tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post8646204976562985183..comments2024-03-29T09:54:57.650+00:00Comments on Going Gently: Bereavement Etiquette John Going Gentlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-78375259627967928452015-02-28T11:41:23.681+00:002015-02-28T11:41:23.681+00:00I'd like my friends and family to have an amaz...I'd like my friends and family to have an amazing get to together and party like THEY would never die! (It would also be nice to be able to have put plenty of money aside by me to pay for it lol!.<br />I like the idea of a bunch of flowers for the survivors or something they can put garden afterwards. I have a small clump of snowdrops, know in the family as , 'Auntie Margys' snowdrops, as they came from her garden after her husband died and when her family were clearing the house and garden ready for her to go to the nursing home. I have been know to say,' 'Morning Aunty Margy' in the direction of the snowdrops! xxxSandies' Patchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11022362234675324965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-922106952263273862015-02-28T10:03:28.353+00:002015-02-28T10:03:28.353+00:00When my brother died many years ago (I was in my l...When my brother died many years ago (I was in my late teens), the house was filled to overflowing with flowers. It sickened me. There was even a wreath shaped like a cross on the coffee table. ..left there for weeks. I felt like I was walking into a funeral parlour every time I walked in the door. Years on, and many deaths later, I realise that the flowers brought great comfort to my parents. They were a symbol of the fact that others shared their grief. These days I always send a letter, sharing memories of the deceased, and call round with a freshly baked fruit cake. (If I'm baking a fruit cake for home use, my grandchildren have been known to ask "Who died?"). I also think it's important to mention the deceased when you see their family members later...share funny memories. Just let them know their loved one hasn't been forgotten. Lorrainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05218784937179873615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-61552869626001244822015-02-27T21:38:24.271+00:002015-02-27T21:38:24.271+00:00Oh shoot, I missed that post. I see that helping f...Oh shoot, I missed that post. I see that helping families w/money in certain communities was something done at a certain time, on both sides of the pond. xCarolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06394558427981331885noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-21850323988109470762015-02-27T18:05:59.902+00:002015-02-27T18:05:59.902+00:00Ah, shame on your friend, Cro! The only lesson you...Ah, shame on your friend, Cro! The only lesson you should take away is not to give her presents from now on! But others would love your gift.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-91509601285806123642015-02-27T17:57:49.265+00:002015-02-27T17:57:49.265+00:00The flowers you took over are perfect, John. That,...The flowers you took over are perfect, John. That, and your sincere sympathy are just right. <br />Plufrompdxehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07477806052578880686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-72307322021712569122015-02-27T17:09:29.497+00:002015-02-27T17:09:29.497+00:00Make sure your family reads thisMake sure your family reads thisJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-34885767501675880322015-02-27T17:08:36.215+00:002015-02-27T17:08:36.215+00:00Yes ..........a little bit of cheer is always appr...Yes ..........a little bit of cheer is always appreciated methinksJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-71270526967712929322015-02-27T17:07:20.360+00:002015-02-27T17:07:20.360+00:00I bet you witnessed the good and the bad in people...I bet you witnessed the good and the bad in peopleJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-71373332122948688042015-02-27T16:48:33.949+00:002015-02-27T16:48:33.949+00:00The only etiquette should be to do what your heart...The only etiquette should be to do what your heart tells you to do. Flowers for the living is a lovely idea, I bet they and your visit were very appreciated.<br /><br />The cards are welcome too in the weeks around a death as I think they show that people care and are thinking about you, they just need choosing carefully ... some of the verses are dire, better a simple card with a short handwritten message sometimes.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-44613608301025463582015-02-27T16:00:42.585+00:002015-02-27T16:00:42.585+00:00Worked for an insurance company for 8 years, I'...Worked for an insurance company for 8 years, I've forgotten how many death claims I've submitted. But it never got any easier, people react to death in so many different ways.cumbrianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10047500383078884463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-7448004314499725222015-02-27T15:27:27.730+00:002015-02-27T15:27:27.730+00:00When you are feeling all alone at the time of a de...When you are feeling all alone at the time of a death it doesn't matter if it is the most naff card in the world it is just so nice to know someone is thinking of you.Rachel Phillipshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053924416805878169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-90797522563845013322015-02-27T14:57:15.583+00:002015-02-27T14:57:15.583+00:00Yes guilt is a dreadful thing to cope with after a...Yes guilt is a dreadful thing to cope with after a death.......i was very lucky when my parents died ......i didnt have the guilt , i could have hadJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-5286122707180800062015-02-27T14:54:50.117+00:002015-02-27T14:54:50.117+00:00A good point virginia.......after a few weeks the ...A good point virginia.......after a few weeks the support often just drops away does it not?John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-10130206771946637192015-02-27T14:53:26.990+00:002015-02-27T14:53:26.990+00:00I think whats comming over loud and clear is do wh...I think whats comming over loud and clear is do what you think is rightJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81246036738819838752015-02-27T14:51:56.855+00:002015-02-27T14:51:56.855+00:00Carol
A while ago , i wrote a blog about two villa...Carol<br />A while ago , i wrote a blog about two village miners that were killed in 1890 ..over 2000 people came to their funeral in the village<br />And typical of the time there was a collection at the church gates for the families of the two men....John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-60366841642756377092015-02-27T14:44:17.806+00:002015-02-27T14:44:17.806+00:00I just had to google terratium
Very 1980sI just had to google terratium<br />Very 1980sJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-22859122188364308812015-02-27T14:42:54.601+00:002015-02-27T14:42:54.601+00:00Ive bought my daffodil today pat!Ive bought my daffodil today pat!John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-900514251071158152015-02-27T14:41:47.985+00:002015-02-27T14:41:47.985+00:00Sarah,
A post very dear to your heart i think.......Sarah, <br />A post very dear to your heart i think.....thank you for commenting....especially as this is a very raw time for you and your family.<br />I think its the " effort" that people make that touches the heart rather than the gift itself! <br />Take care of yourself <br />Jx<br />John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-36409533037717557262015-02-27T14:37:53.938+00:002015-02-27T14:37:53.938+00:00I read that he had died kim.....you have been thro...I read that he had died kim.....you have been through an emotional wringer over the last twelve monthsJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-10503944035366659012015-02-27T14:36:43.424+00:002015-02-27T14:36:43.424+00:00Flowers and the odd scotch egg would suit me bette...Flowers and the odd scotch egg would suit me better methinksJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-65485538851551910812015-02-27T14:35:34.822+00:002015-02-27T14:35:34.822+00:00The funeral " tea" ah yes.........many a...The funeral " tea" ah yes.........many a good scene in movies btwJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-46965468821496040632015-02-27T14:33:38.198+00:002015-02-27T14:33:38.198+00:00I seewhat you mean but i kind of disagree as i thi...I seewhat you mean but i kind of disagree as i think its important to mention the deceased first.....if a person does not want to talk about them, then they just wont and you can then follow their lead.<br />John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-45569398461772174082015-02-27T14:30:40.928+00:002015-02-27T14:30:40.928+00:00Judith, the fact that you can remember what food y...Judith, the fact that you can remember what food you were given means that the gesture was wonderfully importantJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-88708153113931133122015-02-27T14:28:33.894+00:002015-02-27T14:28:33.894+00:00I think i prefer weaver's thoughts on this sub...I think i prefer weaver's thoughts on this subject ...a blank card, or paper with your own wordsJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-56842001647046912782015-02-27T14:22:11.849+00:002015-02-27T14:22:11.849+00:00Bloody hell how awfulBloody hell how awfulJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.com