy days). The householder was quite irate with me when I rang the bell to ask for the return of the glove!

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  4. Somehow my mind lingers on that poor pig... even hogs need a little foreplay, John.
    Els from Amsterdam

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  5. Around here, we have mailboxes at the end of the driveways. Folks plant flowers around them, and the mail people get stung by bees. If they have to deliver to the front door, they get bitten by dogs.

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  6. Could you use tongs to place the letters in the box? I use tongs to transfer my delicious stinging nettles from my forager's bag to the pot. It's less "ouchy" than doing it by hand.

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  7. Did you deliver to the house where the dog attacked you?
    Jane x

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  8. Pussy boi. We delivered a newsletter to 128 apartments over 22 levels.

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  9. Our postman just opens the porch door and leaves any letters and parcels in there. I feel your pain, though. I had a paper round when I was 16 and hated every second of it.

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  10. I used to deliver our local newsletter (before I moved) and it was the doors with letter boxes right down the bottom that got me....ooooh me back!

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  11. I'm trying to imagine how any newsletter would be delivered, except hand to hand. The United States Postal Service allows nothing but franked mail in their box; the delivery person for any newspaper would yank non authorized flyers from their box and put them on the ground. If anyone succeeded in covering a neighborhood using mail or paper boxes, some spoilsport homeowner would report them by the end of two blocks. I can only think of those slender plastic newspaper bags with round holes that hang over doorknobs. Or, hand to hand. The last seems much more purposeful.

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  12. Well done Pat, where's the black and white cat?

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  13. A flame thrower aimed at the 'letter box' should widen it a bit.

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  14. If I want to collect my mail, I have to drive 100kms into the city and ask for it at the Central Post Office. Now that you remind me, I haven't done that for over two years. Despite their claims of door to door service worldwide, not even DHL will deliver to me, I have to collect packages from their city office.

    Unlike UK, owners of properties in most civilised countries have post boxes accessible from the road at the entrance so there is no need for the Postie to enter the property. Makes the Postie's job so much easier and safer and at Christmas, we could leave his Christmas Box in it so even if we were out, he would receive it. Sadly, I suspect that if such a system became widespread in UK, the Identety Thieves would cotton on in no time and follow the Postie to 're-collect' the mail.

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  15. Don't start me off on PVC - the ruin of many a lovely house. Also true of modern wooden doors......a fanlight should be ABOVE the door, not IN it!!! ARGHHHHH! Rant over - sorry John. I hope your fingers have recovered now. x

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  16. Unfortunately the vicious draught excluding bristles on our front door still don't keep out all that irritating junk mail for pizza companies, guttering firms, landscapers etc.

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  17. We have our letterbox at the end of the driveway. I don't plant flowers around it, although a few spiders are known to take up residence inside the box now and again.

    I left my Christmas box for the maillady (really it was just a plate with some baked goods and a Christmas card) but it was never picked up. I noticed that another mailman took over the route for awhile, so i wasn't sure if he were instructed to ignore such goodies (cue paranoia and poison food here). I later talked to my usual maillady to find out that yes, there had been a bit of a change-up as someone got sick and they had to take over his route as well for a bit. She was sorry to hear her replacement hadn't picked up the goodies, but explained sometimes neighbours leave them for other neighbours in the letterbox (which is technically illegal), and he thought it was from a neighbour meant for me rather than from me to the mail folks.

    She said she would let him know, and i told her this season i'd address the envelope "For my mail carriers" and attach it to the plate, so there would be no misunderstanding.

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  18. Our postbox is at the end of the driveway, a large brick column of a structure, with a Clematis vine covering the bricks.
    It's supposed to be illegal for anyone other than the postman to open the postbox, so I've noticed that flyers, Avon books, and other announcements, are delivered inside a plastic zippy bag usually containing a large stone, placed ontop of the column, so the wind doesn't carry them away.
    Quite inventive I thought :)
    ~Jo

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  19. Having delivered hundreds of flyers for the Labour Party I am well-acquainted with the hazards of being a mailman - including huge dogs that shake the very door jambs as they threaten to burst out and remove your vital organs in orgies of canine bloodlust - never mind what the owners might say, "Oh he'll not hurt you! His bark is bigger than his bite!" Bollix! Was Tony Blair really worth that heinous peril?

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  20. I hope, John, that you thought of delivering the letters the right way. "Even letters can cause problems, as I was remarking to our new postman - the one who routinely fails to deliver Sheridan's letters. He seems to see nothing wrong in mixing up in his sack all the letters for everybody in the Avenue, including those awful Barker-Finches at number 23." And if you complain about letterboxes, it might happen that Hyacinth will "struck your name off her list of recipients of Christmas boxes. There can be no risk in doing this as the standard of service cannot get worse."

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  21. And now there's an informed cat reading your newsletter, or perhaps a 'catalogue'.....

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  22. Hahaha. You do persevere, John.
    Happy Wednesday to you!

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  23. So does this mean you are not changing careers in midstream?

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  24. Here everyone has a mailbox of some size or description on or very near their house. When my daughter was doing a paper route, we noticed that the nicest houses had the eeniest boxes. And paid the least in tips, too. Perhaps that's how they got rich ... Anyway, hope the cat didn't die of fright when he went through the cat flap after your visit!

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  25. Gauntlets, that's what you need. Of the sort that people used to wear when riding motor scooters in the early 60s. (The period, not their age) My dad used to swear by them when cleaning out the hutch of our psychotic rabbit.

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