tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post3309501810613206562..comments2024-03-29T14:46:21.682+00:00Comments on Going Gently: Today's Moral MazeJohn Going Gentlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comBlogger71125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-9463447708496965562016-09-14T22:29:19.282+00:002016-09-14T22:29:19.282+00:00You're being very sensible John. It's a cr...You're being very sensible John. It's a crazy age we live in, one of rumours and gossip mongering. Better to be safe than sorry ... and the thing is I bet Cameron doesn't mind chatting on the doorstep at all.<br /><br />Of course it works both ways, my son was once threatened by his teenage step daughter that if he wasn't 'nicer to her' ie let her have her own way all the time, she would go to the police station and tell them he 'touched her' needless to say he doesn't do anything or go anywhere with her without the rest of the family too. She shot herself in the foot there, no more shopping trips with Dad for new clothes!Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04177854521955532744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-89122257650377773172016-09-14T10:44:44.008+00:002016-09-14T10:44:44.008+00:00To be honest, I wasn't sure what the problem w...To be honest, I wasn't sure what the problem was until you explained it. It seems odd to me that anyone should think that older man (gay or not) plus teenage boy or girl = predatory intent. Have we entered a world where everyone fears the worst from everyone else?Shooting Parrotshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07503757845024102476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-65553083495062072212016-09-14T09:47:30.313+00:002016-09-14T09:47:30.313+00:00Sue G, I agree with you. Spot on. Sad that this is...Sue G, I agree with you. Spot on. Sad that this is what it has come to because it takes a village to raise a child and when TB Cameron comes knocking to talk about a broken heart, it's a bit tough to have to stand on the doorstep and pat his shoulder in a rainstorm! Nothing for it John but to knock down one wall of the cottage and install glass instead. Your central heating bills will go through the roof and William will have a field day with the glass wall but decorum will be served! Sam Davidsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07866626592684918405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-18360111944401993002016-09-14T08:54:33.281+00:002016-09-14T08:54:33.281+00:00Sounds like a very wise way to act, err on the sid...Sounds like a very wise way to act, err on the side of caution. Travelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07787024407420088973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-38126641224280269102016-09-14T07:18:48.927+00:002016-09-14T07:18:48.927+00:00Unfortunately it's a 'sign of the times...Unfortunately it's a 'sign of the times' John, no matter whether you're gay or not, man or woman, we all have to be a bit careful about what we do and who we invite into the home. Sad I know, but best to be on the safe side. However, if someone was in danger, i.e. fallen in the river, been run over or whatever, then you just have to dive in there and get on with it regardless.Sue Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16463317651625459406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-87323015854699526012016-09-14T06:31:14.738+00:002016-09-14T06:31:14.738+00:00I'd have conducted myself in precisely the way...I'd have conducted myself in precisely the way that you did, J.G. To err (whether it is so or not) on the side of caution is simply wise.Raybeardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12424095016313843883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-74365925473613877302016-09-14T05:03:57.635+00:002016-09-14T05:03:57.635+00:00I would have done exactly the same Cro. It's s...I would have done exactly the same Cro. It's sad that most people hesitate these days. Teachers are dammed if they do and accused of being unfeeling if they don't. I always thought that my duty of care was towards the student and if that required a hug they got it.Jenny Wrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08143843635516032191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-80563236002396699762016-09-14T04:57:37.595+00:002016-09-14T04:57:37.595+00:00It's true in the UK. I work in a police depar...It's true in the UK. I work in a police department. The public dont see half of it. Sorry if you dont like it. Rachel Phillipshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053924416805878169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-23538259193158055522016-09-14T04:26:59.297+00:002016-09-14T04:26:59.297+00:00I once found a youngish boy (10 ?) being viciously...I once found a youngish boy (10 ?) being viciously barked at by two nasty dogs. I got him into the car and drove him to his home. When I arrived at the dinner party (where I'd been heading) the English guests all threw their hands up in horror when I related the event. No-one in England would do that they said. I was extremely surprised. Cro Magnonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06840670227576695352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-66177716674516386982016-09-14T03:27:21.299+00:002016-09-14T03:27:21.299+00:00I kinda sorta get this, but then it kinda sorta ma...I kinda sorta get this, but then it kinda sorta makes me really sad. you are the sweetest man on earth, and I would think that most of the people in your village feel the same way. What on earth do you think they think you're going to do?<br /><br />You have little Liv and Ellie (is that their names??) in and that is perfectly normal. I don't want you to think that about yourself. Even if you are saying that you are doing this for the villagers - still, it seems a thing that people would have thought in the 80's - 90's...it's 2016!! Maybe I'm just naive, but again, that is very sad that you have to even think that. Obviously this young man doesn't. I respect your decision..but still...<br /><br />You are so sweet, so kind, so honorable, John. I hope you remember that about yourself every moment.livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-8986610929954831202016-09-14T03:00:01.959+00:002016-09-14T03:00:01.959+00:00I worked in a primary school for 25 yrs as support...I worked in a primary school for 25 yrs as support with kids with special needs. When I first started all those years ago being tactile was not frowned on when kids need a hug. Then over time political corrections <br />and child protection became more of an issue. (As it should) however until I retired a couple of years ago I always gave comfort when needed<br />hugs to Kindy kids for Chrissie and birthdays etc. You build a relationship with the parents as you have and they know you and trust you as you have. Talk to them and then invite him in for a cuppa. Hang the neighbours.Jenny Wrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08143843635516032191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-5487588934639665212016-09-14T01:38:50.610+00:002016-09-14T01:38:50.610+00:00And perhaps your work with the Samaritans.And perhaps your work with the Samaritans.The Crankyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11482237436135513483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-36132277850773941122016-09-13T23:35:13.930+00:002016-09-13T23:35:13.930+00:00You are considerate John. I work in a primary scho...You are considerate John. I work in a primary school and often the little ones just run up and hug you, we hold our hands up in the air and say that's nice :) I do love watching working with them, the stuff they tell me is hilarious and at times mortifying for their parents !!Twiggyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09065849697979313992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-31438204779409029382016-09-13T23:33:04.299+00:002016-09-13T23:33:04.299+00:00It's such a sad state, but I think it just com...It's such a sad state, but I think it just comes with age and an awareness of the world to proceed with an abundance of caution in this area. I don't think you're being rude at all... absolutely correct in fact... and if it strikes him as rude now I can predict that as he gets older he will understand the formality that a casual, completely innocent social visit between a minor an adult will require. I am surprised, like another poster, that you don't have an outdoor seating area ? This is a perfect excuse to arrange one.Cottontailfarmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06603586688895863727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-10183730518633360672016-09-13T23:31:45.263+00:002016-09-13T23:31:45.263+00:00well, I think it's a sad statement on our cult...well, I think it's a sad statement on our culture and society. I think you can teach children how to protect themselves without stifling every day getting along and graciousness. Like jenny o said, if you trust that person why would you object. perfect strangers? yes, I can understand, but the people you live with, the village that knows you and the person you are, the child or teen that knows you. your friend who leaves the girls with you isn't doing so because you are gay but because they trust you.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-22342468902784562222016-09-13T23:08:44.614+00:002016-09-13T23:08:44.614+00:00I think its a gender thing HelsieI think its a gender thing HelsieJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-44266760670397617262016-09-13T23:03:30.561+00:002016-09-13T23:03:30.561+00:00But why not, John? I babysat boys after school. I ...But why not, John? I babysat boys after school. I think it comes down to who the parents trust, not gender or sexual orientation. But then that is a different question from how we protect ourselves and our youngsters from not only harm but the appearance of harm these days.jenny_ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15475480579733466963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-60871980499062846272016-09-13T22:51:00.534+00:002016-09-13T22:51:00.534+00:00I understand your caution John ...but then you bab...I understand your caution John ...but then you babysit those two young girls and don't worry there. I know there are two of them and there's safety in numbers but .....<br />as a teacher we were warned about touching children. That was when I decided it was time to retire. I was always one to put an arm around an upset child, pat them on the back or even a quick hug if it suited the occasion. This was in the Primary age groups I might add. Helsiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04801049953035653441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-10476089555261872512016-09-13T22:47:02.004+00:002016-09-13T22:47:02.004+00:00John, my view is we are all more aware of the '...John, my view is we are all more aware of the 'responsibilities' of life. Perhaps we could consider it to be a respectful regard for others rather than the fear of being accused of inappropriate social manners.<br />Awareness of the opposite sex, the young and the vulnerable are all more in our presence in this day and age than- with more people on the planet and more pressure in society we need boundaries.<br />I think you are being wise and considerate - I'm sure that Cameron respects your position too.Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00494264576774267597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-65441495896606475592016-09-13T22:45:55.850+00:002016-09-13T22:45:55.850+00:00Yes, but in the world as it is today it is harder ...Yes, but in the world as it is today it is harder if you are a man in these situations.Helsiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04801049953035653441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-29829676496099223072016-09-13T22:44:08.697+00:002016-09-13T22:44:08.697+00:00I asked him to forward them to me, I would like to...I asked him to forward them to me, I would like to show them offJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-28686358670986583752016-09-13T22:41:57.530+00:002016-09-13T22:41:57.530+00:00I would just like to see some of the village photo...I would just like to see some of the village photos that he took. Would you be willing to post some of them?<br /><br />On the other subject - it's better to be safe than sorry. There are always idiots who think that 'something' is wrong. If he reads your blog, he knows now that there is no rudeness on your part.Irishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12550611275677498097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-60464115962508580822016-09-13T21:58:31.842+00:002016-09-13T21:58:31.842+00:00on reflection I think that this is an interesting ...on reflection I think that this is an interesting subject. I have straight friends (men) who will cross over the road rather than walk behind a woman on a pavement at night and I have known step grandparents who will be very careful with showing demonstrative affection to step grandchildren.<br />perhaps there is a touch of hysteria in the air, perhaps its just over sensitivity...or is it "professionalism" creeping into real life?<br />who knows<br />hey hoJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-50587454585507448882016-09-13T21:52:35.332+00:002016-09-13T21:52:35.332+00:00yes..like teachers..nurses ( and psychiatric nurse...yes..like teachers..nurses ( and psychiatric nurses especially) have it drummed into them that minors should never be seen "privately"<br />I guess that this has still not been drummed out of meJohn Going Gentlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14958171262765033946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20303812.post-27292263447200677092016-09-13T21:50:50.496+00:002016-09-13T21:50:50.496+00:00you just contributed to rape culture, right there....you just contributed to rape culture, right there. What an appalling way to talk about your own genderkyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.com