Friday, 25 May 2012

Adduct or Abduct?


As a nurse I should remember the difference between adduction and abduction
One is the ability to bring a part of your anatomy towards your body's midline, the other is the ability to move it away.....whatever the word, this morning I am having a little trouble "spreading my legs" so to speak.


This inability dovetails quite neatly next to yesterday's blog about feeling "old" and somewhat worn out....sometimes a person just forgets that they are indeed a creaking gate rather than a buxom young thing!


Yesterday afternoon I was standing in the lane talking to Della from Pen-y-cefn Isa farm. The weather was glorious , so it was one of those days that villagers stopped to chat over the garden wall and through the field gate.
As we chatted I heard a call for help and up the lane I sped a neighbour calling frantically from his back garden. I knew his wife had been ill recently and thinking I was every inch the Intensive care nurse, I sprinted up the lane and launched myself up and over the chest high wall which led up a steep bank up behind their house, leaving Della and Chris who had just arrived home from work, standing there somewhat open mouthed


Now I am not known for my physical prowess!
I was always picked second from last for games at school......
Indeed in 1990, when I took part in a charity assault course with a team of nurses, the whole team ( which included a lady of pensionable age) all had to stop to "help " me over the 6 foot wall!
But that's another story
Anyhow, like I said, I am not the body beautiful, but the combination of adrenaline, a strong coffee and foolhardiness gave me a "spurt on" so to speak and I cleared the wall like an Olympic athlete, and rolled somewhat theatrically in the dust in a "Starsky and Hutch" way before bouncing into the garden.


My neighbour's wife had, as it had turned out, taken a bit of a minor tumble and was absolutely fine once I had got her into the house, more than could be said for my 50 year old groins who couldn't quite believe that they had been stretched way beyond their usual limitations so to speak.


This morning I am walking a little like a constipated and delicate old mincing queen...


Has anyone got a remedy for an over stretched gusset?
answers on a postcard please........

46 comments:

  1. Unlucky Wally used Groin Strain Ointment

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  2. A bottle of red wine usually does the job for me.

    Thanks for your comment. You make me giggle which is a rare talent.

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  3. I go to Pilates twice a week, where we adduct and abduct til our eyes water.

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  4. lukewarm bath in this weather should take the weight and strain off it briefly..... getting in and out of the bath though.... that's all down to you!! I like them fancy muscle soak bubble baths like Radian B or something.

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  5. haha. this made me laugh. well done though!

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  6. I actually quite liked the kitty moving thing.

    I never thought you had any trouble 'spreading your legs' so to speak. No pain, no gain - vaulting walls comes at a price if you don't do it every day. I never feel so old as when (on rare occasions) I strain my back. You have to lift patients (I guess) and I have to lift stone, so we both need to be as fit as necessary to do our jobs. Vaulting walls is not part of the job description.

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  7. Hmm,m yes, well, you wouldn't want to use 'Deep Heat' in that area, I suppose...

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  8. Modern work speak Tom
    Nurses DON'T lift any more... we "move and handle"

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  9. Glad to see you aren't acting your age. teehee. We're (finally) up in N.Idaho again. I'm tired. Patrick & I both drove a car up the 1500 miles. It's a lonnnnng trip. Glad to be back here. Phx was getting way too hot for me early on. xx

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  10. Acupuncture in the affected area is the best way forward if you want a lasting solution to your groin strain. Miss Woo Dong based in Kinmel Bay comes highly recommended. Find her in the Yellow Pages.

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  11. Did you tear open your shirt to reveal a Superman suit?

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  12. You need the "Tired Old Ass Soak" from the Vermont Country Store. Tee hee. You are also very much MY HERO! xoxoxo

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  13. thanks for the early morning chuckle......

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  14. The only way with a strained gusset is to have it re-stitched. Why did you vault over the wall? I thought that your more usual method of perambulation was to put one fist in the air and leap upwards!

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  15. Check out Baddha Konasana (Cobbler Pose). Do this every day and you will be astonished at your flexibility.
    Thank goodness your Humour Muscles don't need exercising - they are working just fine.

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  16. You must have looked like Superman himself to the poor dear woman who had fallen.

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  17. Sorry, can't help you. I don't remember what to do for that beside trying to do it again and that's probably wrong.

    Eventually you will learn your limits as they shrink down, it's a learning process...

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  18. Where'd you get that old photo of me?
    m.

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  19. I strained my groin on that bloody swim the other week - rest, and pain relieving gel were my only solution

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  20. Sounds to me like you need re-elasticating!

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  21. Lots of gentle stretching and Epsom salts baths. We would like video next time John.

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  22. SIGH.... My Hero.
    Jane x

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  23. Yes, this ties neatly in with my new Rule of Aging: you can still do most of the stuff you used to as a young'n, but every decade the recovery takes longer.

    I don't suppose you've got anyone willing to help you out with a little gusset massage? ;)

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  24. Ha, that'll teach you! You're not a spring chicken any longer. You should leave the dazzling physical feats to Superman or Olympics competitors. Anway, I'm sure the stretched muscles will recover in a few days....

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  25. "ADDuction adds 2 things together, abduction takes 2 things apart - like a child from their family" Yes, I have to say that ditty to myself everytime I chart.
    Move slowly, stretch gently and lots of ibuprofen :-)

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  26. Wow! I have a fear of jumping over things and always have. The power of adrenaline is an amazing thing.

    I suggest a soak in the tub with epsom salts. I also suggest Traumeel®, which is like arnica cream. Wonderful stuff, and doesn't burn. Or a homoepathic dose of arnica would help.

    To keep you more limber and flexible, i'd suggest yoga. I have practiced it, although as of late not as often as i used to or should. I find it a wonderful adjunct to hockey. I most likely will not in my lifetime achieve the full blown "pretzel poses" as i call them, given that i was never very flexible, but i have been able to retain the flexibility i do have and to increase it some.

    Hmmm, that's a rather long response for a post card. Guess i'll have to write small.

    x

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  27. You are definitely a hero. (Watch out for Angostura, she'll know you are vulnerable.)

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  28. Ummm.
    Excuse me.

    YOU'RE the NURSE!

    ;-)

    I suggest lots of rest, surrounded by adoring pets and waited on, hand and foot, by a loved one (preferably Chris!).

    Feel better...

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  29. Thanks all.. I am not too bad! just a little sore..... just courting sympathy!

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  30. "This morning I am walking a little like a constipated and delicate old mincing queen..."

    Oh, get away with you....you're not *old*......

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  31. Keep your knees very close together for a few days as you walk and you should be right as rain.

    A few days gardening has loosened up my muscles no end - perhaps that is a better alternative.

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  32. When you reach my age you damn well give up running, jumping walls and any other super hero activities that would cause one’s body parts to detach from their rightful location.

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  33. Carrying on from yesterday, I truly see seventy is not the new fifty! I do wish you a speedy recovery. Next time maybe run up to the fence and then inquire.

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  34. Would one of my antique corsets suffice John?
    Jo xx

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  35. I have linked to your blog through Two Men and A little Farm. Since then I have decided to create my own blog. I do love yours, even looked at land in your little village. Interesting.

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  36. gee and I'm out of postcards!

    well you were right to try...it could have been something far more serious! however using muscles that haven't been used in a long time (if ever) is always a bit of a problem. warm showers or baths certainly couldn't hurt...you'll have to rely on your more knowledgeable friends for better advice than that!

    I was never a very sporty kid either...always chosen last for softball, baseball or hardball! or any other game that required a team to play! if at home, I was more likely hiding in a corner somewhere READING!

    just remember no more "super man" moves for a while!

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  37. I ditto `Megan Blogs` comments.....Trameel cream and pills really work!

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  38. John --- I love you! I wish we had a video of the leaps and bounds; I bet you wish there was a video of it as well!! Sometimes, we can surprise ourselves! I wonder if I am still capable of running!? Haven't had to run in a very long time! We should all have a neighbor like yourself!

    Lana

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  39. Sympathy is spades, John. And I recommend a hot bath with epsom salts and a stiff gin and tonic.

    Well done, you!

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  40. Oooh, ouch! Sympathy here and another recommendation for hot bath and epsom salts. As for yoga and Jacqueline's comment, I Googled cobbler pose and needed 2 aspirin and a sit down. My eyes are still watering.

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  41. Living in a body which is as supple as a brick I am in awe. Wonderful gesture you made. Glad she was not hurt - which of you do you think will be feeling more pain today?

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  42. I think you need to start practising yoga! :)

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  43. I think I have a hint of how you must be feeling - a memory of riding a bike for the first time in 20 years. And we rode for 2-3 hours around Jekyll Island in Georgia (US Georgia) on rented bikes!

    Nancy in Iowa

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