Slipping Myself A Sneaky Sausage


As I sneaked one cocktail sausage out of the pack I somehow caught the packaging on the lip of my carrier bag and dropped 39 miniature sausages onto the floor.
It would have been fine if I was home, after all the sausages were bought as treats for the dogs, but I was stood at our local ATS Euromaster waiting for a tyre to be changed, and the waiting room was almost full of people.
Now if you drop money all sorts of people will come out of the woodwork to your aid, but I have to say, drop 39 mini bangers in front of 7 people in a grotty garage waiting room and no fucker comes to help! 
I could have died of shame

36 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:23 am

    "Help me folks. Three second rule rules".

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  2. Only you, J.G. Ha ha! I can just see you, face purple as beetroot and muttering to yourself, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you - and the sausages.

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  3. Its my dyspraxia i knew I was going to drop them a fraction of a second before i did

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    Replies
    1. I wanted t o say dyspraxia bites but I couldn't remember the name of it!

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    2. I fell over in the garden later on too

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  4. Anonymous12:24 pm

    After all these years you really should be able to control your sausage, John.

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  5. My dear John, you let yourself be embarrassed too easily. Try bleeding like a pig (white jumpsuit) on your first postpartum outing, visiting WAITROSE no less, with freshly baked baby in arm. Such was my delirious happiness I thought people smiling at me were smiling at the Angel. Even a group of youngsters sniggering didn't register with my new mother's pride. Till a kindly older lady pulled down the Angel's blanket to cover my "shame". I did flee back to the carpark. Though not embarrassed. Disgusted with human kind.

    Anyway, since you appear quick witted, why didn't you turn to the garage audience, with a grand and sweeping gesture: "Help yourselves."

    U

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    Replies
    1. I just went red , said " whoops" and bent over

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    2. did you fart when you bent over?

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  6. That'll teach you to sneakily snaffle one of the dogs treats!

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  7. They're just little wieners. No real harm done.

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  8. Too bad you didn't have a dog with you. There would have been help a plenty from that province.

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  9. At least your life is never boring and you never wonder what you'll blog about :) Did you buy another package for the woofies?

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    Replies
    1. No i filled my pockets with them and the dogs had them later

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  10. It helps to travel with dogs.

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  11. I have known anyone have so many minor crises as you John - you seem to dash from one to the next.

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  12. You should have asked "Anyone for a game of Snakes and Sausages?"

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  13. Next time bring a dog. :)

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  14. Right, there were 40 in the package then?!
    Greetings Maria x

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  15. For little thing like this I was called "Grace." What do they call you besides John?

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  16. They look a bit wrinkly!

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  17. There's a silver lining to this, John. You have taught the old Catalyst a new word. I had never heard "dyspraxia" before this. And I commend you for only saying "whoops". My expression would have been much worse!

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  18. Did you pick them up and did the dogs get them?

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  19. Oh John, I needed a giggle with my afternoon coffee.

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  20. You are so not alone. Klutzdom rules here too.

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  21. Damn . . . you are fun!

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  22. Never travel without a labrador (ps what does albert get for snacks?)

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  23. That's is just the sort of thing I do. Soooooo funny.

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  24. And dogs everywhere wailed with disappointment.

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  25. The good thing is that you saved the sausages. No reason to be embarrassed, after all, you didn't eat them off the floor.

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