Monday, 13 November 2017

Idiot


A very nice inspector for the RSPCA came around this morning as I was making parsnip soup. She had reports of an " umkempt goat" being dumped in a field.
After we popped over to the Ukrainian Village she was happy that Irene, was not unkempt, dumped or even a goat!
I have no problem with well meaning people worrying about animals, even though they don't understand Scottish sheep look scruffy when moulting
The inspector said she would try and help me find a field mate for Irene.

I always feel very guilty when I deal with officials in uniform.
I can resort to babbling when stopped by the police , (which has happened several times when I have driven home late after Samaritans ) it's a false guilty/ nervous kind of thing!
The RSPCA inspector was lovely and was busily kissing Winnie on the Forehead as the terriers crowded around her but I still found myself admitting to her that when I was eight I poured peppermint essence into our pond which killed all of my mother's goldfish!
Huh?

42 comments:

  1. Im a blithering idiot around police officers! I'm sure I act guilty of every crime there is because I babble on so. I'm 61 years old and have never had a ticket of any kind. I have been pulled over, though...always for speeding. I've ended up getting a verbal warning every time, and I'm 100% positive that it's because the poor cop just wants to be rid of me.

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    1. Fuck knows why I told her that story, she wasn't interested !

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  2. We forgive you for the goldfish, keep up the good works and being kind to make up for it. I killed a frog with a garden hoe when I was about that age, it took me years to forgive myself.

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    1. To this day I have no idea why I did it

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    2. Anonymous6:33 pm

      I have a secret too....
      It was big black and hairy and I was afraid of it!
      Well it was. Until... I murdered it
      Huge big b*^'*you guessed it spider

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    3. Anonymous7:04 pm

      I'very just Been arrested by the police and charged with murder. My solicitor thinks I'll get life.

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  3. The RSPCA inspector sounds very nice. I wonder if she also needs a field mate.

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    1. By the general look of things she needs five more co workers

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  4. Thanks for making me laugh with your last paragraph's story. Those gold fish will have died a sweet death in the knowledge that good old John, as early as age eight, will only ever kill with kindness.

    U

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    1. The smell in the garden was what I really remember...1000 after eight mints

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  5. I do the same with authority. Although I have watched enough crime documentaries to know one should always shut their mouth! Good news on another person on the lookout for a friend for Irene!

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  6. I do it also ... I jabber away when nervous ... doctors/police etc.
    At the end, you can look back and say to yourself, I made up for the goldfish ..

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  7. Awwwwww sweet Irene, I was wondering how she was doing.
    Has she settled in somewhat without her mum.

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. She's better but needs a field mate

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  8. Parsnip soup? I'll have to try that.

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    Replies
    1. With a God few teaspoons of curry powder in it

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  9. Try a Bramley apple with the parsnips.

    Re RSPCA Inspector - guilt lies deep in the soul.
    Good to be back.

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    Replies
    1. Nice to haveuback

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    2. Hooray! Been watching for you, Weave xx

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  10. Admit nothing! :)

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  11. Whenever I see a police person I either grin like the village idiot or have a profound urge to shout "Yes! I did it, I murdered them all!". I seem to absorb guilt from the air.

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  12. I would have thought Irene would moult in the spring and then grow a new thick coat for winter?

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    Replies
    1. Her winter coat is coming through but the residue of last year's cooat stillremains

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  13. What breed is Irene - Soay? Hope you find her a friend. Give me a shout if you have an Irene fleece to sell next year :)

    S

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    1. One of the ladies in the village used to collect the wool, she made me a hat

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    2. Yeah, coz I told you about them!! Pfftt....

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  14. Oh, I know the feeling! I would never agree to a lie detector test, because my false guilt (while being innocent) would probably look like real guilt on paper!

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  15. my goldfish perished at a teenage party my brothers threw. I think it was alcohol poisoning.

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  16. Must be something about being 8 and abusing goldfish. I was in bed recovering from measles and feeling bored emptied the contents of a tin of talcum powder into the fishbowl and stirred vigorously with a hair brush. My mother was not happy........

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  17. Good you got the goldfish story off your chest. A blessing for your RSPA gal to have a few minutes with happy, healthy, well loved pets. The memory will keep her going for months.

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  18. Smiling. On so many levels.

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  19. PEPPERMINT ESSENCE??? Right, that's it. I am off... Actually, I am still haunted by how a lucky shot with an air pistol killed a house sparrow, to my surprise and grief when I was about 14. I was a vegetarian for 7 years after that.

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  20. I also had a goldfish incident when I was eight! I thought they looked thirsty so in went a cup of cold tea!! I still feel guilty about it but I was trying to be kind!

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  21. Reading all these goldfish stories makes me think maybe they are not as good a "starter" pet as they're made out to be!

    Unkempt goat? Poor Irene!!

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  22. It would’ve good if Irene got a friend. Animals need company also.

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  23. Friends of ours was so excited to meet us initially (don't ask me; I guess they were desperate for friends) that she got a bit overzealous in her need to make conversation and have us like her. She went so far as to tell a joke that ended with the words "donkey dick." I didn't laugh because the joke wasn't funny. She thought she had scared us away. Nerves!

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  24. I'm surprised we haven't had the RSPCA round about Ethel our sheep. She's the one that adopted us by walking in off the main road and decided to stay. She had a huge wound on her side caused by flystrike which we have treated with vets advice only the antiseptic that Alan chose to buy was a really deep shade of pink which to anyone driving past our place MUST look like blood pouring down her flank.

    She's doing so much better now and is off to the tup today ... well we have to get her some little companions and what better way for her to have company than to provide it herself.

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    1. Oh and I have to confess to flushing a live goldfish down the toilet.

      It had appeared to be dead for many hours floating on the top of it's bowl, but for some reason once I tipped it down the loo it came back to life and I flushed it away in panic :-(

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  25. Some lady called the SPCA on one of my friends who owned some horses. The lady complained that as she drove by, the horses were lying stretched out enjoying the sunshine, she said that everyone "knows" horses NEVER lie down. What the???

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