I still find it a little difficult to think that I am a professional counsellor.
That is something I know I have to work on, and to be honest have worked on over the past few years. Stepping out of a nurse uniform was a big step for me, and without that uniform I literally felt somewhat exposed and naked, with old vulnerabilities gnawing at my psychi of “you can’t possibly do that ?”
I know that I can do that, and I can do that rather well thank you very much, but it was a difficult lesson to learn.
My supervisor at the charity has started to give me paying clients, before I was concentrating on nhs clients with a view of bringing the waiting lists down, this subtle change has allowed my imposter syndrome niggles to re surface and thoughts like , am I giving people their money’s worth? rears its ugly head from time to time.
I’m getting better at ignoring these dissenting whispers
All good therapists must feel that.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience few admit to it
DeleteI have told you that I have a degree in Psychology. I have also shared that a Psychologist helped both my son and me. I honestly feel that it takes a person with the "niggles" you mention here to be truly helpful to clients because it makes you more real, more trusting, more approachable. Reading this post reminds me of how I felt during those times. I am so grateful for those sessions and many of your clients will feel the same.
ReplyDeleteThank you dear nell
DeleteIt's loud voice in many of us.
ReplyDeleteA voice that deafens
DeleteI suppose the more you do it and succeed, the quieter those voices will become.
ReplyDeleteI don’t want to silence my worries, I know they help me question my practice in supervision, I also have the misfortune to work with another counsellor who is not particularly professional
DeleteYou likely had similar thoughts and feelings at the start of your nursing career.
ReplyDeletelol it was 40 years ago, I can’t remember
DeleteYour confidence will grow with experience!
ReplyDeleteThank u, you have reminded me to log my hours
DeleteI would have to agree with Krayolakris. Experience is the best teacher. I think nursing is an excellent base for a counselor.
ReplyDeleteNursing get you to problem solve quickly , sometimes I need to bite my tongue
DeleteAll your traits, thoughts, and niggles make you you! And niggles aren’t all bad, with some also serving a purpose. Yours make you a kind, compassionate, and caring counselor. Time will bring more confidence. Having had someone like you helped me a few years back, for which I am forever grateful. Dee
ReplyDeleteI’m learning to listen to my inner voice more,, for sure
DeleteAs others have said, it takes time and experience to gain more confidence in what a person is doing. Sounds like you are on the right track, John!
ReplyDeleteA work in progress my friend
DeleteYou have been helping others for decades, you have added to your skills, you will be very helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou have been helping others for decades, you have added to your skills, you will be very helpful.
ReplyDeleteHow was Barcelona ❤️🙏
DeleteQuestioning yourself and acknowledging all the little niggles and self doubts will surely make you a much better counsellor than one who goes in all guns blazing with an 'I'm qualified don't you know' attitude.
ReplyDeleteSupervision is the process where all counsellors should reflect and question themselves
DeleteJohn i surely hope this is not something you must fight for the rest of your life... I hope you will persevere and overcome and know in your heart and soul what we all know... you John are an awesome therapist and will only get even better over time.. chin up dear one.. Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteI’m 63, I’m sure my aversion to over confidence beaten in me by my parents will remain with me all of my life
DeleteI'm sure we've all had dealings with professionals (not necessarily counsellors) who have no heart, because they think they know it all and they know best. Give me a professional who takes time to listen to me and can admit to not having all the answers, but will work with me to find them! xx
ReplyDeleteI often use the metaphor “ my job is to walk alongside you for a while”
DeleteThe kindness, compassion, and caring you brought with you and expanded in your nursing career will continue to serve you and your counseling clients well. You are that same person, only better!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
and that grey chair looks really comfortable!
DeleteHugs!
It is, the tissues are on the table just out of shot
DeleteThere's no doubt in my mind that you're an excellent counsellor. Not one. -Kate
ReplyDeleteAgree
DeleteI’m quite challenging so the person centred approach of my training , doesn’t always suit me
DeleteTell us more about that please.
DeleteHaving read your blog for over 10 years, I would be very surprised if you were anything but an excellent counsellor.
ReplyDeleteKind and appreciated
DeleteI think all of us feel some degree of "imposter syndrome" during our careers.
ReplyDeleteI think you are right , I’ve always shied away from over confidence ( thank you other for that one)
DeleteI’d bet anything that you’re already a great counsellor. Just as in nursing, your confidence will grow. I’d mistrust anyone who didn’t have doubts when they started out.
ReplyDeleteI’m also aware that it’s another safety go to of mine…humility which is part real part habit
DeleteI taught young children. I had a “teaching uniform” that I created for myself so I was comfortable but felt professional. I had several below the knee dresses and soft cardigans. I only wore those clothes for school and I liked not having to figure out what to put on each morning. It boosted my confidence at the beginning and just simplified my planning later. Maybe you can don a set of counselor duds…
ReplyDeleteAlready sorted and picked by chic Eleanor xx
DeleteJust be you and listen to your clients. You know how to do that as you did it as a nurse Everybody has the niggles when starting out in a new job. Gigi
ReplyDeleteIt’s just a questioning hiccup …I’m not counting validation xx
DeleteIf you are as insightful with our clients as you are in this blog, you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteThanks mum
DeleteI had therapy once …it was fucking shit
ReplyDeleteLee
( lol) 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸
The usual breath of fresh air xxx
DeleteWell said, Lee. Thank you.
DeleteShe’s a tonic
DeleteJohn you have been using your counseling skills for years in nursing a degree shapes that up on to a working form so don’t have imposter syndrome as you have really earned your stripes and show your compassion even in your blog .Be proud of your achievements . X Bernie
ReplyDeleteI’m enjoying the validation Bernie , I know I’m shallow enough lol
DeleteWe all know how good you are/ will continue to be---my concern with this post is that a potential client might google you and be reading your blog. Yes, a caring vulnerable therapist is a wonderful thing, but the person paying for your services may want someone who is competent and confident about their skills. Don't let you self effacing worries impede your career. You're posting to the public. You are needed, and will be so good.
ReplyDeleteNo I’m happy if clients say I’m not a good fit . I was asked today about my training and was honest about my graduation , they chose to stay with me not because of my experience but my demeanour and personality
DeleteThat's wonderful and just goes to show how secure and selfconfident you really are.
DeleteHonesty in my opinion is always the best policy and in this instance it certainly proves the saying. I've had several occasions where I have had counselling in my life and the counsellor in each case (fortunately) was a person on my wavelength which made the experience completely worthwhile.
DeleteNice one Jo xx
DeleteA nurses uniform gives us all confidence and faith,.
DeleteHow about developing your own professional Counsellor attire … a dress shirt slacks and shoes , or jumper and scarf dependent on weather ..look at self in mirror before leaving house . A kind twinkle in the eye as usual .just have confidence you have done the hard yards and you are giving your learning and lived experience to others ♥️
I would be happy to sit in the empty chair and have you as a counsellor. I would value your insights and guidance. I did go to a counsellor a few times. I was pretty distraught and not thinking clearly - I came away with my self esteem reinforced and a clarity of thought that helped.Jean/Winnipeg
ReplyDeleteYour academic qualification proves that you are not an impostor John. But more than that - your life experience, your gregarious nature and your kindness mean that you have several valuable qualities that lots of time-served counsellors lack. Be proud of yourself and just do it.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that your supervisor has given you more clients say a lot about how confident he/she is in your ability to serve your clients well.
ReplyDeleteA little self-doubt is normal and probably healthy but trust yourself and your supervisor....You are doing great work.
I only know you through your blog, but based on that, I have to believe you're perfect for the job.
ReplyDeleteI think that helping others ultimately helps your own soul. You have a good heart. That heart is what will make the difference in your world.
ReplyDeleteI was about to say exactly the same as Debby above. There is no better feeling than knowing that one has helped others.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you need to see a counsellor to reassure you about your counselling skills.
ReplyDeleteI do , she’s called my supervisor
DeleteMy counselor is fantastic precisely because she's been in therapy herself for many years. I remember being in massage therapy school many years ago, where we were told the best massage therapists themselves got MANY massages, so that we could actually KNOW what it felt like when someone was doing a good or shitty job. When you're on the other end of it yourself, you can be truly objective and therefore helpful. Having such diverse life experiences John - that is another super power of yours! I think feeling like an imposter is so normal.
ReplyDeleteI am sure after reading your blog for years that you are a more than competent counsellor and will be=great with 90% of clients. However despite your best work there will be some you can’t work with to your best ability! This is not your fault or theirs it is just a personality thing! With any clients you can only do your best and hope you can relate together, it won’t work everytime but it is not anyone’s fault!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll grow to own it.
ReplyDeleteI saw a bit of the post you deleted. Hope everything is okay. Sending hugs John.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're OK John. Seeing that you deleted your last post, I am presuming you've had some difficult news. All the best mon ami; Cro x
ReplyDeleteJohn, I hope you are okay since your following post was deleted.
ReplyDeleteAdding my wishes to the above. I hope all is well. Hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteWe're all thinking of you John. No need for you to reply. Just saying, you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you John,hope you are ok! Mary X
ReplyDeleteI missed the deleted post mentioned here. Are you okay John?
ReplyDeleteThinking of you❤️
ReplyDelete