Sunday, 16 December 2012

Fiction becomes a Reality & 76 for Winter

The animal population at Bwthyn-y-Llan has now plateaued at 76 souls.
The dreadfully wet year has seen off the ill, the old and the guinea fowl and the winter, I am sure will have it's effects on some of the more vulnerable of characters on the field.
But for now, things are static...
...for now.......
The six remaining Crackhead Whores (remember them?) have morphed quite nicely into the general population and have feathered up and put on weight .
I think I need to give them a different nickname now, as their sleek new plumage now belies their old somewhat unfortunate original title. Having said this the "useless little buggers" (Now referred to as the ULB'S) , will not have their name changed, as although they too have put on weight and stature, they remain useless little scraps of cheeping.that are no use or ornament to someone who needs to sell a few eggs to needy neighbours
The ULBs
Thank God the ULB's have their own protected run. Ten minutes alone on the field and these tiny little fellas would be mincemeat.
The geese will face the winter weather with alacrity as will the more robust ducks. Only the hysterical Runners will need a few extra rations to see them through. They have not got an ounce of body fat on them.
It's like having 5 Kate Moss look-a-likes tottering around the place.
Apart from the "sheltered poultry", such as the blind Cogburn which have to be housed 24/7 for their own safety, the rest of the hens will have to like the bad weather or lump it.

The Blind Cogburn in his wonderful winter colours
 I have organised a few bales of haylage for the sheep, if we are hit hard with snow, but I suspect being highland sheep, Sylvia and Irene will be the best prepared of all the animals for a harsh winter.
Let's see how many of the 76 make it to spring..

I am typing this whilst listening to Kirsty Young interviewing Sister
Wendy Beckett on Desert Island Discs....
I have not smiled as much for ages
In this bloody awful week where bad news has depressed us all...everyone should listen to this just the once
Sister Wendy or could it be Audrey Hepburn?
ps
This card tickled me today when it arrived. It was from Joyce ( the retired midwife from the village) who I always refer to as "Mrs Trellis from North Wales"
To those that don't know, Mrs Trellis is a silent "character" from the long standing radio quiz show
Wikipedia states:
"A regular feature on the programme, preceding the game Mornington Crescent, is a fictional letters section which begins with the chairman's comments ("I notice from the sheer weight of this week's postbag, we've received a little over no letters" and "I see from the number of letters raining down on us this week that the Scrabble factory has exploded again"). The invariably single letter each week is from "A Mrs Trellis of North Wales", whose incoherent letters usually mistake the chairman for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality. "Dear Libby" (she writes), "why oh why ... very nearly spells YOYO", or "Dear Mr Titchmarsh, never let them tell you that size isn't important. My aunt told me that, but then all my new wallpaper fell off."

Obviously Joyce knows that I refer to her as the famous "Mrs Trellis"
so much so, she is now signing her Christmas Cards accordingly!

34 comments:

  1. Everytime I think I have too many ducks and chickens, I think of you... how many roosters do you have now?

    Hope all 76 make it through the winter! My feathered fartlets have the run of the lower barn when it's too cold to go outside. I discovered last year that Muscovy ducks aren't bright enough to come in when it's too cold, so a couple of them got some frostbite on the old carbuncles before I figured this out. This year I just won't let them out if it's below about -5C.

    Hope winter treats you well, and in case I forget, Merry Christmas and happy New Year. Hope the holidays are all you want them to be!

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    1. I might add that the chickens do indeed have the sense not to go out when it's too cold!

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  2. Wee! Love Sister Wendy! hee hee! Dear John, my lady says everyone needs a few Useless Little Buggers around. I...er...think that all of us pets here on her farm ARE ULBs because we don't really contribute anything. What lady? Oh... My lady says we contribute love and affection and amusement to her life (not to mention work and the spending of all of her money). xoxoxo

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  3. Ahh bless. I'm very fond of your ULB's, They remind me of my much loved and mush loved Pekin's who used to live in the house more than outside

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  4. The Blind Rooster Cogburn is one handsome fella!

    I still refuse to count, but I think the number of souls here tops out over 100 now. We lose the occasional chicken to old age but it has been fairly static h ere except for the ducks of course.

    I think you are right about the sheep; our Shetlands seem to enjoy the foul weather and go outside to face the raging weather with glee...after a snowstorm they look like mere lumps of snow laying in the barnyard Next to the barn....

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  5. I feel confident that the 76 will have the best care available.
    Radio 4 feels like a box full of friends who pop in out of the house throughout the day from TODAY 'til FRONT ROW with gaps it is so good I know where the ON/OFF is. I did not hear D I D this morn but will do sounds like a good one.

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    1. Do we really need Front Row 6 days a week when we have a film critic the calibre of John in our very midst?

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  6. I love the ULB's and Cogburn. They are part of the reason I visit here! I hope that they all make it through winter.

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  7. Blind Cogburn is one colorful and handsome dude! Much love and warmth to them all this Winter! A horrible week indeed...hold your loved ones near and always, always tell them you love them each time you part.

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  8. I know the ULB's will make it through the season with much food, love, and devotion from their owner.

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  9. I was once blessed by Sister Wendy - lovely woman!

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  10. Methinks the LBs have cheeped their way into your heart too, John.
    Come on, admit it.
    (I refuse to add the 'U').

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  11. Good luck this winter, John. It is pouring down rain here right now.
    Hope you have a wonderful week, too! ♥

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  12. Cogburn's feathers are impressive. If he ever goes to blind cock heaven, you should set about turning his feathers into colourful hooks for fly fishermen. It would be a suitable memorial.

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  13. Cogburn's colours are gorgeous. Sister Wendy - mad nun maybe, but oh, what a smile! Impossible not to smile back - even to a photograph!

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  14. We need photos of ALL the critters... dying to see what the Crackhead Whores look like now. And the hysterical runners. More photos! More photos!

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  15. I listen to archived Desert Island Discs (Radio 4Xtra) when I'm doing the ironing...love it.
    Jane x

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  16. I missed Sister Wendy. I suppose I'd better try and listen to it online....thanks for the tip. You should frame that Mrs Trellis signature!

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  17. The ULB's are coming on a treat. February's when they usually start to lay so you might have to call them NULB's after all. I think Sister Wendy is fantastic too.

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  18. Sister Wendy puts me into a nice trance.

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  19. I love Sister Wendy. Through one of her earlier TV programmes, she revived, briefly, my student addiction to postcards of great works of art. But having viewed many of these great works in situ for myself, I at last realised that most pcs are shockingly badly reproduced. Yes that's you at the V&A etc - how shameful. As pcs were the foremost medium of Sister Wendy's art education, I'm amazed how truly knowledgable she really became.

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    1. I adored her interview
      she had absolutely no idea just how naturally funny she is

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  20. fingers, toes and everything else crossed there are no casualty's over winter.

    Gill

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  21. I just found your blog last night and instantly joined!! I'm dying of laughter....the blog of a farmer in Wales who refers to his poultry as "crackhead whores"...I'm in heaven!! :)

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    1. BB
      WHY THANK YOU!
      ( you need to get out more!)
      xxx

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  22. How delightfully wonderful to live in your village.

    I miss the days of knowing all your neighbors and driving around to share fresh produce or fresh bread from the oven.

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  23. Brilliant heart-warming post. Megathanks.

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  24. RIP Humph; Long live Mrs Trellis.

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  25. In the small amount of snow we had one year, my girls' footprints look like a little dinosaur had visited !

    Lovely to hear about your feathered & woolly friends.

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  26. You can call the Crackhead Whores the RCWs or Recovering/Recovered Crackhead Whores. Pictures please, so we can ooh and aah over how lovely they look now. Rooster's colours are stunning.

    I haven't thought of Sister Wendy in ages. I saw an art programme or two of hers on public tv here, and liked her instantly.

    I love how Mrs Trellis signed her card.

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  27. That's a little harsh to refer to them as ULBs; they may not be useful but they are pretty.

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