tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post3852938922585035295..comments2024-03-28T20:11:14.233+00:00Comments on Going Gently: Always Your Mom & DadJohn Going Gentlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-41183371563490997042015-02-03T14:26:18.425+00:002015-02-03T14:26:18.425+00:00I've just watched the clip, absolutely heartbr...I've just watched the clip, absolutely heartbreaking. <br /><br />And all the more so because although Suky seems to have moved on, Mavis and Rosy are still mourning the death of Charley. Rosy in particular is heartbroken. We find her sat staring into space frequently in places she and Charley cuddled up together. She also refused to sleep in Charley's favourite bed until we bought a new mattress for it. <br /><br />Dogs seem to understand death and feel it's loss more so than some other animals. Although saying that I have had a few chickens who were absolutely bereft at the loss of a friend.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-85544229666471005862015-02-03T14:15:38.175+00:002015-02-03T14:15:38.175+00:00I'm glad you were there to hold that hand.
I ...I'm glad you were there to hold that hand.<br /><br />I believe firmly that the longer you have someone in your life the longer you need to grieve for them for. You have made so many more memories and they have been apart of your life always. Letting go must be so hard.Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-47469824814360095542015-02-03T04:37:12.449+00:002015-02-03T04:37:12.449+00:00Thank you so much John. My gramma of 94 years died...Thank you so much John. My gramma of 94 years died last night. I am having trouble with it at age 49 but my mother is having a harder time. Your blog demonstrated very appropriately about how to try to help her and what not to say.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-74204708442102976292015-02-02T18:04:08.830+00:002015-02-02T18:04:08.830+00:00As others have said, no matter how old you or they...As others have said, no matter how old you or they are, you are their child, and they are your parents. Like Mitchell, I couldn't watch the video, either. <br /><br />There can be such strength and comfort given when you hold somebody's hand in a moment of deep loss.megan blogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04555646904983619596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-77562850998771860302015-02-02T01:26:43.104+00:002015-02-02T01:26:43.104+00:00Oh John that is sad . I send a motherly hug your w...Oh John that is sad . I send a motherly hug your way xxxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-69492097691859919722015-02-01T19:48:48.277+00:002015-02-01T19:48:48.277+00:00It's been a dozen years since we were sure (se...It's been a dozen years since we were sure (several times) we were going to lose my father. I like to think the extra years we've been granted may cushion the blow when it comes. I know it won't.Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09081652747471904560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-89109331332808324032015-02-01T01:01:58.111+00:002015-02-01T01:01:58.111+00:00Fifi, I spent 8 years offering training to various...Fifi, I spent 8 years offering training to various organisations on Coping with Bereavement and Loss". One of my slides was a list of things you don't say to anyone grieving. On that list was "It's God's will" and usually there was a murmur of agreement and plenty of nodding heads. During one session to community nurses in Rotherham, one of the participants who had grieved the loss of her daughter's boyfriend, when I got to this slide, spoke up and told us, "That was the only thing which kept me going", which taught me that for every list which most people will find either helpful or unhelpful, there will be others who feel differently. I learned so much from the people I worked amongst.Sarah Headhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08975928642943693605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81571199536280464982015-01-31T14:41:16.380+00:002015-01-31T14:41:16.380+00:00You are a good man and that video absolutely kille...You are a good man and that video absolutely killed me.<br />I lost my parents within 6 months of each other in 1997-1998. I remember my brother and I saying, "We are orphans." The weirdness of it never goes away and becomes more apparent when you have a child. His maternal grandparents would have loved him and he would have loved the attention. But all you can do is soldier on and tell him stories about them so he has some connection to them as real flesh and blood and not just some intangible idea of a grandparent.<br />No matter how old someone is when they die, somebody has loved them and someone will miss them terribly. I personally hate when someone says, "God has a plan" Well, he didn't friggin ask me about it. Just hug someone if you have nothing to say, please.MissFifihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09948141818594611257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-404877479763823572015-01-31T13:58:00.498+00:002015-01-31T13:58:00.498+00:00Mary things are incredibly raw for you....so sorry...Mary things are incredibly raw for you....so sorry xxJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81952361914752893682015-01-31T13:56:50.159+00:002015-01-31T13:56:50.159+00:00I said to nana below that I should have mentioned ...I said to nana below that I should have mentioned old friends to my blog entry....<br />Just as important and just as overlooked eh?John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-6166376926013584892015-01-31T13:54:50.416+00:002015-01-31T13:54:50.416+00:00Leisha
I am an orphan too!Leisha<br />I am an orphan too!John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-61334722272946667442015-01-31T13:52:07.514+00:002015-01-31T13:52:07.514+00:00I think all of us have stories like these don'...I think all of us have stories like these don't we?John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-880499353587215322015-01-31T13:50:57.703+00:002015-01-31T13:50:57.703+00:00I should have added friends to my entry nana..shou...I should have added friends to my entry nana..shouldn't i?John Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-88680131378281503552015-01-31T13:00:23.639+00:002015-01-31T13:00:23.639+00:00Love and death ....all the same even in the animal...Love and death ....all the same even in the animal kingdom.Linda Metcalfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14706004604567190617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-44686349023482304312015-01-31T12:25:45.243+00:002015-01-31T12:25:45.243+00:00I can remember going out to see an adult with lear...I can remember going out to see an adult with learning difficulties who had lived with his mum all his life. She had died the day before I arrived. I asked him how he was feeling as I wanted him to express this instead of bottling it up so I could help him.<br />'I feel like it is the first day of school again'<br />I went outside after the visit and sobbed my heart out as that said it all really.<br />Bless you JohnALT58https://www.blogger.com/profile/09863561462074785093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-26776167571083537222015-01-31T08:37:20.085+00:002015-01-31T08:37:20.085+00:00There is a lovely story that goes around the inter...There is a lovely story that goes around the internet from time to time about parents who find their young son sitting on the lap of an elderly neighbour who had just lost her husband. When asked what he was doing he replies, 'I was helping her to cry'.Andi's English Attichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04136573194920355678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-58620249527569544442015-01-31T07:56:27.137+00:002015-01-31T07:56:27.137+00:00Beautifully said, J.G. It needs to be put into wor...Beautifully said, J.G. It needs to be put into words, which you've done perfectly.<br /><br />Like some others above I cannot bear to play the video. There's no need to - I'm already feeling Brutus' pain heavily inside me.Raybeardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12424095016313843883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-75693476599665587622015-01-31T06:31:37.617+00:002015-01-31T06:31:37.617+00:00I found it very difficult watching poor Brutus.I found it very difficult watching poor Brutus.Cro Magnonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840670227576695352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-63141691245078983472015-01-31T03:47:07.590+00:002015-01-31T03:47:07.590+00:00I used to think I had to say something unique to c...I used to think I had to say something unique to comfort a grieving person; I never could get out more than a few words before starting to tear up myself. It felt like if I cried too I was of no help to the bereaved person, or that it took the focus off their grief. So I learned just to say "I'm so sorry" very quickly and then stop. It felt inadequate at first, but there's a reason that's the very phrase that is most used. Those few words pretty much cover what needs said to the grieving person. The rest can be covered by a hug or holding a hand, and listening.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-39691686461069400442015-01-31T03:34:16.248+00:002015-01-31T03:34:16.248+00:00The world needs more of you,The world needs more of you,Travelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07787024407420088973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-2602721567875857702015-01-31T02:56:53.866+00:002015-01-31T02:56:53.866+00:00Mum died earlier this month..now I'm a snivell...Mum died earlier this month..now I'm a snivelling wreck.<br />Jane xJane and Chrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08102086552682194819noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81027556777639620942015-01-31T02:55:46.367+00:002015-01-31T02:55:46.367+00:00I know we joke around a lot and take barbs back an...I know we joke around a lot and take barbs back and forth, but bless you for holding that hand, John. The world is better for having you in it. Optimistic Existentialisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11507986337866049924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-11692027417187424022015-01-31T01:47:20.372+00:002015-01-31T01:47:20.372+00:00Yes, people just need love and sympathy at times r...Yes, people just need love and sympathy at times rather than platitudes.<br /><br />Love,<br />JanieJanie Junebughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10573607241326291404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-10231189025383136432015-01-31T01:28:15.910+00:002015-01-31T01:28:15.910+00:00I can hardly see to write as my eyes are full of t...I can hardly see to write as my eyes are full of tears.<br /><br />My parents died when I was in my 50's. I had them a long time and loved them every day more and more. Loss of love is hard at any time.Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032033918798053005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-88617946142797080282015-01-31T01:09:40.474+00:002015-01-31T01:09:40.474+00:00Right now, this very evening, the lost of my frien...Right now, this very evening, the lost of my friend of sixty years Ed, is hitting me very hard. He usually came down to his place at Rehoboth Beach on the weekend. I could call him anytime and ask "Want to go out to dinner tonight Ed?" Ed died January 27th at 4 AM in the morning. Never again, never can I call him for dinner. For years we have been doing this. Never again. Another piece of my life, gone. Eventually we all get used to a loss of a loved and close one but life is never completely the same. Thank you for this very touching post.<br />RonRonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11161930319264523497noreply@blogger.com