tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post7387563541665899536..comments2024-03-28T09:40:47.640+00:00Comments on Going Gently: Iago was rightJohn Going Gentlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-59929930574936610432016-11-10T18:56:03.954+00:002016-11-10T18:56:03.954+00:00My ex had reached the stage where if a woman spoke...My ex had reached the stage where if a woman spoke to me he would accuse her of fancying me... he had run out of men to accuse. I didn't dare make eye contact with anyone in case they spoke to me.. I would then suffer the sulks for days as he was convinced that they (total stranger of either sex) fancied me. I am ashamed of how weak and pathetic I must have been to put up with it for as long as I did. I am actually a very strong and confident person now... thank God. Cheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01049568808770731003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-2025190036062914182016-11-10T18:46:32.013+00:002016-11-10T18:46:32.013+00:00It took me a long time to leave. oh but how glad I...It took me a long time to leave. oh but how glad I was when I did. It was humiliating though as the police came and took me to the refuge... I bet my neighbours thought I had been arrestedCheriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01049568808770731003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-32337997334708261662016-11-10T17:44:12.251+00:002016-11-10T17:44:12.251+00:00Hope he doesn't read your blogHope he doesn't read your blog<br />Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03142065277317682890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-49906295599181454522016-11-10T09:50:21.172+00:002016-11-10T09:50:21.172+00:00I don't understand jealousy, it's such a d...I don't understand jealousy, it's such a destructive and vicious emotion. My father was a jealous man who was endlessly suspicious of my mother's whereabouts, who she was with and what she was doing. He suspected her of totally imaginary lesbian relationships and hated her having any close friendships.nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-30522740839076884902016-11-10T08:15:36.065+00:002016-11-10T08:15:36.065+00:00My comment doesn't seem to be here ... I feel ...My comment doesn't seem to be here ... I feel sad for the woman who has stopped seeing friends because of a jealous husband. I hate controlling people; I had controlling friends who control me no longer & I do not miss them at all.BadPennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09889591351222591488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-7338076236980660132016-11-10T02:57:37.188+00:002016-11-10T02:57:37.188+00:00Oh dear . . .
Not sure if I could live that way . ...Oh dear . . .<br />Not sure if I could live that way . . .<br />How sad.Lynnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08723721131329150461noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-21057834159957889192016-11-10T00:23:48.029+00:002016-11-10T00:23:48.029+00:00Odd isn't. it. Hubby and I swap texts and ema...Odd isn't. it. Hubby and I swap texts and emails back and forth most days, and photos of what we are up to at times too, but neither of us is the slightest bit jealous. We just like having the chance to keep in touch during the day that technology is allowing us. I wonder what it was about her body language or speech that let you realise there was more going on? I was in an abusive relationship for a few years way back in my youth. Luckily I had the good sense and ability to leave the first time he escalated it to physical violence, but by then the emotional and mental abuse was rife. Getting rid of your friends and family by never liking them and being grumpy when they visit or when you go out with them should be enough of a warning to any person. It is always the first step of abuse, to isolate you ready for what will follow. T.L. Merrybardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03713406934061779754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-17411348768531864172016-11-09T23:52:45.253+00:002016-11-09T23:52:45.253+00:00Oh, I am sad for your friend. No one should have t...Oh, I am sad for your friend. No one should have to live with a jealous boor. I hope you continue your lunches with her. I'm sure it is a bright spot in her life.Mary Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06338257247926089751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-64302952542494159842016-11-09T23:43:41.177+00:002016-11-09T23:43:41.177+00:00It may be democracy but I still want to cry.
Of al...It may be democracy but I still want to cry.<br />Of all my faults jealousy is not one of them. Our neighbor used to come over to talk about her husband, a long haul truck driver. I was at work and did not care. Carolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03183553318309692138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-14454810422302679172016-11-09T23:16:23.996+00:002016-11-09T23:16:23.996+00:00Perhaps he will grow. Into the role?Perhaps he will grow. Into the role?John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-44802787513360691392016-11-09T23:15:03.806+00:002016-11-09T23:15:03.806+00:00Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. We all crave se...Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. We all crave security in some way. <br /><br />We are shocked and surprised by the election. I can complain and cuss about it, but he will be President for four years anyway. I am thinking of ways I can cope and stand tall. I'll start working on a blog post for a few days from now. Travelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07787024407420088973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-25793536693703937452016-11-09T22:09:50.450+00:002016-11-09T22:09:50.450+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Notes From ABroadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12202279303962539035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-72216422694485614212016-11-09T22:09:04.062+00:002016-11-09T22:09:04.062+00:00That kind of jealousy is a leading indicator of ot...That kind of jealousy is a leading indicator of other, worse, issues.krayolakrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13887066973588730515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-48358416189069057412016-11-09T20:58:13.346+00:002016-11-09T20:58:13.346+00:00Don't worry John, a lot of Americans are reall...Don't worry John, a lot of Americans are really rattled today. But understand, our country is sorely divided and will most likely stay that way. There will be no healing, no groups coming together. Some of our citizens voted in a person so heinous and so unprepared for their various reasons, I don't want to go into them here, at the expense of everyone's else's safety. I have said it before, all Empire's have to fall, I feel like our time has come. MissFifihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09948141818594611257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-2501656395339990202016-11-09T20:40:58.218+00:002016-11-09T20:40:58.218+00:00Insidious is the word du jour
Insidious is the word du jour <br />John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-20614073676822778102016-11-09T20:37:26.397+00:002016-11-09T20:37:26.397+00:00A powerful story.......I know it's all about d...A powerful story.......I know it's all about degrees .......but this was a doozie. Glad you survived the relationship xJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-62454523535090054942016-11-09T20:34:41.955+00:002016-11-09T20:34:41.955+00:00Thanks, Rhymeswithplague - I did mean 12 years.Thanks, Rhymeswithplague - I did mean 12 years.Bevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17394981363342736577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-42200017741562912072016-11-09T20:22:19.587+00:002016-11-09T20:22:19.587+00:00My violent, alcoholic ex was jealous - though God ...My violent, alcoholic ex was jealous - though God knows what of as I didn't have the energy to even look at another man. Eventually he admitted he suspected I was meeting a lover every Saturday while out grocery shopping because "you take too long to do the shopping"! And get this, I started speeding up until I thought "what the f..... - the problem is his not mine"! Next time he accused me I told him yeah I was screwing the fishmonger - that way he wouldn't notice the smell! That got me another beating but it was almost worth it. One time, for the first time ever, I was going to England to visit my elderly mom (in her 90s) on my own, without my kids. I had put my suitcase on the bed to pack and when I moved my pillow I found a packet of condoms under there. We didn't use condoms so he must have gone out specially and bought them. Later that night, the idiot had started a fire in our fireplace using gasoline from the lawnmower. It had spilled over the floor and he was passed out drunk on the sofa. Well there was no way I was leaving my kids in that situation so I just didn't go to England. Someone had to be sure to get up in the middle of the night to make sure asswipe wasn't about to burn the house down. Like others have mentioned, there are so many other examples but those are the ones that spring to mind - oh and BTW, he was the one screwing his ho down at the OK Coral! Projection much! I have to admit that other than my kids, my divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me! Wish I had never met his sorry ass though - although he's someone else's problem now. AnnaTreadershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613671137557939083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-50041194972981968102016-11-09T19:36:32.004+00:002016-11-09T19:36:32.004+00:00My sister-in-law's husband was insanely jealou...My sister-in-law's husband was insanely jealous and possessive. He wouldn't even allow her to work more than a couple of afternoons a week and sometimes turned up at her workplace to check that all was in order and she wasn't consorting with other men. He also tried to control her clothing choices. He died at the age of forty nine and in a way she was then freed.Yorkshire Puddinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06019673884543913089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-58941287811070901102016-11-09T19:32:36.482+00:002016-11-09T19:32:36.482+00:00John raised the topic of the US election in his op...John raised the topic of the US election in his opening paragraph, and left no doubt as to what his opinion was. As they say in the justice system, he opened the door.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-1667400102359266832016-11-09T19:17:01.661+00:002016-11-09T19:17:01.661+00:00My dear John, what is so awful is that "contr...My dear John, what is so awful is that "control" (let's forget about jealousy for a moment though, of course, it's how "control" often does manifest itself) takes a hold before you know it. <br /><br />You have known me long enough to know that I am not exactly a pushover nor a doormat. Yet, "control" will creep up on you, insidiously, almost unnoticed. Emphasis on "almost". <br /><br />One of my favourite films (black and white), depicting the chilling effect of "gas lighting". Those "marvellous" moments when you wonder whether you are still ticking alright.<br /><br />U Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-74208163487378669052016-11-09T19:14:24.651+00:002016-11-09T19:14:24.651+00:00How hard for her. I just could not make a life f...How hard for her. I just could not make a life for myself without trust.The Weaver of Grasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13947971556343746883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-55126967444233051652016-11-09T19:12:10.644+00:002016-11-09T19:12:10.644+00:00A good job you were there to witness her husband&#...A good job you were there to witness her husband's behaviour and ask the question. Talking something through can sometimes create a realisation that things are not what they should be. She might try and do something about it, one hopes.yellowtulip118@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07457341621335533009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-20850392461039751422016-11-09T18:51:51.058+00:002016-11-09T18:51:51.058+00:00I am so sorry for your friend. And glad she could...I am so sorry for your friend. And glad she could (finally) talk about it. Your sometimes silliness is a bleasing.Elephant's Childhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06650565833097914052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-87102109702267518172016-11-09T18:19:34.773+00:002016-11-09T18:19:34.773+00:00The strangest thing: yesterday I was out with a fr...The strangest thing: yesterday I was out with a friend and she told me of another friend whose husband was in a care home, far gone with Alzheimer’s and almost totally oblivious of her existence. This friend of a friend visits him daily, driving 20 minutes there and back, and spending the whole day with him.<br /><br />During their marriage he was abusive and insanely jealous. Yet she goes on her daily pilgrimage.<br /><br />Warn your friend not to end up like this lady, even bad habits don’t always die. Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.com