Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Ducklings and garlic flavoured dog farts


The ducklings of hysterical runner ducks exhibit the typical panicky traits of their mothers almost as soon as they are born. Immediately as the shed door is opened the two older and more robust babies leg it to the farthest point of their run screaming loudly for help. This in turn brings the dogs galloping out of the house in the hopeful prospect of duckling eating...thus the pattern of behaviour we will have to get used to until the youngsters can be transferred to their proper run on the field, is set hard and fast
Screaming ducklings and over excited dogs.
That's the way it's going to be
A third and final duckling has just hatched late in the incubator on the kitchen top , resulting in some sustained dog jumping and hyperventilation at its constant " peep,peep......peeping"...... The whole kitchen now  smells strangely  of garlic..... As the terriers of Trelawnyd fart merrily away in their excitements ......my fault me think......I treated them all to some cheap garlic sausage when I bought my scotch eggs for tea.....
We all ate our treats in the supermarket car park before coming home
Screaming duckings , garlic farting hysterical dogs ....a slightly surreal night to be sure


41 comments:

  1. So 3 ducklings now. Great. By the way, I didn't know dogs fart. I once saw a dog sneeze, but never fart.

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    1. You haven't lived KK

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    2. Didn't know dogs farted???? The very best reason for even owning a dog is blaming him for your own flatulence!

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    3. Dogs FART with the regularity of the QUEEN MARY's hooter

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    4. Wow, KK has lived a sheltered life, and obviously, he's never owned a boxer.

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  2. OMG !
    Scotched eggs, garlic sausage and dog farts !
    But tell me why you wanted more of the hysterical runner ducks ?
    Thanks for the laugh just back from the doctors and needed a giggle.

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. A lady down the lane wants to buy some for her small holding parsnip x

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  3. That photograph is kinda scary. When Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar farts, it startles the heck out of her!

    I'm going now....

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  4. What more could a man ask for!!!

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  5. garlic farts, scotch eggs and screaming baby ducks...heaven!!!

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    Replies
    1. You are as mad as I am jaz x

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  6. Of the many dog farts I've had to put up with in my time, I think garlic ones would be a welcome relief (for all concerned)

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  7. I'm with Nota Bene above, my darling doggie woggie (ahem) puts out the most amazing dog fume whilst snoring softly by my side as I genteelly crochet and watch Extreme Forensics.
    I dursent give him any human food for fear of extinction (mine). If he steals the cat food, then it's fish all night. yum.
    My Grandmama would be horrified - dog on the sofa, not Extreme Forensics, larf.

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  8. No dogs or geese in our house, just me and my husband farting around.

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  9. never a dull moment at your house, eh what? :)

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    Replies
    1. Well you think this is overly exciting blog entry.. You should get out more
      ( joke) xxx

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  10. Surreal....are you serious? This sounds totally normal in your household!

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    Replies
    1. Much better than ducking flavored dog farts by the way....

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    2. I have been. There too xxx

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  11. Ah, trying to ease your guilt by including the dogs in your sinning--it has only backfired on you, hasn't it!?

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    Replies
    1. Oooooooooohhhhh

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    2. Get. Yer blog updated xxxx

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  12. Heaven, that's where you are.

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  13. Oh poor Chris
    Cute ducklings though..

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  14. Hahahahaha!!!!!!
    Never a dull moment there, for sure, John. ♥

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  15. Does your life always operate on the edge of mayhem?

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  16. Just another day in the life of an Earl...

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  17. We have had a cat whose farts could strip paint, and certainly made my eyes water. Garlic farts would be an improvement I think.

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  18. Noisome farts and noisy ducklings... Sounds like this place at the moment. x

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  19. Regarding your diet, may I be so bold as to inform you that other foodstuffs are available in British supermarkets apart from scotch eggs! Continuous consumption of scotch eggs may result in certain vitamin deficiencies. Try some scotch broth, scotch pancakes, butterscotch pudding or scotch flavoured stews instead and then go into the lane in your gym shorts to burn off some calories playing hopscotch.

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  20. Does it need me to tell you John that you seem to be exising mainly on Scotch eggs and that over consumption of same will eventually lead to you looking like one.

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  21. http://www.zazzle.co.uk/scotch_egg_t_shirts-235271139702867893

    See above for Scotch egg T-shirt.

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  22. Sounds like a normal day Chez John Gray's.

    And fancy not knowing that dogs fart ..... my Pug snores like a ships fog horn and farts like a trooper, and yes, my Lovely Hubby blames all his on her too. I never really know who to blame for the cloud of gas that hovers five foot off the ground in the living room after tea!!

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  23. Garlic "flavored" dog farts? Do we dare ask how you know?

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  24. oh John, I do believe your gift for descriptive narrative far excels Mr. Dickens :D

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