Covent Garden

 The West End was rammed with people. 

I walked up from Euston just in time for a late lunch of lamb chops and black daal at Dishoom in StMartins Lane,  The Covent Garden Christmas Tree was suitably festive and I sat and people watched until it was time for the theatre .

The Ocean At The End Of The Lane was an interesting choice of mine as I picked it without knowing nothing of the production.

It’s a fantasy/drama about a man who after attending his father’s funeral visits his half forgotten childhood. A childhood full of sadness, grief, loss and disappointment and of fabulous witches, monsters, life long friendship and magical powers.

It’s a surreal and rather beautiful production full of visual tricks, superb puppetry  and a clever lead performance by James Bamford who captures all of the angst, confusion and pain of a twelve year old boy  who is hiding behind his fantasy pre teen, bookish safety net. Not wanting to process  what real life actually is.

I loved it

After the theatre, I walked the streets for a while.

Down to the National Portrait Gallery, then up over through Leicester Square, Soho and  Chinatown 

I bought a box of fresh Noodles from Wok & Go and ate them as I walked with cheap chopsticks bummed from the server.

The streets were filled with couples and groups of theatre goers and drunks

But it was nice to be a part of it all

I’m a bit nervous about tomorrow 

I haven’t seen my “ nephew” for over three years 

I hope he still likes me 

He was a child when we last saw each other 

Heyho

London Bound

 

There is a chill in the air this morning.

Winter is approaching and the dying ash trees in the graveyard are stark against the cold marble sky in the west. Ash die back has decimated the trees nearby and those around the Church have been marked with yellow paint spots by the council and are awaiting their sad executions.

It was dark when I returned home last night, so I didn’t notice that my sister had titivated the garden which now looks clean and tidy and ready for the winter. 

She had planted pansies in the flower beds and left a colander on my garden table filled with alpines

I’m going down to London today and the quiet coldness of the village feels a million miles away from the lights and bustle of Covent Garden . 

I’m staying in Z Hotel again 

I need to pick my train but I need my coffee first.

Our tickets for Comic Con are not until tomorrow but as Leo wanted an early start and has only got to travel from Kent, I have arranged to go down today so that I can meet him from the station.

A night free in London will be filled by a trip to The Duke Of York’s Theatre to see The Ocean At The End Of The Lane.

My nephew has Aspergers and I think it’s his first time travelling to town on his own, so it’s kind of a big deal. His mom emailed me yesterday to check if I had arranged to meet him and I assured her I had.

It’s strange to think that the last time we were in London together he was a little boy.

Dorothy is off to my sister’s shortly and Mary to Trendy Carol’s 

Enough time for another coffee me thinks

Sheldon

 There was a plastic bag tied to my doorknob when I finally got home after work  tonight 

I knew by the strangely wrapped gifts inside that Mrs Trellis was on one

A Mars bar surrounded by kitchen roll, 

A homemade 2022 calendar with a photo of Mount Kilimanjaro on the front.

A packet of children’s crayons ( opened )

And a pink, slightly balding fabric shrimp with a label saying “His name is Sheldon, I found him at a rummage sale at Glan Clwyd Hospital”

Hey ho

Poor Gorgeous Dave

 

I don’t know exactly what Gorgeous Dave and I were expecting from Nigella Lawson but her one woman let us both down. 

No doubt he was hoping for a pussy galore-esque Nigella  in a tight fitting black polo neck ,playfully fingering an irritating gravy stain on her bosom with a red nailed index finger.

I was hoping for a playfully funny story teller.

We both were a little disappointed 

She kept everything , verbose, food orientated and meandering 

Lacking the obvious tight direction she has on tv and the close seductive relationship with the cameraman 

Dave and I had a nice chat but that was on the way home 

4 pm

It’s four pm

How did that happen?

What have I done today?

I slept late, I know that much, and I’ve shopped for lunch tomorrow and for dog food.

I’ve booked a pottery lesson for next Wednesday evening and for the cinema on Thursday followed by an on line evening zoom Night with Patricia Cornwall on Fane 

Next week I’m working more hours than I should

I’ve had a bath and cooked Korean noodles for lunch tomorrow and walked the dogs 

I downloaded my covid pass, bought some Christmas gifts on line and “talked” to my friend Ben who was drinking beer on his Korean balcony in Seoul .

Autumn days just fly by. 

It’s almost dark and from my office window the village lights are just starting to twinkle  through the Church yard trees

It’s 4 pm …….how did that happen?

Soup spoons

Bit of a crappy day at work 

Came home and no post in the box by the front door ( I was expecting some old essays to be posted back to me) 

Disappointed they were not there.

I sat with my hoodie on as tge cottage warmed up, with the dogs on my knee

A neighbour brought around a parcel at 9 pm 

It had been left by the postman 

Four beautifully home made ceramic soup spoons, which I had ordered an age ago now

I was too tired to make soup to try them out 

So ate some tinned low fat custard

Using each spoon in turn to try each one out 

Eaten from the tin 

Ian Parry Scholarship - 30th Anniversary

Ian Parry was a good friend of mine. 

We grew up in Prestatyn 

He took this photo of Rol and I ( yes the one from a few blogs ago) in the 1980s

A photo I have always treasured 

He shared so much of my salad days in North Wales and I miss him still

I have many of his salad day photographs

Me and my sister Janet joking together

Me and my nia at the cinema 

My grandmother laughing

Kelly Ann, a friends baby

Back To Work

 Back to work today, so it’s bucket of coffee time at 6.20 am and I’ve packed my antibiotics for the day.

I’m not doing anything of note until Thursday when Gorgeous Dave  and I are off to see An Evening With Nigella Lawson. He has been given clear instructions not to get an erection when she describes her cooking with her usual sexual sub references.

Saturday I’m going to London again, this time to meet my nephew for a day at comic con

He’s warmed me that he’s dressing up as what looks like a red superhero

Gawd help me.

For the first time since I started work at the Hospice, I have Christmas Day off.

The family in its entirety have planned to meet up at my sister’s home on the day

There will at least sixteen of us all told.

What fun

Hey ho

A Grey Day

I met my friend Polly for lunch at Bryn Williams https://portheirias.com/.

A grey day 

I need a shave

 

Another Time/ Another Country

Rol and I, at another time, in another country

 When I was 20 I sort of fell in love with my best friend Rol

I didn’t understand the feeling, for sure.

I didn’t even understand I was Gay at the time

But in that clumsy, awkward, oblivious ,adolescent way…

I fell in love.

That secret, unrequited sort of love with a six foot, extrovert  rugby playing straight bloke who was destined for university, marriage and fatherhood in The Midlands

Our friendship waned after he went to Oxford and University  and I went nursing, and like many heterosexual men, he never really kept in touch although over the last forty years our paths have crossed at odd opportunities and situations and I was always aware of his general news as my friendship with his younger sister Nia has continued even after she emigrated to Australia. 

Our “parting” wasn’t a tragic separation, there was too much going on, for that to be the case, but it hurt a little at the time…. the way only things hurt when you are a gauche, immature , young man who had no real idea of who and what he was……

Last week Rol messaged me through social media and asked to meet. 

I was intrigued and happy to do so and this morning we met up at y shed.over coffee.

A brummie accented grandad and an almost 60 year old gay divorcee with a mild hangover

It was strange as we had never sat down together, alone and on a 1 to 1 for almost four decades but the years melted away as we chatted  and caught up. For me, it wasn’t a return to those uncooked unrequited  Love days…how could it have been ?  we both are very different people now , but it was a nostalgic and gentle nod to a friendship which was important to both of us in a country and a time so different from today. 

Now, the reason for the reunion turned out to be a serious health scare during lockdown . 

A reminder that people that matter and who mattered need to be touched base with.

No apologies for not keeping in touch for all those years

There is no need for apologies 

And we were both moved to tears by the catch up and the feelings that we shared.

We hugged each other firmly as we said our goodbyes.

Hugged for the good past times and the memories

Hugged for the shared uncertainties of approaching our sixties

And hugged for the fact we are still here ………..

And as we hugged Rol kissed me gently on the cheek 

A gesture that moved me greatly.

Normality

Just having three guests 

Fills the cottage

I haven’t had more than one visitor here for a year and a half

and having serious, funny, raucous, and important conversations over dinner and wine 

feeds your soul and makes things seem so much nicer than they did before

 

Bum Marks

 I’ve just given the cottage a once over

The bathroom is spruced and the kitchen and living room are immaculate 

I’ve got friends coming around for supper. 

The first time I’ve had friends around since before lockdown 

On the hall wall there is a scuff mark

One day I will paint over it but not yet.

I hope my guests don’t think I’m a slob

But to be honest I don’t care if they do.

The scuff mark is of William’s bum

He loved to rub it on the wall and did so until he squealed in painful pleasure

The marks are  layers of Welsh terrier hair oil

Left with much delight and satisfaction over several years

One day, I will paint over them

But not yet

William, a few weeks before he died

Friday Night

Terms of Endearment

Do you know someone who has the gift of the gab?

Someone who is clever in communicating?

Someone articulate with words?

But the words ring insincere, self serving and false when spoken?

I’ve been contacted by two such people in two days 

After the first I was minimal in my replies, but the conversation and my lack of chutzpah  bugged me and I kept  thinking of a film scene that I couldn’t quite remember clearly enough

I kept musing about of Meryl Streep sort pulling a face

Before the second conversation I remembered the film scene which was haunting me

I was in Sainsbury’s by the udon noodles, and I said out loud Shirley MacLaine! When I recalled the scene  properly .

In 1983 James L Brooks made Terms of Endearment. For those few that may not have seen it, it is a comedy/drama Autumnal love story between eccentric neighbours , the middle aged  Aurora and Garrett,  (Shirley MacLaine & Jack Nickleson )as well being a study of mother/ daughter love between MacLaine’s character Aurora and her feisty daughter Emma played by Debra Winger.

In one pivotal scene the cowardly  Garrett finishes his budding relationship with Aurora and does so with all the right words, “ sincere” reflections and articulations but  the humiliated Aurora, who sees through his insincerity, just sits there and vomits out a reply of “ Blah, Blah,Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah , Blah ………Blah.

” 

It’s a clever play by Brooks who lets the scene speak for itself…I’m sure that last Blah was improvised

My second unsatisfactory  conversation was today. It was with Someone who just wanted something from me  A shallow request 

I replied with an equivalent of Endearment’s  Blah Blah BLAH 

Not Meryl today , but with Shirley’s Aurora , totally on board.

Hey ho

A Fart At The Doctors

I just bloody knew that I needed a longer dose of antibiotics,

So why didn’t I say anything on Monday ?

Strange that nurses who act as advocates for their patients cannot quite be advocates for themselves 

Sick of feeling ill I had a mini tantrum at the doctor’s surgery this morning 

I was tired after night shift which galvanised me.

And a little sick of being let down by people

Within a minute of said tantrum, I had sorted longer term antibiotics, a blood test , other investigations and a review date.

I was a force to be challenged 

I was magnificent , even with a kidney infection, 

I was a Chubby Meryl Streep pre Oscar

 

I was so het up and pumped that when I asked the receptionist for some specimen bottles 

I farted very loudly with the stress of it all 

The receptionist had the good grace to blush but to say nothing

I burst out laughing 

The first time this week

I’m trying hard to be light x

Chatsworth

 

It’s time I return to one of my favourite places 

Chatsworth House in Derbyshire

I was only thinking the other day about when I last visited this grand old house and it must be almost sixteen years ago now.

When I lived in Sheffield, only 14 miles away to the North East, Chatsworth was a favourite destination on a weekend, whether it was for an amble through the house and gardens. A visit to the famous shop, which was located in the old shire horse stables out on the estate, or just to walk by the river below the garden terraces.

In a fit of nostalgia I’ve arranged to meet an old friend from Sheffield there in December 

It’s a four hour round trip for me , but it will be worth going even if it is for just the day 

To say hello again to The Veiled Vestal by Monti will be a highlight

It will be like saying “So you’re here again” to an old friend.

Off sick again

Blood tests and investigations 

More antibiotics

Hey ho

Food

 I’m back on nights until Saturday morning.

Saturday night I’m having a dinner party

After writing those words, I’ve realised just how old fashioned I am

Apparently people don’t “ do” dinner parties anymore .

They just do food.

Chic Eleanor is one guest and our friends Sara & Pask are the others. Pask is a colourful Italian doctor who is a real natural foodie, which raises the stress of what food to pick somewhat, but I’ve made it easy on myself and have kept things simple . Eleanor will bring with her the starters and the others will bring the desert. 

I will be cooking an all-in-on chicken, rice , olive dish from Spain

Last time they all came, Eleanor dropped some red hot french beans into Pask’s lap, causing him to tear off his trousers, ones that needed sponging down, leaving him to finish the dinner in his underpants.

That was a first at Bwthyn y Llan.

Anyway it will be nice to have a houseful again.

I’ve been collecting a nice set of cutlery over the past couple of years, buying the odd spoon and knife from John Lewis every time I go. I now have enough for four guests to use all at once, but this morning I realised I don’t own four matching cup and saucers, so popped down to Sainsbury’s and bought two to make up a set. 

That’s as far as I go with pushing the boat out.

 

The Eternals

 

After exceeding the 25 minimal singers for choir I felt as I did at school at being picked second last for the football team ( last was Darren Jones with the special Built up Right shoe) 

I was told that I couldn’t attend !

At a loose end, I went to see The Eternals hoping it was going to be as entertaining as Dune

It wasn’t 

I’m not going to attempt to tell you the plot. 

Suffice to say it’s a overlong, over complicated ,mismatch superhero film based loosely on Greek mythology 

Like The Great British Bake Off , The Eternals ticks every minority box 

This eclectic group of 10 heroes is fucking eclectic , a Latin leader ( Salma Hayek) a gay black boffin (Brian Tyree Henry), a deaf heroine ( Lauren Ridloff from The Walking Dead), as well as the acting lips that is Angelina Jolie, an incredibly wooden, very Scottish Richard Madden as well as other English Asian and American Indian and Irish actors. 

Who I did like was the addition of the mountainous Korean actor Ma Dong Seok ( the surprising hero from the Korean zombie movie hit Train To Busan ) He gave the whole movie a bit of heart.

I had to text my nephew Leo of my disappointment even before the final credits rolled 

He wasn’t surprised

The 18 year old, superhero fan hadn’t bothered to see it yet

Just as the film started choir messaged me, and told me I could attend as there had been a cancellation 

Hey ho

Ma Dong Seok and the acting lips Jolie

Giselle

Three years ago I went to see the breathtaking ballet Giselle at the Royal Opera House. 

The whole production blew me away

I see it returned to London just a few days ago

And the whole production can be streamed on line from the beginning of December 

Catch it if you can

Disappointed I can’t go to choir tonight , because of covid numbers are being limited to 25 

It was my only Tuesday free until Christmas too which is another bummer…I’m rostered to work every choir night until then….

Off to the cinema later in an effort to brighten my mood , going to see the big boys film The Eternals 

Out

Off to bed early .

Rather poignantly Miriam Margolyes in her recent autobiography revealed that she regretted coming out to her mother. On reflection she thought it was unkind.

She celebrates coming out in general, of course, but now thinks it is wrong to do so with people who are “ not equipped to cope with the information “ 

How sad she has carried around with her that guilt for all of these years.

I’m still not feeling 100%

Back to the doctors tomorrow