To whom it may concern,
I am writing to you all to explain away my behaviour when I am out for a walk with my dogs between the hours of 6.45am-7.30 am and 9-00 pm-9.30pm.
You should recognise me as I am :-
-The only guy in the village that walks three dogs together
-I am a bit of a scruffy bastard
You should also remember me, because I am the chap that does not move too swiftly when you approach me in the lane.Please understand that I will make you slow down
I understand that sometimes you will become frustrated that I will hold you up somewhat before I amble to the side of the road to let you pass, but I must tell you here and now that I am not being "difficult" when I do this..... there is some method in my madness.
The reason I keep you all waiting is because of this little chap
His Name is Albert
and he is four years old.
He is a small, difficult-to-see-in-the-dark cat who broke his right hind leg rather badly three years ago and the injury, which as mismanaged by the vet, has left him with a painful and stiff leg, a bad limp and healthy disregard for the local animal health care system.
It has also meant that when he accompanies us on our morning and evening "wee" stops, he sometimes finds it difficult to get out of the way of local drivers who occassionally act a little blasé when they use the lane as a cut through
So when you see me, lumbering in front of you, without a seeming care in the world, I am not being rude when I hold you up, I am , in fact, being a bit of a feline hero by preventing a funny little cat who resembles Sammy Davies Junior, from becoming another road kill statistic.
With Best wishes,
aged 50 ( and a bit)