Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Saint Christopher

The "hen in the airing cupboard" incident went by without so much as the raising of the famous "Roger Moore" eyebrow or the rolling of the infamous Captain Mainwaring eyeballs.
This slightly wrong footed me, as I was prepared to fight the little warren's corner,for she had been as good as gold wrapped up in a dog blanket behind the duvets and pillowcases, but Chris merely nodded his head and sighed with that "as long as I don't have to see anything" kind of way.
All the warren needed was to warm up. She slept and she kept calm in the cosy darkness of the cupboard and after a couple of hours was ready to return to the waterlogged field.
It is still raining this morning by the way.
A few years ago now, I made the mistake of hatching out 16 Indian runner ducklings without a mother and without a shed!
Strangely Calm, my last load of runner ducklings
All 16 were installed in a large dog crate in the kitchen, which was transformed very quickly from a delightful oasis of fluffy ducklings into a quagmire of shit flinging , needy and incredibly noisy and hysterical monsters.
The pitter patter of tap dancing webbed feet nearly drove poor Chris into the psychiatric version of "shady Pines". and nearly every morning he could be heard bellowing "Shut up you dirty little bastards" as they galloped to and fro in the crate following his every movement as he tried to eat his tea and toast.
Since then, I have tried to keep any  animal infiltrations into the cottage to an absolute minimum.Chris can cope with the dogs as long as they are clean and  does have a soft spot for Albert as long as he does not drag in any rodent no matter what size through the catflap, but in general terms anything else with fur or a beak would not be tolerated,
He's right of course.... the cottage is far too small for any miniature intensive care unit set ups.....I just wonder what could happen if one of the ewes has complications during the birth of a lamb....?
I couldn't see Chris boiling the hot water and fetching the towels as Irene lies prostrate on the kitchen table with her hooves up in stirrups....
Bless..... he does put up with a lot.

Anyhow the warren survived to fight another day, ( unlike the Pansy-Potterish Sarah Jane who was unfortunately voted off
The Great British Bake Off last night.) and hopefully the tropical storm which has battered North Wales and Northern England  is now petering itself out to nothing.

Sarah Jane....a podgy star in the making
I am off now to drop some more Harvest Festival food off at the Church now....Trelawnyd collects boxes full from it's small congregation...all of which will be taken to the homeless shelter in Rhyl after the harvest services are all finished. It's another small, unsung positive community gesture which the majority of people in the village are unaware of ....

41 comments:

  1. Sounds like you might be washed away if it continues!

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  2. Sarah Jane was pretty rubbish last night, but she just couldn't see it could she?

    "he just said the dough was raw and nothing about the lovely colour on the outside!"

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  3. EARL - You mentioned " the homeless shelter IN Rhyl" when I think you meant OF Rhyl. To solve the occasional tensions with Chris over your animal friends, perhaps you and your chums should live in a small caravan on the field - giving Chris exclusive use of the cottage - though you would be allowed back in for meals and your weekly shower.

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  4. Does your church welcome tins of beans amongst the marrows and potatoes? I've always found this to be an insult to the Pagan festival we all love.

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    1. cro, most of the food "donated" are tins and packets...
      a bit of pragmatism here I think as all of the food is gratefully recieved by the shelter... I dont think anyone would know what to do with a marrow anymore
      I must admit I am always amused by seeing packets of tea and jaffa cakes on the church windowsills

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  5. Now come on, even Margo Ledbetter helped with the pigs. I'm sure Chris would step up. (btw I know that raised eyebrow expression so well. Husband has that habit too).

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  6. Your descriptive powers are just wonderful. I love the picture of Chris trying to eat his tea a toast in peace with those ducklings following his every move -- he really is a dear man!

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  7. it's not the first thing that you expect to see when you open the airing cupboard to get a clean pillowcase now is it.

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  8. Hahaha....yes I can picture the shite flinging! Poor Chris. There is a Harvest Festival Sale at a Church in nearby Owen Sound this October I have been invited to. Is yours a "pot luck" dinner, or sale, John?

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  9. With what goes on in your cottage, it is testiment as to how much Chris loves you ........and, I just knew that there would be a reference to poor old Sarah Jane ! It was her time to go. Who do you want to win Tom ? My favourite is James. XXXX

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    1. jacq
      I have a soft spot for Danny and Cathryn but james is cute

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  10. Ooooops ......I apologise for calling you Tom ..... I've just been reading Tom's latest post ....... so sorry John !!!!!!!

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  11. Laughing and smiling here. John, you are such a lovely writer and your tales of life in your animal-crowded cottage are my favourites.

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  12. There was an American film in 2000 called "Big Eden." It was quite a fairy tale especially given it took place in Montana. Trelawnyd reminds me a bit of that film... only better.

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    1. it is my take of trelawnyd! in reality we are filled with serial killers and trailer trash

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    2. OH, Trelawnyd is in my backyard. Closer than I thought.

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  13. I think Marcia is about to toss her toys out of the cot over the 'goatling'. You think your cottage is small? We are living in 16 square metres and in addition to Alex and I she has to put up with two dogs and now this baby goat that I have to bottle feed every four hours.

    She is muttering dark threats about burning all the furniture in the room when we move to the completed new house.

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  14. I guess you know how far to push Chris before he rebels, so that's a good thing.

    Gill in Canada

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  15. There's a lot of positive energy emanating from your little community...most of it from your cottage. Glad to hear the poor little soul recovered well.

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  16. I think in the case of the ducklings - I would be the one to bring them in, as well as grousing about it. :-) Had 50 baby chicks in my basement once, thought I would go absolutely mad!

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  17. Talking of marrows . . . . . . . . . I love them and do know how to cook them. In earlier times I lived in Bermuda for five years and could not get hold of marrows! When I returned to the UK I had marrow and white sauce every night for supper for about three weeks washed down with a drink of "proper" milk!

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  18. My hubby would only allow ducks in the kitchen if duck sauce was involved.

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  19. Chris once slept by a baby bird , changing it's hot water bottle every hour through the night,so I could get some rest. If you need him, I'll send him over.
    Jane x

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  20. Oh, you never cease to crack me up! Honestly, always brightens an otherwise tedious day.
    Love the image of irene mid childbirth - I mean lamb birth - legs akimbo!
    Genius!

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  21. I once kept a rabbit inside my home for three weeks, my husband thought it was one of the Yorkshire Terriers, as he glanced across the laundry room each day.
    My gran used to make wonderful batches of miniature loaves of Hovis bread for the Harvest Festivals. They were the most popular item in my school harvest festival, the lads would sneak them in their pockets :)
    The floods have my little village closed down today :(
    ~Jo

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  22. Himself is usually very understanding about helping furfriends as we can, though he did draw the line at my having a worm bin for composting. He said most emphatically that he didn't want worms in the house, and i tried to explain that i could keep them down cellar. No soap.

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  23. Yes, your Chris is the true Saint Christopher! Tells me how much he really loves you John. Nice!

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  24. "But Chris, they're so cute!" Love the image of the ewe up in stirrups. Perhaps a Christmas gift of a nice set of surgeon's scrubs and mask might get Chris into the spirit of things.

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  25. Tolerates animals in the house?? Four dogs for goodness sake - the farmer would think that was three too many John. As for ducklings - I went off them years ago - they are so lovely and fluffy for about a week - then they are noisy, dirty, pushy individuals who just create havoc. The only good duck is one stuffed with sage and onion I think.

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  26. Love is patient, love is kind. And so forth. I also think it says love does not count the wrongs. So, I think you're OK to keep the hen in the warming cupboard.

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  27. It sounds to me like your little house ducklings had imprinted on Chris and thought he was their mommy. I hope they survived the rejection!

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  28. Did laugh at Irene with her hooves up in stirrups. I just hope Chris never watched 'Lambing Live'..

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  29. The girl that cuts my hair has a chicken that was injured and she brought the chicken into the house.. Karen makes pots out of clay and she said the chicken stayed in the basement where she had her pottery wheel. She loved to set nearby and watch her make pottery.. This chicken healed quickly with the warm basement and Karen's company.. Good job in bringing this chicken into your house for a warm spot to stay into..just make sure you cleaned up all the evidence that the chicken was in the house.. Chris will never know..
    ta ta for now from Iowa:)

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  30. I think Chris should write a book “Life with John”. Another very funny post, laughed myself into hysterics.

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  31. I bet Chris is quietly proud of your loving care of your flock. Does he have any hobbies / lifestyle choices you have to endure ? ( she says seething with husband home late having gone to get another boat )

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    1. he likes knitting, and Midsommer Murders

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    2. If he likes knitting, then why hasn't he knit you a pair of fetching slippers as your neighbour did? Or at least a scarf you can wear as you brave the elements to see that all your charges are safe.

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  32. Your ponderings about Chris's reaction to a ewe in distress reminds me of the episode of The Good Life when Pinky (or was it Perky?) ran into a bit of trouble giving birth, and good old Margo came along to help. When they asked her to bring some alcohol to help the pig along, she told them she only had cognac, which a harried Tom said would be fine. Then, she asked in all innocence whether she should bring the Remy Martin or the Hine VSOP.

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  33. Haha.

    Goodness. Hope the rain abates for you soon!

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  34. Hens... In the skirting... You can get something from Boots for that!

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    1. julie walters eat you heart out!

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