tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post3980497100408412826..comments2024-03-28T14:14:52.190+00:00Comments on Going Gently: Modern Parents : a discussionJohn Going Gentlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-31663244634677253642014-02-18T23:15:01.604+00:002014-02-18T23:15:01.604+00:00We call parents who believe their children are the...We call parents who believe their children are the best, etc. "helicopter parents".<br /><br />Did not happen in my era. Oh, my, no.Susan Kanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834094675218254410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81635219267648079432014-02-18T15:38:00.782+00:002014-02-18T15:38:00.782+00:00It certainly never did back in the day! But then y...It certainly never did back in the day! But then you never heard me eulogising about my child either!Bel-Amihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14482028713257360473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-30563379875777914652014-02-18T11:55:56.027+00:002014-02-18T11:55:56.027+00:00You didn't happen to hear the discussion on &#...You didn't happen to hear the discussion on 'The Great Tapestry of Scotland' on Radio 4 did you? My pal Andy was being interviewed about it.Between Me and Youhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863155145862706966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-58577747164463483062014-02-17T19:54:04.111+00:002014-02-17T19:54:04.111+00:00Thanks for the comments.. Didn't have time to ...Thanks for the comments.. Didn't have time to reply to all.... Needed to go to work xJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-2948232902142141792014-02-17T19:28:21.567+00:002014-02-17T19:28:21.567+00:00Unfortunately, there are some parents who live the...Unfortunately, there are some parents who live their lives through their children and that is quite sad really and terribly detrimental to the children themselves. Roots and wings are what you give your kids as opposed to interference and self-doubt. <br />ps They're not all little b's!lolBetween Me and Youhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863155145862706966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-17799537575237828692014-02-17T14:19:38.155+00:002014-02-17T14:19:38.155+00:00That wouldn't happen in my houseThat wouldn't happen in my houseJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-77055067303488822482014-02-17T14:14:11.071+00:002014-02-17T14:14:11.071+00:00Of course, some of us think that dog owners who al...Of course, some of us think that dog owners who allow their animals to leap all over you with an enthusiastic cry of "they're only being friendly" are just as bad...Bel-Amihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14482028713257360473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-56517383119857739632014-02-17T12:50:47.877+00:002014-02-17T12:50:47.877+00:00Certainly not just a Swedish phenomenon but also o...Certainly not just a Swedish phenomenon but also one to which a great many USA moms and dads subscribe. And as the Swedish have found out (and as I wish this country would find out) letting your kid constantly think they are the "king of the hill" often has dire consequences. I too am thankful that my parents, particularly my mother never subscribed to this belief, my mother's feeling about children was that that they should be "seen but not heard" OR be sent to child communes (slave labor camps?) when they're very young and not return home until they're young adults. Thankfully my father was considerably fairer than this, so I managed to survive till I left home. There are so many truly important things that children need to learn when they're young...how to survive in a difficult world ...responsibility for their actions...concern for their fellow human beings...impossible to do when you're the "king of the hill."Yaya Snapshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00724937709679874631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-86155522991855527872014-02-17T11:11:30.921+00:002014-02-17T11:11:30.921+00:00I still hate having to tolerate unruly kids in res...I still hate having to tolerate unruly kids in restaurants, pubs or on aeroplanes. Usually it's the stupid parents' fault. Some things have to be nipped in the bud and that means making the boundaries clear from a very early age. Behaviourally speaking, if you let cats out of bags, it's almost impossible to get them back in. Of course real parental love means giving praise where praise is due but it is also about helping your child to understand his/her relationship to society and that means creating frameworks.Yorkshire Puddinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06019673884543913089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-33579665887572564602014-02-17T08:40:14.988+00:002014-02-17T08:40:14.988+00:00hmmmm.... listening to parenting radio shows are w...hmmmm.... listening to parenting radio shows are we ?<br /><br />;)<br /><br />xoxox<br /><br />btw you are spot on - i think what is lacking in modern parenting though is teaching your child to be sincerely kind...compassion is a decision not an emotion...Janice Grinyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14363741660626407979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-70308709090018670572014-02-17T08:18:42.470+00:002014-02-17T08:18:42.470+00:00Oh thank god I am, and will remain, child free. Yo...Oh thank god I am, and will remain, child free. You know what gets my goat? When did it become normal that parents expect children to be given a seat on busy public transport while adults stand. I have been given a nasty stare on the London tube on many occasion by a man with an 8 year old, in fact I regularly see the parent stand so the child can sit down. This turn about must have happened in the last 20 years as I would never have been allowed to sit if an adult had to stand.DHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14199859409385042568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-50661750819174244572014-02-17T05:14:10.199+00:002014-02-17T05:14:10.199+00:00I was an only child, not by parents choice, and I ...I was an only child, not by parents choice, and I certainly wasn't treated as any kind of princess. But I did know my mum and dad loved me. Now I have three grown up kids of my own. All of them are hardworking decent people. But each were different. Parenting is a hard job and most do the best they can. <br />But having said that can somebody tell the parents that if their kids are riding a scooter or bike on the pavement they should stop for other people. Also whoever invented the kids supermarket trolleys should be run over by one.janeydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09420791418635359514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-83403935399990571192014-02-17T02:08:14.724+00:002014-02-17T02:08:14.724+00:00As someone who became a parent unexpectedly, surpr...As someone who became a parent unexpectedly, surprise!, I am grateful my husband and I had discussed a "hypothetical child" for a few years. We started to see and hate the parents who were raising their own "special snowflake". The entitled git, wrapped in a cocoon of constant praise and adoration and whoa to anyone who tried to reprimand the child or tell them their book report was no good. (Cause mommy or daddy wrote it and they would never let junior fail!) <br />One thing we abhor is giving every child a trophy in sports pretty much just for signing up to play. There has to be winners and losers. By teaching them they are all "winners' to help with their "self esteem", we have created quite a mess with some kids. <br />Children are meant to be loved and guided well. We are gifting them to society and what a grand, upstanding gift they should be.MissFifihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09948141818594611257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-69984734795952114422014-02-17T01:56:37.206+00:002014-02-17T01:56:37.206+00:00OH Amen brother on that one!!!OH Amen brother on that one!!!MissFifihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09948141818594611257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-81975435156332394342014-02-17T01:42:15.855+00:002014-02-17T01:42:15.855+00:00The same discussion happens here. My partner descr...The same discussion happens here. My partner describes it rather well. Children use to be part of the family, not the pinnacle. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-69134414253978531332014-02-17T01:07:08.973+00:002014-02-17T01:07:08.973+00:00I am a teacher of 2nd grade children and I have so...I am a teacher of 2nd grade children and I have some students who demand (seriously) the attention of any adult at all times. Not that they are ill behaved, but obviously they dominate the scene at home. It can be exhausting. Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10123691580195879542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-52570621786648452802014-02-17T01:04:46.765+00:002014-02-17T01:04:46.765+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03766752716029571200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-6918628094359775992014-02-17T00:54:25.802+00:002014-02-17T00:54:25.802+00:00Thank you Sherry!!!! That says it all!!!!!Thank you Sherry!!!! That says it all!!!!!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03766752716029571200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-43431124812314688962014-02-16T23:55:30.461+00:002014-02-16T23:55:30.461+00:00The raising of children is a favorite subject of m...The raising of children is a favorite subject of mine and I am the mother of a 30 and 35 year old. You are right on with your parenting. This worked for me so well. Indeed it is a balance between being a freind and parent. To respect them, but also to encourage that respect for you. I could write a few pages on the subject. But the main thing is IMHO to realize that how your childhood was affects you for the rest of your life. marlanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15128039722160556974noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-53316062461125481632014-02-16T23:33:10.443+00:002014-02-16T23:33:10.443+00:00I think balance is so important -- and such a tric...I think balance is so important -- and such a tricky thing: helping a child feel loved with attention and affirmation while setting firm boundaries, helping him or her to learn right and wrong and the reality of living with consequences for decisions made. And then there's the challenge of fashioning a life with and without children -- family time vs. adult time. <br /><br />All of that said, it seems that in way too many families today, the children are the bosses and that really doesn't work well long-term especially when they become young adults and have to deal with real world expectations of others for whom they are NOT the center of the universe. I grew up in a home where we were dearly loved but also physically and emotionally abused when our father was drinking. We knew poverty and want and fear. It propelled us out of the house and to make lives for ourselves. It was far from ideal, but not crippling. I've noticed that my siblings have been far too easy on their children as a result of our harsh upbringing and, from what I can see, the results are worse: obnoxious kids with no rules or expectations who think they're the center of the universe -- which really is crippling in the case of a niece who is now a young adult.<br /><br />I have friends who have kids who have grown up wonderfully and their secret seems to be a good balance of encouragement and discipline from the earliest years. They have been taught responsibility, to be caring for others and to have the skills to gain confidence in dealing with the world rather than feeling that the world owes them big time. Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-65032926413542940262014-02-16T20:38:30.318+00:002014-02-16T20:38:30.318+00:00Just for the record - my granddad used to call me ...Just for the record - my granddad used to call me the Queen of Sheba, and he came from a long line of east end of London born and breds.Andi's English Attichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04136573194920355678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-78916184215544282892014-02-16T20:21:01.056+00:002014-02-16T20:21:01.056+00:00There's a school of thought that neither prais...There's a school of thought that neither praise nor criticism are good for children - praise because then they feel they have to keep living up to some exalted standard, and criticism because it makes them feel inadequate and useless. The important thing is simply to take a close interest in what your child is doing and make them feel that whatever they are doing is worth something.nickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-7585256527170135822014-02-16T20:17:28.378+00:002014-02-16T20:17:28.378+00:00I have only one thing to say...being a parent is a...I have only one thing to say...being a parent is a damn hard job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-18188003592770415622014-02-16T19:29:01.616+00:002014-02-16T19:29:01.616+00:00Yes, I think so too. 'The Queen of bloody Sheb...Yes, I think so too. 'The Queen of bloody Sheba' may be more common.Tom Stephensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05979590950587415840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-54854501673421126182014-02-16T19:17:16.087+00:002014-02-16T19:17:16.087+00:00We call it Organic Parenting in our house.
Ther...We call it Organic Parenting in our house. <br /><br />There is too much 'stuff' and too much to want. Parents go into debt to get the must have of the season for their child. for fear they will be bullied at school. I hear it at work. <br /><br />I also hear some quite frightening things from my very young co-workers that they will not have children as they cant afford them and a house or are worried what type of world they are bringing them into.<br /><br />I have no children, so I cant defend or say much about it. All I know is if I had children I would try and send them to a fee paying independent school. My neighbour is a retired state school head teacher, what she tells me scares me. Solhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10518631542782309728noreply@blogger.com