A Potty Mouth

When I bumped into the affable despot Jason on Friday , he rather cryptically mentioned that he'd never really liked John Lennon.
The superstar's music making wasn't an issue at all in all this, but Jason thought that he must have been a most disagreeable person in real life!
I don't really dislike many people, however,there is one old fart in the village that I cannot abide, and he, to be fair, wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire..but you get that in villages where two strong personalities clash. If you have a strong opinion in a village...there is no where to hide.
Having said all this, I may come across like a cross between Julie Andrews, Mary Berry and Mother Theresa on the blog, but I can assure all of you that I can be a right old c*+t when crossed by any unpleasant character who just happens to say the wrong word.
It is an ability that gets more pronounced the older I get.

I was once very loudly told off by a rancid woman in Tescos for parking the Berlingo in a covered mother and baby bay. The woman didn't allow me to explain that I was parked there so that my babies, the dogs, wouldn't get overheated on a remarkably hot day, and so very VERY loudly I told her to " fuck off and take her pug ugly baby with her!"
It was a cheap shot...but a funny one, as everyone could see that her baby was indeed pug ugly.
Like I said......I don't always act like Felicity Kendal.

I am blessed with a quick wit.
It is a gift inherited from my mother, who possessed a very sharp mouth, and it is a gift which has been honed by the increasing confidence of Middle age .

I am glad that there are some bonuses for getting older......

I will leave you with one of my favourite insults

"That slut! When she dies they’ll have to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin!" Bette Davis, on Barbara Stanwyck

Christmas Traditions Cont.

Well we just have indulged ourselves in our usual pre Christmas tradition

Of 

" The setting up of the Christmas Tree Row!"

Ho ho ho....hey ho!

In Front Of The Fire......

The last post was a bit depressing

So the best medicine for that 

Is a sleepy bulldog on your shoulder in the glow of a real fire

A Mince Pie In The Vestry

The Church's East Window , illuminated by a cold winter sky

I'm working later this evening , so am off for a siesta in a moment.
It's midday, which is, I know, an odd time for a  sleep, but I will need to be up around dusk which is around 4 pm to lock the animals away.
Chris has taken himself off to Manchester Christmas shopping with an old friend, leaving me to sort out the slow cooker and mulled wine for the Church carol service tonight.
In between hailstone showers I took the stuff over to the vestry. After turning on the central heating, I was just leaving when I literally bumped into a couple of amblers in their sixties who were standing rather uncertainly on the Church path.
" Is the Church open? " the man asked hopefully
" I'm only putting on the central heating" I told them in way of explaination
" oh what a shame, The Churches in Gwaenysgor and Llanasa have been open when we have visited" the wife said.
Of course , I let them in to look around the little church,and switched on the lights to cheer the place up somewhat. As they pottered around I made sure that the slow cooker was polished and clean and as I waited I dusted the back bookcase, and vestry cupboards even though they didn't need dusting .
After around five minutes or so , I took a look back in the Church. The wife was standing quietly by the font at the back of the Church as her husband sat stock still in the very front pew with his head bowed.
" Everything ok?" I whispered, in way of galvanising them to think about leaving
and the  wife turned to me and said with rather a sad half smile " No not really"

It wasn't for me to say anything else.....I just nodded and went to sit in the vestry to eat one of Chris' bought Marks and Spencer mince pies next to the vacume cleaner.

The couple left shortly after, leaving a kind of melancholy feeling about the place.

Be Careful When You FaceTime

When I was schlepping in the mud , feeding chickens and filling the water butts Chris left me several messages on FaceTime and on the land line to call him at work. All the exercise and cold air made me have a sudden need " for the loo" so killing two birds with one stone, I grabbed my iPad  and pressed the FaceTime button just seconds after resting my fat arse on the bog seat.
Well.......knowing each other for so long, the sight of the fiancée " on the throne" is no longer a shocking event!
So.......I shall now publicly apologise to one very chicly  dressed Professor Malone , who was standing serenely  behind Chris' left shoulder when my FaceTime image flashed it's way over the Internet!
Hey ho.....

To Much Heart On Sleeve?

The Christmas Bookcase

Yesterday I posted ten cards.
some of the official invites for the Wedding!
Just ten cards.....all beautifully written by my own fair hand......
£ 6.40 !
I nearly had a stroke right then and there in the Post Office
Six quid!
I was still smarting from the cost of a first class stamp when a woman stopped me on the Dyserth Country walkway to say hello to the dogs.
" hello Winnie" she cooed, as Winnie blew her a few moo moo kisses
And I took a closer look at the woman to see where I knew her from
I didn't recognise her.
" She looks bigger than she does on the blog" the woman said in way of explanation and we chatted for a while, with her knowing all sorts of facts about me and me knowing absolutely nothing about her.
It was an odd feeling.
Perhaps I do share a little too much on Going Gently..it has to be said......for......many other bloggers go to extraordinary lengths to maintain their anonymity on their own blogs .
There are a lot of nutcases out there.....
It's a case of horses for courses I guess.
Anyhow, I have very little private information to share with the world today....
I've put the fairy lights in 1940s bookcase in the living room and as the animals all galloped up to bed for their daily lie together, I am left to work out just how many Christmas cards I can afford to send this year.

The daily lie in

Sick Bed Blues

 Chris has been unwell in bed for much of the day

Sore throat and a heavy cold

I have renamed him, Violet,

Dowager, Countess of Grantham for the day!

It seems apt

His throat does look somewhat swollen

But at lunchtime he has managed to force down,

2 large pieces of gruyere cheese quiche, a side salad,

One large bowl of curry soup

And a massive slab of Christmas cake

So I suspect he'll pull through....

Hey ho

Is it me?

But

Can anyone else identify 

with this,

Last walk of the night is around 9pm

I couldn't be arsed getting redressed

( I'd just had a  bath and liberal rubbing with Vic's)

So I donned an overcoat over pajamas 

Slipped my very fetching Kit Hopkins' hand made slippers Inside 

my crocs and tottered out into the night like a very badly dressed transvestite 

Apologies to community Council member Paul

who caught me in full glare of the headlights of his Land Rover
in the lane.

The red Pom poms on the slippers are a standout